


Days of Plenty

by lastchildofkrypton



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Beca as a big sister is my everything, Beca is so soft for her girls, Chloe is a sweetheart, Domestic, F/F, Family Death, Original Female Character - Freeform, Sisters, bechloe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-05-14 11:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14768487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastchildofkrypton/pseuds/lastchildofkrypton
Summary: When Daniel and Sheila Mitchell die in an accident Beca and Chloe are thrown into parenthood, raising Beca's half-sister. (Established Bechloe)





	1. Shock

“Beca,” Chloe hits her girlfriend, with a floppy hand, “Bec, your phone.”

Beca groans and rolls over in the bed. She grabs blindly for her cell phone; desperately wanting the sound to stop. She’s been working nearly round the clock in the studio with Theo and tonight is her first full night in her own bed. She finally feels the smooth, glassy finish of the screen on her fingertips.

“Hello?” Her voice is raspy, she’s ready to kill whoever is on the other end of the line.  
“Hello, is this Beca Mitchell?”

She sits up at the formal tone and the unfamiliar voice. She was expecting Amy, drunk off her ass calling from Australia, or Stacie calling because she’s up feeding Bella, or even Emily having a mental breakdown over her psych class, not whatever this is.

“Yes, who is this?”  
“My name is Officer Fields with the Atlanta Police Department. I’m so sorry to have to deliver this news, especially over the phone, but there’s been an accident.”

Every muscle in her body tightens. Her breath hitches and she can feel Chloe’s hand on her back; also now wide awake, looking at her with widened eyes.

“What kind of accident?”  
“Your father and his wife, were in a car accident.”  
“Are they okay?”

When there’s an extended pause she knows they aren’t. She knows exactly what kind of call this is.

“Your father was killed on impact and your step-mother was brought to the hospital but I’m sorry to say she didn’t make it.”

Beca’s mind is spinning, she feels like she’s going to throw up. Maybe if she blinks, or pinches herself hard enough, she’ll wake up. She’ll wake up and find it’s just a nightmare. But the longer the conversation goes on, the more awake she becomes, she realizes this is actually happening.

“We have your sister here with us. She’s going to be staying with a neighbor until you can arrive.”

  
_Arrive? Right, she needs to get to Atlanta, now._

“Um, right, yeah. I, uh, I’m sorry. I’m just a little-”  
“It’s a lot of information. But I think it best that you get the first flight you can.”  
“Can I talk to Lucy?”

There’s a shuffle on the line. She hears muffled talking and then a small, broken voice.

“Beca?”  
“Hey, are you okay? Were you in the car?”  
“No. I wasn’t with them.”

Her words fall into sobs. Beca wishes she was there to wrap her in her arms. She lets a couple of her own tears fall and she knows Chloe is probably going out of her mind trying to figure out what’s going on; but to her credit, she doesn’t interrupt. She waits patiently in her usual Chloe way, fading into the background until Beca needs her.

“I’m going to be there as soon as I can, alright? Tomorrow. Morning.”  
“Please hurry.” She sounds completely different than she did two days ago when Beca talked to her, “Please.”  
“I’m coming. I love you.”  
“Love you too.”

Beca hops off of the bed and starts gathering anything she can find.

“Ms. Mitchell,” Officer Fields is back on the phone, “I will send you the information for your father’s neighbor. Lucy will be with her until you get here. Let me know when you’re in Atlanta.”  
“I will. Thank you.”

Beca hangs up the phone and tosses it across the room, already tearing around in circles.

“Beca?”

_Chloe. Thank God for Chloe, because if she wasn’t here, saying her name, grounding her, she would surely lose it._

"Beca, what’s going on?”  
“I, uh, I have to go to Atlanta.”  
“There was an accident? Your dad?”

Beca is half folding, half balling up clothes, and tossing them into a duffel bag. She throws a pair of mismatched shoes and a curling iron, that definitely isn’t hers, in too. Chloe gets up and grabs Beca’s hands to stop her.

“Baby, talk to me. What’s going on?”

Beca looks into her eyes and that’s it. She falls into her arms and sobs.

“They’re dead.”

Chloe sits them both down on the bed. She pushes the hair that's fallen into Beca’s face back; some of the pieces stick to the tear tracks. She can feel her shaking, her hands are suddenly cold but clammy.

“My dad and Sheila, they’re dead. There was an accident. I don’t know. I need to get to Atlanta. I need to go.”  
“Okay, we’ll be on the first flight out. But first you need to take a breath.”

Chloe pulls her into a hug and lets her cry. She feels like she’s vibrating. Chloe does her best to keep Beca calm, but it’s no use. There’s nothing anyone can do, or say, to make this better. She packs for the both of them while Beca checks every site possible for a flight that will get them there before tomorrow morning. She has a hard time typing, she can’t get her hands to stop shaking and she can barely see through the tears in her eyes. The only sound in the room is her sniffling and the clinking of clothes hangers.

“I got ‘em.” Beca says, closing her laptop more aggressively than she ever normally would, “You don’t need to come with me. I know you’ve been crazy busy with school and work and-”  
“Beca, you’re not going through this alone. I’m coming, everyone at work will understand.”

Beca nods. Their flight leaves in four hours so she forces herself into the shower and into normal clothes before they leave for the airport.

 

Beca is agitated. That much is clear. Since she started working with DJ Khaled, a couple of months ago, the paparazzi have been following her every move. Of course, a spontaneous trip to the airport in the middle of the night caught their attention, and this time, she doesn’t have sunglasses to hide behind. She grips the handle of her suitcase and Chloe’s hand tighter, keeping her head down to walk through the small group of people trying to get her attention. She’s in a trance, her only mission is getting to her sister.

Through the whole security process and while they are waiting to board, her knee is bouncing. She’s biting her nails, which she hasn’t done in months, and fiddling with her hair tie on her wrist. Chloe doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t know what to say. Beca’s eyes are flitting around the terminal, at every sound, every voice, every single person. She’s sent several texts to her sister, all have gone unanswered. She looks like she’s about to explode.

“Bec?”  
“Hm?”  
“You okay?”

She nods, but Chloe hasn’t heard her say anything since they booked the flight. Neither of them have slept and Chloe is hoping she’s able to convince Beca to take a nap on the plane; but knowing the stress she’s under, the devastating grief she must be feeling, and hasn’t had time to process, not to mention how much she hates flying, that isn’t going to happen.

 

As soon as they touch down in Atlanta, they get their rental car. Chloe drives toward Barden, a route that is as embedded into her memory as her subway ride home from work. It’s quiet; Beca doesn’t turn the radio on like she normally would, to groan about the current top 40. There’s no GPS repeating directions incessantly; just the whoosh of the cars passing them on the highway and the clicking of the directional. Beca tries to call Lucy but she doesn’t answer. She taps her fingers on her knee, feeling the thinning denim under her fingers.

Chloe turns the car into the Mitchells’ driveway but Beca walks directly to the neighbor’s house. When Officer Fields sent the information over, it was a name she vaguely recognized as the elderly woman next door. She answers the door and Beca knows the face. It’s kind and worn, her eyes sparkle against the early morning southern sun.

“Beca.”  
“Hi Mrs. Reed.”  
“Come in, dear, please.” She stands aside so Beca and Chloe can walk inside the small home, “Lucy, sweetheart, your sister is here.”

She calls up the stairs and a few seconds later a small body is launching itself down the stairs into Beca’s arms.

“Hi Lou.”

She can already feel Lucy’s tears dampening her thin t-shirt. She just pulls her in tighter and kisses her temple. They stand, wrapped up in each other, for a few minutes. Mrs. Reed has disappeared to get them water. Chloe is standing off to the side to give them all the time they need. They haven’t seen each other in person in close to a year, since before the USO tour.

“Why don’t you girls come and sit. I’ll give Officer Fields a call.” Mrs. Reed says, clearly apprehensive about disrupting the moment, but they do.  
Lucy stops and gives Chloe a hug. Chloe pulls her close and whispers into her ear.  
“I’m so sorry.”

Lucy nods so she knows she heard her, but she doesn’t think she could speak right now, even if she wanted to.

 

When Officer Fields arrives, he is nothing like Beca expected based on the sound of his voice. He’s short and very young. He has scruff on his face and his eyes are sad. It looks genuine but Beca can never be sure, she was never good at reading people.

“Ms. Mitchell, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

She nods in acknowledgment. He turns to look at Lucy.

“How are you doing this morning?”

She just shrugs. Chloe grabs Beca’s hand when they all sit down together.

“So, Ms. Mitchell-”  
“Just Beca is fine.”  
“Okay, Beca, the first order of business is probably the most gruesome. We need you to come to the morgue and identify the bodies.”  
“What?”

Her eyes widen and she looks between the officer and her girlfriend.

“It’s standard procedure. We need someone to claim them.”  
_Claim them. It sounds like they’re a piece of luggage that got left at the airport._

 

He goes through the details of the night, what they suspect happened, what they found at the scene, everything. Lucy is curled up in the armchair, her eyes are closed tightly, trying to pretend like she's anywhere else. The skin around her fingernails is picked off and her thumb and middle fingers are bleeding.

“We should have you identify them as soon as possible, that way we can get them transported and you can start on funeral arrangements.”

His words feel like a kick in the gut. Of course she has to plan the funeral, but she has no idea how to do that. It seems like such a grown up thing to have to do. The look on her face must give her away because he says,

“I’m sorry if that seems harsh. I’m just doing my job.”  
“No, I know. I get it. Can we go now?”

He nods and follows them out of the house. He gets into his car while Beca and Chloe walk toward their own. Lucy is right behind them. Beca turns and looks into her eyes.

“You’re not coming.”  
“What?”  
“You shouldn’t have to see this.”

Lucy seems ruffled by this. She crosses her arms and stiffens her jaw.

“I already know they’re dead, Beca. I was the one that was here last night, remember?”

She kicks a rock with her sneaker and it patters across the pavement.

“My mom died in front of me but I couldn’t claim her because I’m not eighteen.”  
“What? You were there?”

This time when Lucy looks up into her sister’s face, she looks the way she remembers her, young and vulnerable.

“Lucy, I’m so sorry.”  
“Whatever.” She swerves around Beca and gets into the backseat of the car.

 

The whole process takes much longer than they thought it would. There is paperwork and more interviewing, before the dreaded moment comes. Officer Fields leads Beca and Chloe to a window. There’s a woman in a lab coat looking at a computer. He knocks twice to make her look up. Her facial expression isn’t overly burdened; it’s clear she does this all the time. She moves over to one of the tables. Beca hadn’t noticed the body shaped lumps underneath the stark white sheets until her hands falls on the edge of one.

“Are you ready?”

The officer’s voice startles her for some reason, even though she knew it would come. She can’t speak so she just nods. She doesn’t take her eyes off of the sheet. It’s smaller than the other so she knows that when it’s lifted it will be Sheila’s face. She takes a sharp inhale but it all still seems to dissipate when her lifeless form is exposed. Tears drip down her cheeks, her hands are shaking, she feels like she’s about to pass out.

“Ms. Mitchell, is that Sheila Mitchell?”  
“Y-yes, that’s her.”

She feels Chloe’s hand against her back; steady and warm. She wishes, more than anything, that she wasn’t the one that had to do this. He nods again and the sheet is placed gently back over her face. Chloe and Beca both notice how strange it is to know there is someone beneath it and it doesn’t move with breath or an itch or a chill.

The medical examiner moves to the table beside it and they follow the same procedure. This time, it’s a much longer pause. Beca can’t move. She doesn’t want to see him, not like this. She would prefer to never see his face again than have to look at it covered in death. But she nods. When the sheet is lifted she affirms that it’s her father as quickly as possible. She doesn’t want her gaze to linger. She doesn’t want this image of her dad to be the one she’s left with. The sheet is pulled back over his head.

“Thank you, Ms. Mitch- Beca. You did exceptionally well.”

Officer Fields leads them back into the waiting area where Lucy is waiting, curled up into herself on one of the rickety chairs in the corner. She barely looks up when they come into the room. Beca doesn’t stop, she rushes out the main doors, in barely enough time to get sick into the bushes. She pushes her hand against the brick wall, the coolness is welcomed against her blazing skin. She takes in deep breaths but it doesn’t seem to be enough.

“Beca, are you okay?”

She closes her eyes and tries to push the harshness from her voice, but it’s no use.

“No, I’m not okay. How the hell could I be okay after that?”

This time when Chloe tries to touch her, she pushes her away. She hates herself for it later, but in the moment it’s the only thing she can think to do.

“Baby, you will be.”  
“You don’t know that.”  
“Yes, I do.” Chloe says, much more reassuring this time, “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You just need some time.”  
“I’m never going to be able to unsee that.”  
“I know. This whole situation is horrible but it will get easier to stomach in time.”

Beca lets the words sink in before speaking. It’s something she learned from Chloe, the patience. If this had been a few years ago she would be verbally abusing anyone who dared cross her path, but now she knows that everyone is just trying to help her; no matter how futile it is.

“Where’s Lou?”  
“She’s still inside. I figured you could use a minute. I’ll go get her.”

When she walks back inside, Lucy and Officer Fields are seated in the corner where Lucy had been waiting. He isn’t a big man by any means but in comparison to Lucy he towers over her. He has his elbows on his knees and he is speaking quietly to her. Chloe walks up slowly to hear what he’s saying. Lucy catches her eyes for a second before turning her attention back to Officer Fields.

“I know this isn’t easy, but you’ve handled this all very well.”

Lucy nods but she doesn’t look fully convinced.

“So you’re just done with us now?”  
“I’ll check in from time to time.”

Something about him makes Chloe believe it.

“I’ll be at the funeral. You’re going to be just fine, Lucy. Someday.”

Lucy bites her lip, she’s trying not to cry. Beca does the same thing. She doesn’t say anything else, she just walks out of the room. Officer Fields stands from his chair and looks to Chloe.

“I don’t know what it is about that kid, but she got to me.”

He shrugs. The same sadness comes across his face as earlier in the day.

“The Mitchell girls have a tendency to do that.”  
“Tell them again how sorry I am.”

He starts to walk away but Chloe stops him gently with a hand on his arm.

“Did you know Daniel and Sheila?” She asks.  
“I’m sad to say I didn’t.”  
“It’s just you seem very invested in this case.”  
“This is my first solo case,” He admits, “and my first case with a kid. It gets to you in a way nothing else can.”

Chloe realizes, the look on his face is the same look Lucy has on her own; vulnerable.

“Well, you’ve done right by all of us. So thank you.”  
“Of course, let me know if there’s anything else I can do.”

 

When they get back to Mrs. Reed’s house, Lucy goes to gather her stuff. The older woman offers them water, tea, coffee, food, anything she can think of to fill the silence. Beca declines everything and Chloe offers her a sympathetic smile.

“I’m ready.” Lucy says, a backpack slung over her shoulder. She turns to Mrs. Reed, “Thank you for letting me stay here. It was probably better than some DCFS placement.”  
“I’ll take that as a compliment, dear.”

She gives a kind smile and places her hand gently on Lucy’s cheek. Beca isn’t sure how well Lucy actually knows this woman. she grew up next door to her and everything, but she had never heard much mention of her; by the way she leans into her touch, ever so slightly, she can assume they have spent some time together.

“Let me know if you need help with anything regarding the services. After my Walter died I had to arrange it all. It can get overwhelming.”  
“Thank you.” Chloe says.

They walk out the door and over to Daniel and Sheila’s house. Once inside, there’s a silence that can’t be described by anything other than disturbing. The home that once seemed cozy and welcoming is a reminder of everything they’ve suddenly lost. All of the lights are off, there’s no aroma of food cooking in the kitchen, or classical music playing over the speakers in the living room. It’s cold and the echoes tell them they are in fact alone in the house. Lucy disappears to her bedroom, Beca and Chloe take a seat at the kitchen table.

“I didn’t even think about the funeral.”  
“Don’t worry about that right now.”  
“I don’t know how to do all that. Chlo, am I expected to like handle all of this now?”

Chloe takes her hand and kisses her knuckles.

“I know you don’t have any other family, and I know your mom and dad didn’t end things very amicably, but do you think she might-”  
“You’ve met my mom. She isn’t willing to do anything for anybody, especially my dad. She probably won’t even come, let alone help plan it.”  
“I can call my mom, she planned my grandfather’s funeral. She can help us figure out our next steps, alright?”

Chloe is starting to miss the way she looks into her eyes. Her gaze has barely lifted above the ground since last night.

“Beca, look at me, baby.”

She waits until she is sure Beca is actually listening to her.

“You are not doing this alone. We’ll get through this, all of us.”


	2. Blowin' in the Wind

Beca isn’t able to sleep. After googling how to plan a funeral, looking up local florists and funeral homes, answering work emails, and trying to work on a new mix, she pulls her headphones out. She can hear something, an unfamiliar sound, down the hallway. She checks to make sure that Chloe is still asleep. She is passed out, after being awake for nearly twenty four hours.

Beca tiptoes down the hall, eyes squinted to make sure she doesn’t trip. She peeks into Lucy’s room, the next one over, but the bed is empty; it hasn’t been slept in at all. Beca’s heart beats a little faster. Then she hears a muffled, “No.” She looks into Daniel and Sheila’s bedroom.

“Lou?”

Her sister is asleep, tossing and turning, in the middle of the bed. Beca moves to the edge of the mattress. when she tries to put her hand on Lucy’s shoulder she almost catches a hand to the face.

“Lou, wake up. It’s a nightmare.”

She shakes her until her eyes blink open. It takes her a minute to realize where she is and that it’s Beca sitting with her, not her mom.

“It was just a nightmare. Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine.”

She pushes herself off of the bed and walks out of the room. Beca watches her go then looks around the room; it doesn’t feel right being in here anymore. She can’t say that she ever spent any time in this room before, but it definitely doesn’t feel right now. She fixes the bed and turns off the lamp before leaving the room, making sure to close the door behind her.  
Lucy’s bedroom door is now shut, a gentle glow from her light coming out from underneath it. Beca thinks about going in. She thinks about trying to comfort her, but there’s no use. They’re stuck in this weird in-between and there’s nothing to do except wait.

 

At some point during the night Beca is able to sleep, because the next thing she knows, she’s waking up to the smell of bacon. She can hear music from the top of the stairs, but there’s no singing accompanying it like there normally would be. Chloe is standing over the stove, still in her pajamas.

“Morning.”  
“Hi baby, you got some sleep.”

Beca nods, pours herself some coffee and sits at the island.

“Lou come down yet?”  
“Haven’t seen her.”  
“Are we sure she’s still in her room?” Beca asks, half joking.  
“You don’t think she would have snuck out do you?”

Beca wants to smirk but can’t seem to get her muscles to work.

“No. But I’m not sure we’ll see her unless I go up there and drag her out.”  
“Are you going to?”  
“Why should I?” 

Chloe puts food on plates and places them on the table. She leans over and kisses Beca’s head.

“Because she probably shouldn’t be alone right now, and she needs to eat.”

There’s a long pause before Beca speaks through teary eyes.

“I don’t know what to say to her.”  
“There isn’t much to say, but no one should be alone at a time like this. And today is going to be a busy day, there’s a lot to figure out.”

Beca knows she’s right. She just wishes she wasn’t the one left behind to deal with it.   
She climbs the stairs and knocks gently on Lucy’s bedroom door. She doesn’t get a reply so she pushes the door open. Lucy is sound asleep in the middle of her bed. Beca takes a minute to actually look at her for the first time in almost half a year.

She’s changed a lot since the last time she saw her. She’s twelve now, and getting tall, well tall for a Mitchell. She has beautiful honey brown hair, lightened by the sun. Her skin is perfectly tanned, and her freckles are more prominent on her cheeks and arms than they will be come wintertime. Her and Beca look almost nothing alike, she takes after her mom. Beca has seen photos from when her stepmother was young and they are nearly identical.   
She’s wearing one of their dad’s Barden t-shirts and shorts, revealing bruises and scrapes on her legs. She was always adventurous and more daring than Beca ever had been. She’s an athlete. She prefers outdoor activities, something Beca never understood.

She moves to the edge of the bed and rests her hand on Lucy’s hip. She speaks quietly, she doesn’t want to startle her awake.

“Lou, wake up, kid.”

Lucy’s features scrunch up but she doesn’t make any other moves.

“Come on, wake up.” Beca says with a gentle tap.

Lucy rolls onto her back and groans. She rubs her eyes and lets out a cough.

“Good morning.”

She’s met with Lucy’s vacant stare.

“Chloe has breakfast downstairs and we have a lot to do today, so you should get moving, okay?”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
“I know what you mean. You still need to eat.”

Lucy nods and rolls out of the bed. Beca gives her privacy, going back downstairs to try to force down something to eat. When Lucy appears in the kitchen she is wearing what looks like workout clothes with her hair pulled back into a ponytail. Beca’s stomach churns at how little she is. The bags under her eyes and the redness on her cheeks, rubbed raw from wiping tears away, are the unnecessary reminders of how terrified she must have been, how scared she must still be.

“Good morning, Lucy.” Chloe greets her.

Chloe and Lucy have spent a good amount of time together. When Beca and Chloe started dating they used to go to dinner at Daniel and Sheila’s once a week. They would take Lucy out for dinner, or to a movie, or mini golfing. Beca was always a good big sister but Chloe made sure that she treated her sister with patience and understanding. The fifteen years between them leaves a lot of room for distance. Not to mention, Beca’s mom’s hatred for Sheila; and in turn Lucy. It always made Beca staying in Georgia for holidays a nightmare.

“Morning.”

Lucy sits in the chair across from Chloe and takes a piece of toast, dry, with some water. It’s all her stomach can handle right now. She feels like at any moment she could vomit. She sips the water and rips the piece of toast up to make it look like she’s eaten at least some of it.

“We’ll be meeting with the funeral director today. We need to figure out the arrangements for the wake and the funeral, as well as a reception or something after.” Chloe starts.

Beca gives a pointed look to Lucy, who once again has her eyes shut tightly. She is picking at the skin around her fingernails until Beca takes her hand in her own and rubs her thumb over the knuckles.

“Lucy, do you want me to see if you can stay with Mrs. Reed today?” Chloe asks.  
“No, I wanna go with you guys.”

Beca looks like she’s about to protest but thinks better of it. She knows that Lucy is already waist deep in the situation. She’s dealt with more of it than Beca has at this point. So she decides that letting her tag along to the meetings and listen in on the phone calls couldn’t do more damage than what’s already been done.

 

“Your parents have decided to be cremated.” 

Greg is the funeral director at the funeral home down the street from Barden. Beca had attended a funeral there a few years ago, one of the professors from the school. She hadn’t had him as a teacher but Chloe did. They went out of respect for him and his family; Chloe’s idea of course. Beca doesn’t remember it feeling so menacing. It smells musty and the maroon carpet feels thick under her sneakers. She is sitting across from him in his office. Chloe has her hand tightly grasped in both of hers. Lucy is sitting slightly behind them. Beca can’t see her face but she can picture perfectly the confused expression on her face when she meekly asks,  
“What does that mean?”

Greg looks taken aback, he looks to the girls, hoping they don’t leave him to answer the question. Beca thinks about it but Chloe jumps in before the silence can go on for too long.

“Cremated means they don’t want their bodies buried.” Chloe says.  
“So what do they do with them?”  
“They burn them, Lou.” 

Beca turns and the look of devastation on her sister’s face is a kick to the gut.

“We’ll get their ashes. It says they want them spread on Walker’s Ledge, wherever that is.”  
“We used to go hiking there. That’s where Dad proposed.”

Beca nods and turns back around. They talk about the arrangements, pick times for the wake and funeral. Daniel had almost everything in order, pre-arranged so it makes it easier on the girls, but Beca still feels exhausted by the end of the day. When they return home there are flower arrangements, cards, and meals left scattered across the porch.

 

“We won’t have to worry about what we’ll eat for a while.” 

Chloe tries to fill the silence. She pushes a casserole into the oven before pouring two glasses of wine and joining Beca on the window seat in the corner.

“Should I go check on her?” Beca asks, chewing on her bottom lip.  
“Give her a little time. I’m sure she’s fine.”  
“You’re the one who said she shouldn't be alone.” Beca snaps.  
“I meant like all the time. She may need a little while to process everything that happened today.”  
“We all do.”

Chloe runs her fingers through Beca’s hair, she gently scratches at her scalp. Beca rests her forehead against Chloe’s shoulder and takes a few deep breaths. She feels like a rubber band about to snap. She’s being pulled in all of these new directions and she feels completely and utterly lost.

“I got a call from my dad’s lawyer today.” She says, muffled into Chloe’s shirt, “He said we have to discuss the estate and their wills. I’m meeting with him Thursday morning.”  
“The day after the funeral, that soon?”  
“He said the sooner the better. Besides, we’re going to have to get back to New York.”  
“Baby, don’t rush yourself. Theo said to take all the time you need.”  
“I know, but I don’t really want to spend any more time here than I need to. Being in this house, surrounded by their things, it makes me feel,” She shakes her head, “I don’t know. It makes me feel itchy.”

Chloe opens her mouth to speak but before she can say anything the doorbell rings. Chloe hops up to open it. On the other side, Emily is standing, shifting her weight from foot to foot. 

“Em, what are you doing here?”  
“I’m sorry, I know I should have called first, but I heard about Dr. Mitchell and I-“

She’s cut off by Chloe pulling her into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for coming.”  
“Of course, how’s Beca? And Lucy, how is she?”

Chloe pulls her gently inside. She closes the door and before she can turn around she hears Beca’s sobs. Emily pulls her into a hug and they stay, wrapped up together, for a long while. The rest of the house is silent except for Beca’s desperate inhales and sniffles.

“I’m sorry, Beca. I’m so so sorry.”  
“Thank you.”

They finally pull apart.

“How’s Lucy doing?”  
“Honestly, I don’t really know. I think she's alright.”

Emily nods and accepts the glass of wine from Chloe when they go back into the kitchen. She sips it politely but honestly she feels like she could be sick. The entire time that she’s known Beca she has always been the composed one. A little awkward at times maybe, but always too cool to show any semblance of emotion. She feels like she’s intruding but when Beca grips her hand in her own she knows that she did the right thing by showing up. She sits with them for a while, idle chatter filling the air but it feels forced.

The oven beeps, Chloe pulls out the casserole.  
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” She asks, standing on her tiptoes to reach the plates from the cabinet.  
“I can’t, I have class, but thanks.” She looks at her watch, “I should probably get going actually.”  
She gives Beca one more hug and leaves. 

 

Chloe goes up the stairs to find Lucy. She has her door closed, the same light as before pouring out from the bottom. There’s a sound that Chloe can’t quite make out until she gets closer. It’s Daniel’s voice. He’s talking excitedly about the works of Mark Twain. Chloe knocks on the door and hears a quiet, ‘Come in’ before she pushes it open.

Lucy is laying, curled up in a ball, with her laptop open. She has one of Daniel’s lectures playing. She quickly pauses it when she realizes that it’s Chloe, not Beca.  
“Sorry.”

Chloe swears there’s a slight blush on her cheeks. She waves a hand before she sits on the edge of the mattress.

“Don’t ever apologize for remembering them, any way you can.”  
“I had to break into his account to access these, since I’m not a student.”

Chloe smirks. This is the kind of behavior she’s always associated with Lucy; sly and intelligent. Normally it would be accompanied by her beaming smile, but tonight she has a look Chloe can definitively say she's never seen on her face; a look she knows she’s going to be seeing a lot of.

“Lucy, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. But there is someone who can. You’re not alone in this.”  
“I know. I just don’t really wanna talk about it. Not right now.”

Chloe notices her picking at her fingers again. The cuts are moving further down her fingers, leaving her skin an angry red color.

“Well, you don’t need to talk right now, but you do need to eat something.”

She reluctantly follows Chloe downstairs. She sits next to Beca at the table and pushes the food around on her plate. She scrunches up her face but when Chloe or Beca look at her she hides it. She doesn’t want them to force her to eat it.

The rest of the night is quiet. Beca and Chloe sit in the living room. The television is on but neither of them are paying any attention to it. Beca is zoning off, into her thoughts. Chloe doesn’t take her eyes off of her. She’s afraid that if she does, she’ll disappear altogether.   
Lucy has gone back up to her bedroom. She tries to fall asleep but every time she closes her eyes she sees her parents’ faces. Every time it gets too quiet she hears their voices. It’s enough to drive her crazy so she puts her headphones in and turns the music up until it hurts. She curls up under her blanket and evens her breathing.

 

Beca wakes up to Lucy having another nightmare. This time she’s screaming, sobbing, she’s thrashing around in her bed. Beca sits on the edge of the mattress and grips her hands so she doesn’t hurt herself.

“Lucy, wake up. Lou, wake up.”

She doesn’t calm down, she doesn’t wake up, so Beca does the next thing she can think of. She climbs into the bed, under the blankets and pulls her tightly into her chest. She settles eventually and falls back into a fitful sleep. Beca looks to Chloe who has been standing, stuck in the doorway, unaware of what she should be doing. Beca nods and Chloe walks out of the room. 

Once she hears the door down the hall close she allows her own tears to fall. She isn’t doing this alone, she knows that, but it is still going to be the hardest thing she’s ever done.


	3. Friends in Low Places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I struggled quite a bit writing this chapter. I'm still not 100% please with it but I hope you enjoy it.

For the next two nights Beca sleeps in Lucy's bed with her. She does it in hopes that it will stave off their nightmares. No such luck. Lucy's mind is stuck in an endless loop. When she's asleep all she sees is her mom in the hospital bed, fighting for her life; battered, bruised, and bloody. Her golden hair tinted red with dried blood. Her bright blue eyes surrounded by expanding black and blue, creating shadows around them. While tears sneak out from the closed lids. She hears the beeping from the heart monitor and the gasp of the ventilator. It’s rhythmic, consistent. It echoes along with the beat of her own heart.

Beca's nightmares aren't much different. Every time she closes her eyes she sees Daniel and Sheila on those metal tables. Their lifeless bodies covered by a the thin white sheet. She wills them to get up; just stand up and go home with them. Her own pulse seems to stop when she looks at them, her breathing gets ragged before it stops altogether. Her chest is too heavy. She wakes up to Lucy sound asleep on top of her.

She's been getting increasingly tired over the past few days. Whether its due to the stress, or lack of quality sleep, or both she isn't sure. She's grateful that she's able to fall asleep for a while longer.

 

Chloe wakes up around the same time; all alone in the guest bedroom. She rolls over onto her side and sighs. She checks her phone, it's only seven in the morning. She gets out of bed and dresses in leggings, a tank top, and her running shoes. She's barely had time to think, let alone get a workout in. When she was going to school here she quickly learned the morning was the best time to go for a run. There aren't too many people around and the day hasn't had enough time to really heat up.

She peeks into Lucy's room; both she and Beca are still sound asleep. She knows this is just. the beginning. They have a long road ahead of them, with a lot of uncertainty. It makes her stomach hurt and her head ache, just thinking that they’ve barely scratched the surface. But she also knows that Beca is the toughest person there is. She's been through a lot. She's built walls and constructed elaborate barriers to protect herself. The only time Chloe has ever seen them come down is when they’re alone or when she's with Lucy.

She starts her run from the house and goes through town. Not much has changed since the first time she stepped foot in Barden, almost twelve years ago. There's a small bank, the ice cream shop, three different pizza places, the liquor store, and the little boutique that never seems to have customers but somehow stays in business.

She's debating heading back to the house when her phone vibrates with a text message. It's Emily asking to meet at the café near campus. She hasn't heard from Beca so she assumes she's still asleep. It only takes about ten minutes for her to get there. Emily is sitting at one of the tables outside across from a blonde. Someone Chloe would know anywhere, even if she can’t see her face.

"Aubrey?"

She turns with a gentle smile.

"Hey Chlo."

She stands and gives her a hug. It lasts longer than normal but Aubrey can tell she needs this. She's been so busy taking care of Beca and Lucy, making sure the arrangements for the memorial service are all squared away, that she isn't taking care of herself; and there hasn’t been anyone else around to take care of her.  
“God, it’s so good to see you.”  
"How are you doing?"  
"I'm fine," She waves her off, "I'm just worried about Beca."  
"How is she holding up? I can't even imagine."  
"She's being, well, she’s being Beca. She’s pushing everything down, trying to stay focused."

Emily disappears inside. Aubrey gives Chloe the look she always used to, when she was lying or being difficult. Chloe feels like she could fall apart right at the table. Instead, she forces her gaze down into her lap and takes a deep breath.

"I don't know how to help."  
"Well, if I know you, which after twelve years I'd like to think that I do, you're doing everything just right. You just being here, that's all she needs. That’s all she’s ever needed."  
"I'm not so sure about that. They're both just so heartbroken."

Aubrey looks confused for a second before her eyes widen.

"Oh my God, Lucy. I forgot about her."

To be fair, Aubrey and Beca didn’t get off on the right foot. They weren’t exactly chummy. She graduated and wasn't around much when Beca and Chloe first started dating. She was off running the retreat. Lucy barely knows who Aubrey is, other than the stories Beca and Chloe have told her, and the few times she’s seen her perform.

"She hasn't said much, but she's been having these nightmares,” She shivers, this next thought is one she isn’t sure she’ll ever get over, “she was there that night."

Emily returns with a big coffee for Chloe, made just the way she likes it, because Emily always seemed to remember the little things like that. Chloe nods her thanks but she feels the all too familiar lump in her throat. She doesn't know if she can speak anymore.

"I was going to stop by again today," Emily starts, "to see Lou, if that's okay."  
"Of course, I'm sure she’ll be really happy to see you."

Emily, being the only Bella left in Georgia, is like another big sister to Lucy. Emily is an only child and likes the idea that she can offer some guidance to the little girl. Beca also made a point to ask Emily to keep an eye on her when she and Chloe moved to New York. They go out for dinner or go to the movies or sometimes Lucy goes to sit in on Emily's lectures.

"I've tried calling a few times but all I've gotten is a couple short texts back."  
"I'm not surprised. They've both just shut themselves off. Hopefully all of the Bellas being around will help lighten things up a bit."  
“Yeah, hopefully.”

 

There’s a knock on the door so Beca forces herself off of the couch where she has cocooned herself in a pile of blankets. She pulls it open and takes a deep breath of fresh air before she can register who is standing in front of her.  
“Hey Cap.”  
Stacie. Chloe had told her last night sometime during the nightly news that she was coming today. She didn’t think seeing her would be this hard, but one look at her face and she feels like she could break into a million pieces.   
After the USO tour all of the Bellas went their separate ways; Beca, Chloe, and Stacie went back to New York, they’ve stayed incredibly close. As for the other girls, Aubrey started her doula training in Portland. Jess, Ashley, and Cynthia Rose all moved to Los Angeles. Amy went back to Australia after the realization that she now has more money than she would ever know what to do with, and Lilly, or Esther? Well, no one’s sure where she lives, but she pops in on them from time to time.

“Oh hey, Stace.”

She hugs her and steps aside to let her in. She leads her to the kitchen. Looking around, nothing looks out of place. The house is immaculate despite the fact that none of them have had the energy to clean.

“Can I get you something to drink, or are you hungry?”  
“I could use a drink, rough flight. I’m sure you could too.”

She can hear Beca scoff into the refrigerator. She grabs two beers before she takes a seat.

“Where’s Chloe?”  
“She was gone when I woke up. She left a note, I guess she went for a run.”

Stacie nods and takes a sip of her own beer; neither of them mention the fact that its only nine in the morning. They just sit in silence for a while. Stacie observes Beca; her exhaustion is all too clear. She has bags under her eyes and she isn’t wearing any of the makeup that she usually applies right when she wakes up. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. Her hair is an unwashed mess piled into a bun on top of her head.

“Bec-”  
“Don’t. Please don’t. I know that tone. All I’ve heard for days is how sorry everyone is. It may be true but it isn’t going to change anything.”

This silences Stacie for a few minutes. She’s right, this is one thing that can’t be fixed, no matter how hard any of them tried. They sit across from each other, the occasional slosh of beer or tapping against the wood are the only sounds in the room until Stacie clears her throat and speaks again.

“The rest of the Bellas are all coming in at some point today.”  
“Yeah, Chlo mentioned that.” Something hits Beca that she hadn’t thought of before, “Where’s Bella?”  
“She’s with my parents. Getting spoiled rotten, no doubt.”

Beca smiles, just a little. She loves that baby. Stacie has come to depend heavily on Beca and Chloe. They’ve been a huge part of why she’s been able to continue to work while also being the sole parent for her daughter.

“And Lucy?”  
Beca shrugs, “She’s upstairs. She isn’t really talking. She isn’t eating. I don’t know what to do.”  
“I wish I knew what to tell you, Bec.”  
“Yeah, me too. I wish someone did.”

Stacie grips Beca’s hand and gives it a squeeze.

“Can I go see her?”  
“Yeah, of course.”

Stacie stands and presses a kiss to Beca’s temple before she walks up the stairs. The whole house is under the same eerie silence. The door to Lucy’s bedroom, she remembers is the second one on the left, is slightly open. If she didn’t know better she would assume no one was here at all. She knocks on the doorframe.

“Yeah?”

When she pushes the door open all the way, Lucy is lying sideways on her bed, facing away from the door. Stacie hasn’t seen her in person in a while, about a year. She always loved her, she was bright and smart and funny. She gave all of the girls a run for their money. Now, she isn’t sure what she’s going to be met with.

“Hey stranger.”

She rolls over with a confused expression; to a voice she recognizes right away, but wasn’t expecting to hear today. The whole process of the memorial service has overwhelmed her so she’s stopped asking questions and Beca is more than happy to keep it away from her so she doesn’t bring it up either. She is completely unaware just how many people are traveling to Georgia for it.

“Can I come in?”

Lucy nods and sits up, legs criss-crossed, arms wrapped around her torso. Stacie sits in front of her on the bed and pushes a piece of hair out of her face.

“It’s good to see you.”

Lucy bites her lip and nods.

“I wish it were for something happy.”

She pulls Lucy into a hug and she feels her whole body tense up before falling limp into her arms. They sit like that for a while. Stacie rubs her back and waits, hoping she’ll say something, anything. When it’s clear she isn’t going to, she pulls back. A pile of clothes on the floor catches her attention.

“What’s all this?”  
“I don’t know what to wear tomorrow.”

Her voice is hoarse, like she’s sick, but Stacie decides she’s probably just utterly exhausted.

“Ah, I see.” She looks through the pile, but there doesn’t seem to be anything appropriate, “You know, I think I could help you out with that. Why don’t you get ready and we’ll go get you something.”

She looks unsure but Stacie moves over and bends down in front of her.

“It might do you and your sister some good to get out of the house.”  
“Um, okay.”  
“That’s my girl.” 

 

When Chloe gets back to the house she isn't at all surprised to find it in complete silence. She closes the door behind her and kicks off her sneakers. She goes to the refrigerator and grabs a bottle of water before climbing the stairs. She peeks into Lucy's room again. It’s nearly noon, she's sure they can't still be sleeping. Her hunch is right when the bed is completely empty.

She continues down the hall and into the guest room; also empty. She grabs clean clothes and a towel, she tosses them into the bathroom but doesn't start the shower. She walks around the house but is met with nothing but empty rooms and the same silence that she is starting to build a firm disdain for.

“Bec? Beca?”

When she’s met with more silence she pulls out her phone and calls her girlfriend.

“Hey Chlo.”  
“Hi baby, where are you? Is Lou with you?”  
“Oh yeah, Stacie and I took her to get something to wear tomorrow.”

Chloe hadn’t even thought about that. Amongst the million other things on her mind, what to wear was the least of her worries.

“Oh okay, any luck?”  
Beca sighs, “Not really. Getting that kid into a dress is like getting, well, it’s like getting me in a dress.”  
“She doesn’t need to wear a dress. You’re not.”  
“Yeah, we’ll figure something out.”  
“I’ll see you when you get back. I love you.”  
“Yeah, I love you too.”

By the time Beca, Stacie, and Lucy get back to the house Chloe has enlisted the help of all of the Bellas that have arrived in Georgia. Aubrey and Emily are cleaning, CR and Ashley are moving furniture around to accommodate the number of people who are sure to come after the memorial service. Chloe and Jessica are cooking enough food for an army.  
Beca pushes the door open and stops, dead in her tracks, at the unexpected commotion. All of the girls turn, almost like they weren’t expecting her to be there.

“Oh hey, everyone.”

She feels Lucy move against her side and wrap her arms around her waist. She puts a firm hand on her back. She tries to put a smile on her face but her efforts are useless. Jessica, always warm and cheery, is the first one to give Beca a hug, followed closely by the rest of the girls. Beca holds on to Aubrey tighter and longer than the others. Even though they got off to a rocky start they have gotten close; mostly at Chloe’s insistence, at least at first. But they quickly discovered they actually have a lot more in common than either of them ever would have thought.

“They were good people, Beca. I’m so sorry.”

Beca knows everyone means well but she really wishes they would stop saying that.

“Thank you.”

Throughout the shuffle of hugs and hello’s and I’m so sorry’s, Lucy manages to sneak out of the room. She doesn’t want to see people, she doesn’t want to talk, or sleep, or eat. She just wants to sit in the quiet. 

In the very back of the house is a sunroom. There isn’t much in it, but it’s always been one of her favorite rooms in the house. It’s where the baby grand piano, the one left to Daniel by his mother, sits. Always kept polished and tuned for anyone who might want to play it. It’s the piano Daniel learned to play on, then years later Beca and Lucy both learned on.  
She sits on the bench and plays a few notes but with each key she feels her stomach muscles clench. She flips the cover down and leans her elbows against it, almost like she's trying to keep it closed against some invisible force. She puts her head in her hands and sighs.

“Hey Scout.”

It's a nickname almost everyone uses for her. But her dad is the one who started it, and hearing it for the first time since the accident makes her whole world spin.

“You okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m swell.” She bites back.  
Emily shakes her head, “Don’t do that. Don’t push me away. We don’t do that to each other, remember?”

Emily sits on the bench next to her and bumps Lucy’s leg with her own. Emily towers over her, but she’s never felt small next to her, not until this moment; not until everything in the world seems so much bigger than ever before.

“Just too many people.”  
“Yeah, I get that. The Bellas can be overwhelming.”  
“You don’t need to sit in here with me. I’m okay.”  
“I don’t believe that for a second.”

Emily, although still a little quirky and bumbling, has grown much more graceful and self-assured with age. She’s almost twenty-five and she has learned how to interact with people. She’s studied the human psyche, behavior, she’s learned what makes people tick; one person in particular. Lucy Mitchell, much like her sister, would like to believe she’s an outsider. She prides herself on individuality and independence. But Emily knows she’s also a twelve year old girl. She needs guidance, but more importantly, right now, she needs love and affection.

“You couldn’t possibly be okay.”  
“Well, I want to be.”  
“And you will be, eventually, you will. But this isn’t something you can rush.”  
“Why not?” 

Emily’s heart skips a beat when Lucy’s eyes meet her own, they’re nearly unrecognizable.

“Because doing that would be a disservice to you and to your parents.”

Lucy’s tense shoulders slump forward and her mouth falls into a deep frown, her muscles straining to stop herself from crying.

“I just don’t want it to hurt anymore.”  
“I know, sweetheart.”

Lucy leans into her side and closes her eyes. Emily’s perfume always reminds her of the warm days they’ve spent outside doing homework on campus. Every time a strong wind blew she would catch that scent. She takes a deep inhale and it calms her down.

“Em?”  
“Yeah?”  
“What’s gonna happen to me now? Like, where am I gonna live?”  
“Um, I don’t really know.”  
“I don’t want to leave Georgia.”

Emily would assume that Beca and Chloe will take her but that thought hadn’t crossed her mind. The Mitchell’s don’t have many family members, and out of the few they do have, they actually talk to a very small percentage of them.

“Look at me,” Emily says, she shifts herself so they are facing each other, “no matter what happens to you, no matter where you go from here, I will always look out for you. All of those crazies in there,” She points toward the doorway where loud voices can be heard somewhere at the other end of the house, “they’ve got your back too. You’re a Bella, Lou. That means that no matter where we go, how far apart we are, we will always be with you.”  
“Promise?”  
“I promise.” Emily stands, “You ready to go back out there?”  
“I think I’m gonna go to bed.”  
“Are you sure? It’s only five o’clock.”  
“Yeah, can you tell Beca?”  
Lucy doesn’t wait for her answer before walking out of the room and up the back staircase.

 

Later, after all of the Bellas have left, Chloe is sitting in the bed in the guest room. She’s changed and ready for sleep because she knows tomorrow is going to be a very long, exhausting day. Beca walks in and falls onto the mattress.

“She’s sound asleep.”  
“That’s good.”  
“Yeah, I guess, I just…”

Chloe pushes herself to sit up further.

“What is it?”  
“I’m just really worried about tomorrow,” She sighs, “and everything after. I don’t want this to break her.”  
“It won’t.”  
“You can’t say that. You don’t know.”

Beca’s tone is harsher than she intended but she meant it.

“No one knows. That’s what is so fucking scary about this whole thing. It’s like, life was going so good. We were getting everything we wanted and then the universe, what? The universe just decides to smack us back down because we got too happy?”  
“Beca, this isn’t a punishment. You didn’t do anything to cause this.”  
“That might be worse,” Beca pushes herself off of the bed and stands with her arms crossed over her chest, “this is just what life is now?”

The conversation falls flat. This is what life is now. This is where they are and they are going to have to fight tooth and nail for a long time to get back to the same level of happiness they had less than a week ago. Beca pulls her phone out of her pocket when it rings loudly, breaking their tense silence.

“Mom, what’s going on?”  
“I got your message,” Her mother’s voice is cross, it always is, but tonight it sounds more robotic, “I thought I should call to let you know that I am not coming tomorrow.”  
“But Mom-”  
“Rebecca, this isn’t up for debate. I allowed you to see your father and that woman as much as you wanted. I never restricted that, as much as I may have wanted to. But I don’t find myself needing to be put in the company of the people who took his side.”  
“Took his side? What are you fifteen? He’s dead, Mom. I think that warrants a little respect, don’t you?”  
“Respect? Do you think he respected me when he cheated on me with that woman and left across the country to start a new family? I don’t think so. Quite honestly, I never understood how you could forgive him for that.”

Beca runs her hand over her face. She can feel Chloe’s gaze on her but she doesn’t look at her.

“Because he’s my dad and he loves- loved me. Nobody’s perfect, but he spent a long time trying to prove how sorry he was.”  
“Well, either way, the funeral will have to go on without me.”

Beca pauses. When she speaks again her voice sounds like gravel.

“You’re really not coming? Seriously, I know you’re selfish, but this is a whole new low, even for you.”  
“Your father was a horrible man. I don’t feel the need to memorialize him or talk about him and his mistress as if they weren’t responsible for ruining my life.”  
“You’ve told me for fifteen years that dad ruined your life, and I always felt kind of sorry for you. But this just proves that you’re just as horrible as you think he is. I wouldn’t want you here anyway.”

Beca ends the call and whips her phone across the room. It puts a small indent in the wall. She walks over and picks it up.

“Shit.”

The screen is shattered. Her hands are shaking. She feels steady, warm hands on her bicep and she shudders.

“I broke it.”  
“It’s okay, we’ll get you a new one.” Chloe says, taking the phone from her hands.  
“She really isn’t coming, Chlo.”  
“I’m so sorry.”  
“I know she hates my dad. I just thought she might show up for me. Just this once.”

Chloe pulls her down to sit on the bed. She kisses her head and holds her for as long as she needs.

“Thank you, for being here, for being so wonderful.”  
“Of course, honey.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too, always.”


	4. Funeral Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to upload. Funeral scenes are hard as hell to write. I decided to split the funeral into two parts, otherwise it would have been way too long. So here is part one.

 

  
The morning of the funeral feels exactly like Beca thought it would, but also like nothing she could describe, and definitely nothing she wanted to experience ever again. When she rolls over in bed Chloe is already awake, just staring at her.

“Hey weirdo, how long have you been doing that?”  
“Not long.”  
“Chlo, I’m okay. I promise.”  
“How could you possibly be okay on a day like today?”

Beca feels like she’s cried herself out. Her and her father weren’t close by any means, but the idea that she’ll never struggle over what to get him for Christmas, or fight with him over her career choices, that he’ll never hear her first album, or meet his grandchildren, is all too much to think about. So she doesn’t. She’s been pushing it all back. She has too much to do to allow her emotions to get in the way.

“It’s okay not to be. You know that, right?”

Beca leans over and kisses her. She rolls off the bed and gathers her clothes and a towel.

“I’m gonna shower.”

Chloe lets her go. She knows anything else she says will be lost. She pushes herself out of bed. She also knows that today will require a lot of caffeine. For the most part the three of them have been living inside a bubble. Today they’re going to be forced to socialize and entertain. The whole situation is going to be thrown in their faces over and over.  
  
When she walks by Lucy’s bedroom she peeks her head in to check on her. Her and Beca have been doing this constantly for the past few days. Lucy’s barely spoken a word and they’re afraid of what she might do if left alone for too long. When the door opens, Lucy is sitting on her bed, she’s already in the clothes her and Chloe picked out; black dress pants and a short sleeved button up shirt, her mother’s favorite shade of gray. Her hair is still wet from the shower. Chloe isn’t sure how she didn’t hear the water running but she pushes her thoughts aside. Lucy doesn’t even look up at the squeak of the door or the presence of someone in the doorway. She looks a million miles away and like she doesn’t exist all at once.

“Hey you.”

Nothing.

“Lucy, are you alright?”

This time she does look up at her. Part of Chloe wishes she hadn’t because her expression is enough to break her heart. She isn’t crying but she looks like she could any second. She’s holding something in her fist; she wouldn’t have noticed it but whatever it is catches the light and forces Chloe’s eyes to her hands. She sits down next to her and examines the cuts on her fingers. She keeps picking at them and making them worse, despite Beca’s many warnings.   
Chloe decides now, today, isn’t the time to bring it up.

“Whatcha got there?”  
“It was my grandma’s; my mom got it when she died. She always said it would be mine when she…”  
“It’s beautiful.”

She hands it to Chloe. It’s a simple silver chain with a small diamond. Lucy lifts her hair so Chloe can fasten it around her neck.

“What’s gonna happen today?”

Chloe looks at her, a little confused at first, then she realizes what she’s actually asking.

“You’ve never been to a funeral before?”

She shakes her head. Chloe didn’t think there was any way to make today worse, but this does.

“Well, we’re going to go to the funeral home and the Chaplin from the church in town has agreed to say a few words and a couple prayers. Then they’ll open it up to anyone who wants to say anything about Daniel and She- your parents. Since they’re not being buried, that’ll pretty much be it. Then people will come back here for food and stuff.”  
“Do I have to say anything?”  
“Not if you don’t want to.”  
“Is Beca going to?”  
Chloe nods, “She is, but that doesn’t mean you need to.”

It’s quiet for a minute before Lucy moves to dig through a drawer in her desk. She pulls out a piece of paper.

“I wrote them a letter. Do you think I could read it?”  
“I think that’s a great idea.”

The look on her face reminds Chloe just how young she is. At twelve years old she has already lost way more than Chloe has. She has to live with a gaping hole in her life, knowing exactly what’s missing but never being able to replace it.

“Can I ask you one more favor?”  
“Of course, anything.”

Lucy shifts from one foot to the other. It’s something Beca does too; when she’s nervous or thinking too much.

“Could you curl my hair?” Chloe smiles, “The way you do to yours. My mom did it once for me and she loved it, so I thought-”  
“Of course I can.”

Such a simple request but she might as well have been asking for a million dollars the way she was acting. Another way she and Beca are alike; independent, sometimes to a fault.

“First let me make some coffee before Beca turns into a literal monster. We’ll finish getting ready a little later. We don’t need to leave for a while.”

Lucy follows Chloe downstairs and around the kitchen like a puppy. Chloe makes up a plate of scrambled eggs and fruit. She knows full well that Lucy isn’t going to eat any of it, but she’s not going to stop trying. Beca walks downstairs in her black pants and black button up. She’s still barefoot, avoiding putting her heels on until the last possible second. If it were any other occasion Chloe would comment on how beautiful she looks, but it doesn’t feel right. She walks right over to the coffeemaker and pours herself a very full cup. She takes a big sip while eyeing Lucy and her plate.

“Eat, Lou. I’m serious.”

She tries her best for a strict tone, but today of all days doesn’t seem like the time to buckle down on Lucy’s avoidance of food. Beca doesn't feel much like eating either but she’s decided to lead by example. She forces down almost half of the food on her plate before she needs to give up.

Chloe disappears to shower. The other two sit in silence. The clock on the wall ticks, grating on Beca’s very thin patience. She scrapes her nail along the smooth side of her mug. She’s trying to think of something, anything, to break the quiet. She leans across the table and takes Lucy’s hand in her own to stop her from picking at her nails. She’s tempted to duct tape oven mitts on her hands like her mom had threatened to do to her when she had chicken pox.

“You know there’s going to be a lot going on today; a lot of people.”  
“Yeah, I know,” Her voice sounds foreign, Beca hasn’t heard much of it for the past few days. “Chloe told me what’s gonna happen.”

Beca, not for the first time in the past few days, silently thanks God for Chloe Beale. She’s handled this whole situation with way more grace than Beca could have ever imagined.

“I went to my first funeral when I was around your age. It was for my mom’s mom.”  
“Were you scared?”  
“A little bit I guess. It was weird seeing all of the people I love so sad.”  
“I don’t like seeing you sad.”

Beca smiles, an awkward half-smile.

“I hate seeing you sad, too. Are you scared about today?”  
“A little, I guess. It’s just,” She shrugs, “this doesn’t end it. It’s not like the funeral is gonna happen and everything is gonna be okay. It’s just the first thing in a long line where I have no idea what’s gonna happen.”  
“I know exactly what you mean.” Beca agrees.

Lucy eyes her suspiciously, like she’s simply placating her.

“So, I guess we just need to promise each other something.”  
“What?”  
“That we’ll take it one step at a time, together. We’ll help each other as much as we can along the way.”  
“Bec, do you think we’re gonna be okay?”

Beca sighs. This is the same question she’s been asking herself all week.

“I think so. Someday. I hope.”  
“Hey Lou,” Chloe interrupts, “are you ready to do your hair?”

Beca follows them up into the guest bedroom where they’ve been staying. Lucy sits on the carpet in front of the floor length mirror. Chloe moves around her, curling her light brown hair into perfect spiral curls. She pulls the sides back into a half-up hairstyle. She presses her hands gently to her head, and kisses her hair.

“All set, sweetheart.”

Beca has always been grateful for the way Chloe took to Lucy. The first time they met, Lucy was only three. It was Beca’s freshman year at Barden. Daniel and Sheila had taken Lucy to one of the Bellas’ performances and all of the girls fell in love with her instantly. She became a sort of mascot for them; cheering them on at every event, wearing a tiny Bellas’ t-shirt, and, most importantly, softening Beca. Chloe had become infatuated with the little girl. She loved how much she acted like Beca. Although since then, they’ve grown more and more different; their similarities only fleeting in small moments.

When Beca and Chloe moved to New York Lucy was seven. They’ve spent much more time apart than they have together. But when they did get to see each other, on holidays and other special occasions, Lucy was adamant that Chloe come too, which she did gladly.

Beca watches the way she does everything with care. Echoing her physical gentleness with her soft voice and softer eyes.  
“You look beautiful.”

 

  
Lucy stands in front of the funeral home. It’s more menacing than she remembers it being a few days ago. Beca puts her hand on her back.

“We can do it.”

Lucy takes a deep breath and nods.

When they get inside Lucy stays close to Beca’s side. Greg is there, looking solemn in his gray suit. He shakes Beca and Chloe’s hands and gives a gentle nod to Lucy. She dips her head lower and puts her gaze on the same maroon carpet that lines the floor in his office. She shifts her weight from foot to foot.

“It looks great in here. Thank you.” Beca says.

On a table at the front of the room, there are two glassy black boxes; they look like music boxes. One with Daniel’s name, the other with Sheila’s on small silver plaques. Lucy fights the gurgling in her stomach when she realizes her parents are inside them. They are surrounded by flower arrangements, some with sashes, some with cards. On either end of the table are Daniel and Sheila’s high school portraits. In the middle of the boxes, their wedding photo is placed on a metal stand. Underneath it, there is a photo of Sheila, Daniel, Beca, and Lucy from Beca’s college graduation. It’s one of the few they could find of the four of them.

“That’s a nice photo.” Stacie says, walking up behind them.

Beca hadn’t realized she was there. Stacie wasn’t at the house this morning when they woke up but she just assumed she went for a morning run or something. She turns to look her in the eyes. She gives a tight lipped smile and lets herself get pulled into a hug.

“It’s all too hard to believe.”  
“I can’t even imagine, Bec.”

There are tall candles lit all around and the atmosphere, even for a funeral home, is dismal. It’s dark and cold, considering it’s Georgia in the summertime; a mood fit for the day.

“Hey short stack.”  
“Hi Stacie.”  
“How are you doing?”

Lucy shrugs and lets herself get pulled into a hug. She knows she’s going to be doing a lot of that today so she mentally prepares herself. She notices Emily walk through the door and wastes no time rushing over to her. Emily wraps her tightly in her arms and kisses her temple. Lucy wants to cry, she wants to scream, she wants to do something but instead she just leans into Emily’s warmth.

More familiar voices start to fill the room. Men in gray and black suits, women in black and gray dresses. Dressed nicely, as if Daniel and Sheila could see them, like they would care what they’re wearing. She walks back over to Beca and Chloe and watches the trail of people file through, shaking hands and offering apologies as if it could fix what’s been broken.

“Beca, Lucy, how are you holding up, dears?” Mrs. Reed asks, she’s one of the few people in the room that sound genuine in asking.

She has that same cracked smile, the same warm eyes that Beca is starting to recognize as her usual appearance. It gives her a comforted feeling that Lucy has grown up next door to someone so kind.

“We’re doing as well as expected.”  
“I’m sure you are.”

She rests her shaky hand on Beca’s cheek before holding Lucy’s hand and giving it a quick squeeze. She moves on, not wanting to hold up the line, but both girls wish she didn’t have to go.

The receiving line before the funeral feel like they drag on forever. Beca wishes it would end but when Greg tells them it’s time to start the service she wishes that they didn’t have to. She takes her seat in the front row of chairs between Chloe and Lucy. Chloe grips her hand tightly in her own and Lucy leans against Beca’s side.

Greg welcomes everyone and thanks them for coming before introducing the Chaplin. He’s an older man with gentle features. Beca can only assume he’s done this a million times based on his neutral expression and lack of nervousness in his appearance. He speaks about Daniel and Sheila with kind words but Beca knows it’s all for show. They didn’t know him, he didn’t know them, but still, it’s nice.

“Now I would like to ask Beca, Daniel and Sheila’s eldest daughter, to come up and say a few words.”

Beca looks to Chloe who offers a reassuring nod and a small smile before letting go of her hand. Beca walks up to the small podium and takes a deep breath. She can’t stop herself from shaking but she assumes no one would blame her. She places her piece of paper on the podium and smooths it out a few times before speaking.

“My dad and I, we uh, we didn’t agree on much. We never really understood each other. The one thing we always seemed to have in common though was books. He taught me from a really young age to love reading, to learn as much as I could from books; something I know he’s taught Lucy too. Growing up, I didn’t have a lot of friends except the ones I found in the books he gave me. When he met Sheila, one of the first things she and I talked about was books. Literature was their whole lives. Well that, me, and Lucy.”

She risks a quick look at her sister. She is leaning into Chloe’s side, looking down into her lap. A tear falls onto her bare knee but she doesn’t move to wipe it away.

“There’s a quote from one of the last books he gave me, it goes, ‘Sometimes we get sad about things and we don’t like to tell other people that we are sad about them. We like to keep it a secret. Or sometimes, we are sad but we really don’t know why we are sad, so we say we aren’t sad but we really are.’ But today, we’re all sad about the same thing. There’s no hiding it. No pretending. My dad and Sheila were good people. And it seems, lately, that the world is losing a lot of those. Thank you all for coming. I know it would mean a lot to them, and it means a lot to me.”

She walks back over and takes the seat on the other side of Lucy. She moves back into Beca’s side. Chloe squeezes Beca’s arm and gives her a tightlipped smile when she looks up at her.

“Would anyone else like to say a few words?”

Lucy grabs at her pants. She reaches into the pocket but she doesn’t feel the crinkle of paper she’s expecting. Chloe and Beca both look over to her.

“What’s wrong?” Beca asks.  
“I don’t have my letter. I lost it.” Lucy says, suddenly finding it very difficult to stay quiet.  
“Are you sure you didn’t just leave it at home?”  
“No, I put it in my pocket before we left the house and now it isn’t there.”

Tears leak out of her eyes and Chloe puts her hand on her knee.

“It’s okay, we’ll find it.”  
“I won’t get to read it.”

Beca leans in closer, kisses her temple, and whispers.

“They know, Lou. They know all of it. It’s okay.”

Lucy falls into sobs. Chloe gestures for the Chaplin to keep going. They wrap up the service and he announces that there will be a small reception back at the Mitchell house. Chloe helps them get the urns to the car along with the flowers. Beca sits with Lucy, still crying almost completely in her lap now.

“Chlo, you should go, people are going to be at the house-”  
“It’s okay,” Chloe sits down down next to them and rubs Lucy’s back, “Stacie and Aubrey are there, they said no rush.”

It takes a while for Lucy to calm down. When they get her into the car, she slumps over in the back seat and leans her forehead against the window. Chloe drives slowly, she knows being in the car makes Lucy nervous now, understandably so. Beca keeps looking back at her but she knows they aren't going to get another word out of her.

When they get to the house, Lucy rushes past both of them into the back of the house. She sits at the piano and sighs. She smacks the wooden key cover and lets a few more tears drip out of her eyes. She stops when she notices a figure standing in the doorway.

“Hi Lucy.” Officer Fields says, he gives an awkward wave.  
“Oh, uh, hi.”

He gestures toward the chair near the bookshelf in the corner and she nods. He moves over and sits down, perched on the edge as if he is planning a quick getaway.

“I think this belongs to you.”  
He pulls out a folded piece of paper from his breast pocket. It has a pink heart drawn on it.  
“How did you-”  
“It was on the ground in the driveway. Don’t worry, I didn’t read it. Just enough to know it’s yours.”

She takes it from him and unfolds it.

“It would be okay if you did. I wrote it for my parents the night after they died. I was gonna read it today but then I guess I dropped it.”  
“It’s not too late.”  
“Yes it is. The funeral’s over.”  
“So?”

He shrugs and runs his hand over his hair. She realizes now that this is the first time she’s seeing him out of uniform. He seems much more human out of the brown and khaki button up.

“People will say stuff like, I never got to say goodbye, or they’ll never know how I feel, but that’s all crap.”

She looks up at him wide eyed. There’s a knowingness in his voice that sends shivers up her spine.

“It’s never too late to let the people you love know you love them. But I can tell that they know you love them.”  
“Knew.”  
“Know,” He says firmly, “they’re a part of you, for as long as you live they'll be around.”

He stands with a little huff.

“I have to get to work but I just wanted to come and check in. You and your sister are going to be just fine.”  
“How can you tell?”  
“Well, for starters, I met some girls out there, the Bellas?”

Lucy scoffs and nods.

“You have a lot of people out there, still very much alive, that love you and Beca very much. You’ll be just fine.”  
“Thank you, Officer.”  
“Tucker. You have my number if you need me for anything.”

He gives her a quick wink and walks out of the room. She watches him go. She’s not sure what to think of the man. She isn’t sure that she’ll ever see him again but she’s thankful for him nonetheless.

 

 


	5. Funeral Part Two

“Beca?”

She turns to the familiar voice. She’s taken into a hug before she can even realize what is happening. The scent and the arms around her waist tell her exactly who it is.

“Hey Jesse.”  
“I’m so sorry I’m late. I tried to get here for the service but-”  
“It doesn’t matter, you're here now. Thank you so much for coming.”  
“Of course, are you kidding?”

They pull apart and he gives Chloe a hug. She’s been busy making sure there is enough food and drinks set out. She’s also making sure that Beca is alright, because despite how many times she's said it, Chloe knows she’s not okay.

“Where’s Benji?”  
“He couldn’t make it. He really wanted to be here but something came up at the studio and-”  
“No, it’s okay. I get it. How’s everything going at work?”  
“It’s alright,” He shrugs, “crazy busy but you know how that is.”  
“Yeah. Not so much right now.”

Benji and Jesse started an independent film company and have since built their own little empire. In another life, Beca couldn’t help but think they could have been a great couple, but her heart knew what it wanted, and that is and always will be Chloe Beale.

“When do you need to be back in the city?”  
“Theo said for me to take as much time as I need. But all I really want to do is go back and make music again. There’s just a lot I need to figure out here first.”

Jesse doesn’t know what else to say. He has no idea what he would do if one day both of his parents were just gone. He puts a hand on her arm and gives it a squeeze.

“Hey Em.”  
Beca catches her arm when she walks by with several empty glasses.  
“Have you seen Lucy? She kind of disappeared after we got back.”  
“I haven’t. I’ll take a look around.”  
“Okay, thanks.”

Some of the other Bellas come over and start talking to Jesse about work and his new girlfriend. Beca pretends to be listening but her eyes are floating around the room, looking for her sister. Looking around, she realizes how many people she doesn’t know. Her lack of a relationship with her father for so long isolated her from a support system she could have had. She tries not to think about it too much.   
Instead she starts to make her rounds. She thanks everyone for coming and makes small talk with a few of them; she’s well versed in idle chatter after several years in the music industry. A few years ago she wouldn’t be caught dead in a conversation she didn’t want to have. But now, as an adult, as the adult in this situation, she knows she’s going to be doing a lot of things she doesn’t want to do.

“Beca?”  
She turns her attention to a woman, around her parents’ age. She is blonde and tall, really beautiful.  
“Hi, I know you don’t know me, my name is Rachel Pierce.”  
“Pierce? As in, Sheila Pierce?” Beca asks, shaking her hand.  
“Sheila was my cousin.”  
“Oh, I’m,” She pauses, not really sure what to say in this situation, “sorry for your loss.”  
“Thank you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and poor Lucy.”  
“Yeah, it’s been harder than I could have ever imagined.”

They stand in silence for a minute. Beca wants to walk away but the conversation, for one reason or another, doesn’t seem like it’s over. She’s proven right when Rachel starts talking again; much quieter this time.

“So, what’s going to happen to Lucy?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Is she going to move in with you? I can’t imagine a kid would fit into your lifestyle.”  
Beca quirks an eyebrow, “What does that mean?”  
“Oh, nothing,” She puts her hands up, “just that having a child changes everything. I have three of my own.”

Beca looks over Rachel’s shoulder for Chloe but she’s nowhere in sight.

“I’m not sure what Daniel and Sheila specified in their will, but I would be more than happy to take Lucy in. She could get to know her cousins. We live in Tennessee so there wouldn’t be too much of a culture shock. She could homeschool with my kids, we have tons of land and animals. I think she would fit in nicely.”  
“You want to take my sister?”  
“Take her? Of course not, she’s not a dog. I just think she would be happier with us.”

Beca fixes her shirt and puts a fake smile back on her face.

“I’m not so sure about that, but thanks, I guess.”

She walks away and takes a deep breath. She hadn’t thought too far ahead about where Lucy would be and how she would affect her and Chloe’s life in New York, but now that it’s being threatened she knows she needs to do something about it fast.

 

Lucy can’t bring herself to move from her spot at the piano. She feels frozen, stuck. 

“You play?”

She turns to see Jesse; one of her sister’s best friends outside of the Bellas. He gestures to the piano.

“My dad taught me.”  
“Your dad?” He asks, a little shocked.  
“Beca had to get all that musical talent somewhere, right?” She asks, with a shrug.  
“I guess I never thought about it.”  
“He was an intellectual. Piano was a part of that I guess; along with the incessant talking about books and art and world news. It was exhausting.”

He smirks when he sees the ghost of a smile on her own lips.

“That’s where you get all your smarts from?” 

She quirks an eyebrow. He takes a seat next to her on the piano bench and plunks a couple keys.

“Beca says you’re some kind of genius.”  
“She embellishes.”  
“I don’t know. You’re twelve and using words like embellish. I think she could be on to something. Your mom was smart too, huh?”  
“The smartest.”  
“I wish I had known her.”

Jesse, idly, starts to play the piano. He has a hard time being in front of an instrument and not playing it. It’s a beautiful melody, something vaguely familiar but she can’t place it. She watches his hands effortlessly move up and down the keys creating something so gorgeous with ease.

“Your sister was looking for you, by the way.”  
“Yeah, I figured. I just don’t really want to go out there.”  
“I get that. Funeral’s are nobody’s favorite thing. What do you say we hang out in here until people start to leave?”  
“Yes please.”

He gestures toward the keys and she starts to play. He recognizes it immediately; it’s one of Beca’s songs. He joins in and they play a few more just to pass the time.

 

It takes a while for everyone to clear out. Everyone except the Bellas, that is. The girls help to clean up; the dishes are cleared, the food is put into Tupperware containers for the rest of the week, and all of the furniture is put back where it belongs. 

They end up in the back yard around the fire pit. The day ended up to be sunny but cool for the time of year. It is now evening, the fire pit in the backyard has been lit and all of the Bellas are sitting around it.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Beca says, from her place in Chloe’s arms. They are wrapped up in a blanket in one of the large canvas camping chairs.  
“What?” Chloe asks.  
“That stupid retreat you made us go on.”

All of the girls laugh and Chloe nudges Beca so that she almost falls out of the chair.

“That was fun.”  
“For who?” Stacie asks.  
“Well, I had fun.”  
“I got stuck in a tree.” Beca says.

The tone feels lighter, Beca actually laughs for the first time in a week and she feels her chest loosen; even if it’s just for tonight. She has her family with her and she knows that when it comes down to it they will always be there for her.

“Hey Lou, where you been?” Beca asks when she sees her sister come out of the house.  
“She’s been showing me her piano skills.” Jesse says brightly, grabbing a beer from the cooler and taking a seat next to Stacie.  
“Yeah, she’s good, right?” Beca says.

Lucy takes a seat on the stump next to Beca and Chloe’s chair, Emily on her other side, and sighs. She’s finally changed out of her funeral clothes into leggings and an oversized sweatshirt; one Beca recognizes as Sheila’s. Chloe runs her hand through her long curls and gives her a gentle smile. There’s a long pause, not an uncomfortable silence, maybe even a welcomed one. The crackling of the fire, the few birds that are still chirping, and the traffic from the street in the distance are the only sounds.

“It was a nice service, Bec.” Jessica says.  
“Thanks. I thought so too.”   
“So, Lucy, you’re in, what, sixth grade?” Aubrey asks.  
“Seventh.” She says, meekly.  
“She skipped a grade.” Beca says, always ready to brag about her little sister.  
“What’s your favorite subject?”   
“Science or English. I like to read.”

Beca watches her almost curl into herself. She was always so confident, she could talk the paint off a wall. It hurts her to see this happening to her and she hopes, more than anything, that one day she will come out of this. She leans over and whispers to Beca.

“Can I go to bed?”  
“Already?” Chloe asks, this time more concerned, she’s been sleeping a lot, “It’s early.”  
“Yeah, I’m tired.”  
“Today was a long day,” Beca says with a nod, “go ahead. I’ll come check on you in a bit.”  
Lucy nods, “Okay. Good night.”  
“Good night. I love you.” Beca kisses her temple.

She’s met with a chorus of ‘good nights’ and ‘sleep tights’ as she hurries into the house and upstairs.

“Poor kid.” Jesse says.  
“She’ll be okay.” Beca says, but her tone is completely unconvincing.  
“Of course she will.” Chloe says, looking at the other girls to join in, which of course they do.

The rest of the night gives Beca the distraction she needs because tomorrow she meets with her parents’ lawyer. She sleeps in Lucy’s bed again when she wakes up with nightmares. 

When she wakes up, she is met with Lucy, already awake, laying on her side, staring at her.

“Hi, I’m thinking I should start getting used to waking up like this.”  
“What?”  
“Nevermind,” Beca pushes herself up, “are you alright?”  
“I want to go to the meeting with you today.”  
“Oh Lou, I don’t think-”  
“Come on, really?”

Beca climbs out of the bed and Lucy follows, right on her heels. Beca and Chloe had talked about this, they both decided that she should stay home.

“You’re going to stay here with Stacie and Emily.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I guarantee you will have a better time here than you would there. We aren't going to decide anything without you, you know that right?”

Lucy shrugs.

“He’s just going to tell me what is in the will and a few other details and I will tell you anything you want to know after that. I promise.”  
“Fine.”

 

Beca knocks on the big, heavy wooden door. She hears a muffled, ‘come in’ so she pushes it open. The whole room is filled with dark wood and leather furniture. The entire back wall is filled with thick, impressive looking books. The man at the desk is Jack Grayson. He’s around her father’s age, someone he’s known for a long time. Beca has met him a few times at her father’s house.

“Beca, please come in.” He stands and shakes her hand, “Make yourself comfortable.”  
“Thank you, this is my girlfriend, Chloe.”

He takes her hand and gestures toward the other seat.

“Nice to meet you.”

Once they’re all seated, he speaks, professionally, but there is still a hint of sadness to his tone.

“So, you’re father and step-mother had everything pretty well set in place which is a good thing. That means there’s less work for you.”  
“What kinds of things?” Beca asks, she really has no idea.  
“Well, for starters, the house was left in your name, so that means you can do what you want with it. You can stay here and live in it or sell it, that’s one hundred percent up to you. As for their financials, they also left you in charge of that.”  
“Great.” She grumbles, trying her best to mask the bubbling anxiety in her stomach.  
“As you know, your parents were well off. You already have access to your trust fund, of course, but your sister’s is set aside until she turns twenty-one. They’ve created a sort of allowance system, for Lucy’s expenses: school, clothes, food, anything else she may need.”  
“Okay.”

Chloe looks at the expression on Beca’s face. She’s focused, trying her best to follow along and not get too overwhelmed. Chloe holds out her hand and Beca grips it in both of hers, as if trying to anchor herself down.

“Then of course, most importantly is the issue of custody in regards to Lucy. In both of their wills you are named the guardian in this case.”

Beca lets out a puff of air. She knew, somewhere in the back of her mind, that this was the logical move. She figured that her parents would give Lucy to her in the case that anything happened to them but they had never said that to her, in true Daniel and Sheila fashion, they never asked her.

“That does not mean you need to take her. It may be difficult but there are people out there that are willing and able to take care of her if you can’t. No judgement.”

Beca’s eyes don’t raise above the floor. She blinks a few times and everything seems to slow down. She feels Chloe’s fingers move in her grip and she lifts her head up to look into her eyes.

“Baby?” Chloe sounds like she’s underwater.  
“Um, right, yeah. Uh, do I have to let you know right now?”   
“Of course not. Take the day and give me a call. I want you to be absolutely sure about this. As soon as you are, one way or the other, I will draw up the paperwork and we can work it all out.”  
“Okay.”

He gives her all the paperwork that she will need to keep track of the rest of her sudden responsibilities. She shakes his hand again and follows Chloe out the door, to the car. Neither of them say anything throughout the car ride. Chloe knows that Beca needs to think on it, she needs a few minutes to wrap her mind around this. She just focuses on the road. She tightens and loosens her grip on the steering wheel until they pull into the driveway. The radio stops and the engine cuts off and they are left in nearly complete silence.

“I can’t take care of her.” Beca says, suddenly.  
“You take care of her all the time.”  
“Yeah, like I take her bowling and feed her too much pizza and then I send her home. I can’t raise a kid. I can barely take care of myself.”  
“She’s twelve, Bec. She’s basically raised.”  
“I don’t know. I can’t ask you to-”  
“You’re not asking me to do anything.”

Beca wants to fight. The way she does with everything else but she’s just too tired. She unbuckles her seatbelt and sighs. Chloe’s voice is quieter but still determined.

“Besides, I don’t see any other choice. She’s your sister, she needs you.”

Beca nods, slowly, letting each word sink in.

“And if you don’t take her in she’ll get sent into the system and then you have no say in what happens to her.”  
“Maybe not.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I didn’t tell you this because I didn’t want to freak you out, but something happened at the funeral.”  
“What?”  
“Uh,” She runs her hand over the back of her neck, “Sheila’s cousin asked me if I was going to take Lucy.”  
“What did you say?’  
“I didn’t know what to say. But she basically offered to adopt her.”  
“And you told her to shove it, right?”

Beca hesitates. She should have. She wanted to, kind of. But there was another side of her that was almost grateful for this woman.

“I’m scared.”  
“I know, but you aren’t doing it alone.” Chloe grabs her hand and brings it to her mouth to kiss her knuckles, “We’ll figure it out.”  
“I know that, but there’s still this gnawing feeling, like, if I mess this up then it all falls on me.”  
“She’s your sister and you love her. That’s all that matters.”  
“It isn’t though. It’s so much more than that.”

There’s a long silence. Beca picks at the back of her sneaker that is now propped up on the seat.

“I guess I have a lot to think about before I give Jack an answer.”

When they walk into the house Emily and Stacie have Lucy in the kitchen playing cards at the table. She looks like she just got out of the shower.

“Hey guys, how’d it go?” Emily asks.

Lucy looks down at her cards, still listening but trying to feign a look of disinterest.

“Good. A lot of stuff I knew already but it was just weird hearing it out loud.”

Beca grabs two beers from the fridge and puts one in front of Chloe while popping open the other one. She takes a big swig before taking the space next to Lucy in her chair. She leans into Beca and sighs. Beca points to a card and Lucy nods before placing it down.

“Is Lucy kicking your ass?” Beca asks with a smirk.  
“Yeah, but to be fair, we have no idea the rules to this game.” Stacie says.  
“That’s cause we made it up when Lou was like four and the rules haven’t changed.”

Lucy went through a phase where all she would play were games that she would make up herself. Some of them stuck, like this card game, creatively called ‘cards’, while others fell by the wayside. Lucy grabs the stack of cards in the middle and hands them to Emily who puts them back in her hand.

“That’s my girl.” Beca scoffs and kisses Lucy’s head, “Deal me in, I’m just going to change.”

Chloe follows her upstairs and they both change into more comfortable clothes. 

“We need to talk to her, Bec.”  
“I know, but it can wait until tonight. I’m going to bring Stacie to the airport and grab dinner with Luce. I’ll talk to her then.”  
“Do you want me to go?”  
Beca shakes her head, “No, that’s okay. Why don’t you go out with Aubrey and Emily, or something? Try to have a little fun.”  
“It doesn’t seem right to be having fun right now.”  
“We have to start eventually, right?” Beca asks, pulling Chloe into her arms and kissing her shoulder, “Why not now?”  
“Okay, if you’re sure.”  
“One hundred percent. Now let’s get downstairs so I can school you in cards.”  
“In your dreams, Mitchell.”


	6. Let It Be Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient with this story! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Is enjoy the right term for something so damn depressing? I have no clue. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me.

  
“I have to admit, I was a little surprised when you asked us to come out tonight.” Aubrey says, taking a sip of her martini.  
“Beca pretty much forced my hand.” Chloe smiles, “She said it’s time we start trying to be happy again.”

Her heart isn’t in being out. She wants to be with Beca and Lucy, but she also knows Beca is right. They have to start taking steps toward normalcy at some point and the longer they wait the worse it will be.

“How is she doing?”  
“She’s a ball of stress, not that I can blame her.”  
“You met with the lawyer today, right?”  
Chloe nods, “He said Beca has been left in charge of their financials and has been granted custody of Lucy, if she chooses to take it.”  
“Which she’s going to.” Aubrey says, sounding very sure of herself.

When Chloe doesn’t answer she lifts an eyebrow and puts her drink down.

“Why don’t you look sure about that?”  
“She isn’t reacting the way I thought. I figured that it wouldn’t even be a question, you know? Lucy is her blood, I just thought she would come back to the city with us and we would figure out the rest of it.”  
“She doesn’t want to take her.”  
“I think she’s just scared. You know Beca, she needs to be told over and over again how amazing and capable she is before she believes it.”  
“Is that really the way you want to go into raising a child?”  
“I don’t see any other way.”

Their conversation is broken by Emily walking into the bar and sitting down on the other side of Chloe, placing a kiss on her cheek.

“Hey Em.”  
“Hey, sorry my lecture ran long.”  
“No problem, we ordered you a drink, we figured you could use it.” Chloe slides her glass over to her.  
“I definitely can. What are we talking about?”

Aubrey opens her mouth to say something but Chloe speaks first.

“Nothing important. What was your lecture about?”

  
Beca tries not to notice how Lucy checks her seatbelt three times or how tightly she grips the handle on the door when the car starts and stops. She understands why cars are not Lucy’s favorite place to be but if she thinks about it too much she will make herself a nervous wreck. She doesn’t drive often anymore, not since she moved to the city, and after all of this she’s thankful for it.

“Chloe didn’t want to come for my big send off?” Stacie asks, breaking the silence in the car.  
“I told her to go do something fun.”  
“With Aubrey? Yeah good luck with that.”

They share a light laugh and Beca flips on her directional to turn onto the highway. It’s about an hour to the airport from Barden. Lucy looks out the window, her forehead against the cool glass while she watches the passing buckeye trees.

“When do you go back to work?” Beca asks.  
“Tomorrow night. I’m on call all week in the ER on top of my regular office hours so it should be interesting.”  
“What about Bella?”  
“She’ll be with my parents. Don’t worry about us, Bec. You have enough to think about right now.”

Lucy’s eyes flicker to the front seat to see Beca’s reaction. She doesn’t look back at her but her shoulders tense and she can see her knuckles whiten against the steering wheel.

“Yeah, we should be back in the city soon enough.”

Lucy’s cheeks get hot and her heart beats a little faster. She isn’t sure if that ‘we’ includes her or not and she’s too afraid to ask.

A majority of the car ride is in silence. The radio is on quietly but the whooshing of the passing cars almost completely drowns it out. Rain starts to lightly patter against the windshield.

“Alright, this is my gate.”

Stacie hops out of the car and walks over to Lucy’s rolled down window. She leans down and speaks softly to her.

“I’ll see you soon, stranger.”  
“Yeah.” She says, not actually sure if she’s right.  
“Watch out for your sister, alright?”  
“I will.”

Stacie leans in and kisses her cheek. She gives her a smile before she takes her bag that Beca has gotten out of the trunk. They hold each other tight for a couple minutes. Beca wants to cry, she wants to never let her go because having the Bellas with her has given her some fake sense of security. She feels it too suddenly being torn away from her and she holds onto Stacie tighter.

“I’ll see you soon, Bec. I love you.”  
“I love you too.”  
“You’re amazing, don’t forget that.”  
“I won’t.” Beca smirks, “See you soon, Dr. Conrad.”

Stacie walks into the airport and Beca watches her go. She leans down to speak to Lucy through the window.

“You wanna move up into the passenger’s seat, Miss Daisy?”  
“I’m good here.”

Beca doesn’t push. She climbs back into the driver’s seat and puts the car in drive. She maneuvers through the frustratingly confusing streets of the airport and starts toward home.

“Where do you wanna stop for dinner?”  
“I’m not hungry.”

Beca gives her a look in the rearview mirror.

“Well, I’m starving, so if you don’t care, I’ll pick.”

Lucy shrugs and Beca keeps driving until she sees a sign for a small diner right off the highway. She pulls into the dirt parking lot and waits until she hears Lucy’s seatbelt unfasten before she gets out of the car.

Beca slides into the booth and watches Lucy slide in across from her. She watches the waitress pour coffee for the guy sitting at the counter. Despite having lived in the south for four years, she always suffers a bit of culture shock when she comes back. It’s a truck stop diner typical of any mid-budget indie film but it has its charm she supposes. The waitress comes over, she has a pen stuck through her high bun, her apron is askew but she has a kind smile and a gentle voice; not at all what Beca was expecting.

“What can I get for you ladies?” She gives a quick look to Lucy but her question is directed to Beca.  
“How’s your coffee?”  
“It’s sludge, but it’ll keep you awake.”  
“Perfect, I’ll take the biggest cup you have,” She opens her menu, “and a cheeseburger.”  
“And for you darlin’?”  
“A water please.”  
“And to eat?”  
“She’ll have a turkey club.” Beca interjects.

The waitress smiles, collects the menus and walks away.

“Chloe’s gonna kill you for ordering that.”  
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

Lucy shrugs and slides further down in her seat. The waitress comes back with their drinks.

“Food’ll be out in a bit.”

Beca smiles at her and she continues on her way to the guy at the counter.

“So are you ever gonna tell me what Jack said?”  
“That’s why we’re here.”  
“I thought you were starving.”  
“Nah,” Beca takes a sip of her coffee, “oh, she wasn’t kidding, that’s disgusting.”

Lucy looks at her in disbelief. Her sister can be frustratingly elusive.

“Beca.”  
“Okay, okay, sorry. I guess I’m still processing.”  
“That bad, huh?” Lucy says, spinning her straw around in her cup.  
“No, I just, I’m not built for this, you know?”  
“No one is. So the question is are you gonna buck up and deal with it or not?”

Beca is taken by surprise by her sister’s brashness.  
  
“I don't want to go live with Rachel.”  
“She said something to you?”

That same fire from the night before bubbles up in her stomach and she clenches her fists on top of the table.

“Someone had to, Beca, you weren’t.”  
“I know, that isn’t fair to you. But when Jack said that Dad and Sheila put me in the will to take you, my mind just kind of exploded.”  
“You don’t have to, you know? You have an out. Rachel, foster care, there are options.”

Beca sighs. She rubs her hands over her face and kicks the metal pole that holds the table, creating a loud clatter from the silverware.

“I want you to have the best life you can. I’ve always wanted that and a majority of that depended on Sheila and Dad being around. Am I really the next best thing?”  
“I don’t know. But you’re the only thing left.” She picks apart her napkin, “Unless you don’t wanna be.”

They stare at each other until their food comes. They eat in silence.

 

The rest of Chloe’s night goes on as any other night out would. They drink, they get food, they talk and laugh and for a little while everything feels normal. Chloe drinks a little more than she maybe should so Aubrey drives her home. Chloe pauses before undoing her seatbelt.

“Beca’s not back yet.”  
“Chlo, I know that you want to make sure that Beca and Lucy are taken care of.”  
“If you’re going to say what I think you are then don’t.” Chloe’s voice is harsh. She’s had this conversation with Aubrey time and time again.  
“Just hear me out for a minute. I know that you love her, that you love both of them, but you need to make sure that whatever decision you guys come to, that it isn’t just for their sake. You need to make sure that it’s something you can live with too, that it’s something that makes you happy.”  
“Beca makes me happy.”

When Chloe looks into Aubrey’s eyes she knows she means it. She always does. She’s seen the way that Chloe’s whole demeanor has changed, has brightened, has strengthened, since Beca came into her life. She also knows that means she would do anything to make sure Beca never left.

“Okay, I’ll support you, no matter what. I love you.”  
“I love you too.” Chloe says with a gentle smile, “Have a safe flight tomorrow.”

They pull each other into a tight embrace and hold on for a while. When Chloe finally gets out of the car she waits until Aubrey pulls out of the driveway before she goes back into the house. She changes out of her clothes and goes to sit on the porch to wait for Beca and Lucy.

 

  
The car ride is just as quiet. Lucy sits in the back seat with her head tilted back on the headrest. Beca can’t tell if she’s fallen asleep or not. Beca’s mind switches between her conversation with Lucy and the one she had with Jack earlier that morning. When they get back home, Chloe is sitting on the porch with a cup of tea. Lucy unbuckles quickly and walks inside and up to her room before anyone has time to say something to her. Beca falls down onto the swing next to Chloe. She rubs her hands over her face and feels Chloe’s gentle fingertips running up and down on her arms.

“The talk went well I take it.”  
Beca groans, “I feel like my stomach is eating itself.”  
“I’m sorry, baby.”

Chloe kisses her head and gently pushes the swing back and forth with her foot. It takes a while for her to realize Beca’s crying.

“She told me to put her in foster care.”  
“What?”  
“I’m pretty sure that she thinks I don’t want her. But that’s not it.”  
“What is it then?”

Beca picks at her nails. She contemplates how to say what she wants to say. She hasn’t been able to put the thought together in her own head, let alone out loud to another person.

“She deserves a life with parents.”  
“She does.” Chloe speaks and her voice calms everything down, it washes over Beca and she can feel her own heartbeat slow, “But that isn’t an option anymore. Not with the parents she deserves.”  
“That isn’t fair.”  
“Very few things are.”  
“Thanks, that’s helpful.” Beca snaps. She checks her tone before she continues, “She deserves better than me.”  
“There’s no one better than you. The thing she needs right now, more than anything, is someone who understands what she’s going through.”  
“I’m gonna ask you one more time. Do you honestly believe we can do this?”

Chloe pauses, but it isn’t telling. Everything stays the same; her breathing, the gentle rocking, the slackness in her muscles. Beca adjusts herself so she is staring into Chloe’s piercing blue eyes. She wants to see her when she gets the answer. She isn’t sure what answer she’s hoping for, but she waits with bated breath.

“I do.”  
“Okay then, we’re doing this. We’re raising a kid.”

Chloe leans in and pulls Beca into her, kissing her forehead then her lips.

“The last thing I want is for her to think I don’t need her in my life.”  
“Then you need to tell her that, and keep telling her; everyday if you have to.”

Chloe rests her cheek against the top of Beca’s head. A strong breeze makes its way through the front yard. It rustles the leaves and turns Beca’s attention to the stars in the sky. The night sky was always one of her favorite things about living in the south. There was so much of it to see and it never ceased to amaze her. Every once in a while in the city she’ll catch a glimpse of the constellations she’s grown to know but it’s never the same.

“Did I ever tell you about when she was born?”  
“No, I don’t think so.”  
“I was fifteen, so I was a total monster. My mom had sent me here to spend half the summer with my dad because she just couldn’t deal with me anymore, not that anyone was probably surprised by that.”

Chloe knows how much turbulence there is between Beca and her mother but she can’t imagine how much worse it must have been when she was a teenager.

“It was the day before I was leaving to go back to Seattle when Sheila went into labor. My dad always said that she was born on that day just so she could meet me before I left.” She smirks at her next thought. “I got to pick her middle name.”  
“What is it again?”  
“Jane.” Beca smiles, “After Jane Austen. My dad had sent me a collection of her books and we were reading Pride and Prejudice.”  
“That’s pretty special, Bec. You’ve been a part of her since she was born. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”  
“Can you do me a favor?”  
“Anything.” Chloe answers, without a second thought.  
“Can you keep reminding me of that?”

Chloe smirks, thinking back to the conversation she had earlier with Aubrey.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

  
Beca and Chloe walk up to Lucy’s closed bedroom door. Daniel’s voice drifts through the small crack underneath, along with the gentle glow of her bedside lamp. Beca knocks, not too loud so she doesn’t scare her.

“Come in.”

Daniel’s voice stops. When they walk in, Lucy is curled up in her bed with her laptop open beside her. She pushes herself up to sit criss-cross and give them space to sit in front of her.

“Hey, can we talk to you for a second?”  
“Sure.”  
“So, Chloe and I were talking just now and we came to a decision.”

Beca pauses. Up until this point it seemed like it was all her decision. She hadn’t thought about the fact that Lucy may not want to live with them. She may not want to leave Georgia, to leave her friends and her school, leave behind everything familiar. Beca takes in a shaky breath but she gains back a little bit of bravery when Chloe’s hand finds her lower back.

“We would, I mean, if you want to, um, we decided to,”

She flounders and looks to Chloe for help. Thankfully, her girlfriend is much more eloquent than her in these types of situations. She sits down on the other side of Beca and takes Lucy’s hand in her own.

“Would you like to come live with us? Because we would love it if you did. I know that a lot of things are really scary and undecided right now, but I think if we were at least together then maybe it wouldn’t feel as overwhelming. What do you think?”

The minute or two that she takes to think it over feels like an eternity to Beca. Her heart beats faster with every second and her hands are starting to sweat. She bites her lower lip, runs her tongue over it, then bites it again. She can’t read Lucy’s expression and it makes her stomach muscles clench.

“Yeah, I think so too.”

Beca heaves a sigh of relief and lets her shoulders slump down.

“Are we going to have to sell this house?”  
“I’m not sure yet.” Beca says, once again finding her voice, “We’ll talk about it. This is your home and we aren’t going to make any decisions without talking to you first. You’re just as much a part of this as we are, okay?”

Lucy nods. She doesn’t say anything else and they assume she wants to be alone so they get up to leave.

“Beca?”  
“Yeah?”

When Beca turns back around the look on Lucy’s face is one of utter relief. She knows her sister loves her but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to take her on full time. She lifts her chin up and it’s clear she’s trying to look tough; something her father had tried to teach her. It doesn’t work and tears begin to fall before she can stop them. Beca walks back over and wraps her arms around her. She kisses her temple.

“I love you, kid.”  
“I love you too. What do we do now?”  
Beca pulls back, “You know, I have no idea. I’m flying by the seat of my pants here.”

The expression makes Lucy laugh, a light little scoff.

“But where I go, you go, and vice versa, and wherever that is, we’ll figure it out together. Deal?”  
“Deal.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me (or with me) on tumblr: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	7. The Perfect Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, this summer has been crazy! Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy!

Beca isn’t sure what wakes her; if it’s the sun coming through the window, the breeze pushing its way past the curtains or the empty space on the bed next to her, occupied only by a note. She blinks her eyes until the bleariness of sleep is gone completely.

 

morning baby,  
went to run some errands and to the hardware store to get boxes. See you when I get back.  
love you xx

 

The closer it gets to moving day, the antsier she gets. She knows the adjustment won’t be easy. She knows that Lucy must be dreading it, but she can’t fight the little bit of selfishness in knowing she’ll be back in her own bed, and back at work, in the next couple of days.

 

She walks downstairs and the second she enters the kitchen she can sense the anger radiating off of her sister. Lucy is sitting at the kitchen island, staring at the gray and white pattern of the backsplash above the stove. Beca purposefully makes noise when she walks into the room so she doesn’t scare her but Lucy still doesn’t move.

“Hey, you been up long?”

Beca doesn’t get an answer. She’s exhausted. The turbulence in the house is enough to make anyone motion sick. They’re all hurting but Lucy hasn’t settled on one mood long enough for them to have a regular conversation in days. Beca doesn’t say anything else, she just starts brewing her coffee and making a breakfast that she knows Lucy won’t eat.  
Chloe has checklists all over the kitchen; some are sitting on the counter, some are clipped up on the refrigerator, but Beca tries to avoid looking at them just now. It’s overwhelming, the amount of stuff she needs to do, for Lucy, for the house, and it all needs to be done before they leave Georgia. Beca places a plate of eggs and toast in front of Lucy and she pushes it away.

“I’m not eating this.”  
“Yes, you are.”  
“No, I’m not.”  
“You need to eat.”  
“I’m not hungry.”

One look at Lucy and Beca feels all of the breath leave her body. She looks exactly like their father when he would argue. The way one eyebrow lifts, only slightly, the way her lips form a perfectly straight line and the vein in her forehead pokes out a little bit. She’s firm and steadfast, despite her tiny frame. But Beca knows this is a battle she finally needs to choose.

“We will sit here until you eat. I’ve got all day.”  
“I know for a fact that you don’t,” Lucy starts, “and I’m not a little kid.”  
“Then stop acting like one and eat your damn food.”

Beca pulls the plate closer to Lucy but she pushes it, forcefully, off of the counter and it shatters against the tile.

“What the hell?”  
“Stop, Beca. Just stop. You’re not my mother.” Lucy yells, standing from her stool and taking a few steps toward the doorway.  
“I know that.” Beca says, still stunned.  
“Because my mom is dead.”

She turns on her heel and looks into Beca’s eyes. The fire has engulfed, not only her eyes, but her entire body; it’s somehow terrifying and intoxicating at the same time.  
  
“I watched her take her last breath. Do you have any idea what that’s like? I already knew dad was dead. She was all I had left and then, all of a sudden, she was gone too.”  
“No, I can’t imagine.” Beca admits.  
“It was the worst sound I’ve ever heard. I can still hear it when it’s really quiet. It was like a wheeze and a click and then complete silence.”

Beca can see her hands shaking, she can hear the same tremble in her voice.

“Then they took her away and I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. They said I wouldn’t have to. They told me they were going to help her. They promised me.”

Beca feels the familiar anger, the anger that’s been simmering underneath her gut and in her heart for days. It’s bubbling up again and she isn’t sure how much longer she can contain it.

“They shouldn’t have said that to you.”

Lucy lets the facade of strength fall and she drops down back down onto her stool.

“Why did they lie?”  
“I don’t know, that wasn’t fair.”  
“None of this is fair.”  
“No, it’s not.”

Chloe walks into the room. The air is heavy and thick with the admissions. She pauses until she gets a gentle nod from Beca. She drops the empty boxes on the floor and curses her horrible timing.

The very idea of leaving the only home she’s ever known is weighing heavier on Lucy than either of them could ever imagine. She’s already lost so much, adding home to that list almost seems impossible.

“Everything okay in here?”

Chloe looks between them both but neither of them say anything. She notices the smattering of eggs and ceramic on the floor near the oven.

“I’ll go get the broom.” She says, leaving the room to allow them time to finish their conversation.  
“Luce, listen to me for a second.”

Lucy turns to look at Beca and she can tell that she’s already embarrassed about her outburst.

“I know I’m not your mom and I will never try to be. Sheila was a great woman and she was an amazing mom to you, I know that. But, I’m always gonna try to be a good big sister, it’s kind of my job now. Which means looking out for your health and your happiness, okay?”  
“Mhm.”  
“We just need to find out what this new arrangement means for all of us. I’ve never done this before either.”  
“I’m sorry.”

Lucy’s voice is quiet, it’s tired, and scared, and sad. It’s everything Beca has come to know it as within the past couple weeks. Lucy’s a new kid now and she needs to relearn her. She needs to realize that she went through something she can’t ever forget. She will do the best she can to help her through this but she needs to remember that Lucy is her own person. Even in the face of the same disaster, everyone’s worlds shatter in differently shaped shards.

“Don’t be sorry. But can I ask you something?”  
“Sure.”  
“Why aren’t you eating?”  
Lucy sighs, “I just kind of feel sick all the time. The thought of putting food into my mouth makes me want to throw up.”  
“Do you think that’s because of everything that’s going on, or do we need to go to a doctor?”

Lucy shrugs. She honestly has no idea.

“Okay, if you don’t start eating in the next couple of days, we’re going to the doctor. Deal?”  
“Deal.”

Chloe decides, after listening at the door, that it’s safe to go back in. She hands the broom to Lucy when she extends her hands and she sweeps up the mess.

“Will you guys help me pack up my room?”  
“Of course, sweetheart.” Chloe answers, already working on assembling the boxes.

 

They work for most of the day, folding clothes, sorting them into piles; what needs to be donated and what Lucy is keeping. They put her trophies and certificates in a box for storage, all of her sports equipment and books are put into various boxes to ship to New York.

“The movers are coming the day after tomorrow so we’ll start to bring the boxes downstairs for them. But first we have something important to do.” Beca says.

Lucy grabs the piece of paper from her nightstand and follows Beca and Chloe outside to their car.

 

Chloe parks the car and there are almost no other cars around. Beca pops the trunk and pulls out the small black urns.

“Lead the way, Lou.”

Lucy starts toward the trail that she usually walks with her parents. It’s a place she knows like the back of her hand. Her and her parents would picnic at Walker’s Ledge on weekends or sometimes they would just go for walks on nice summer evenings. It’s where she learned to ride a bike and where she got her first bee sting. It’s not much to speak of, just a walking path with little plaques here and there describing wildlife and historical landmarks; which are mostly just big rocks. Except for one spot, the waterfall.  
She leads them to the Red Falls. It’s where Daniel proposed to Sheila, a little over fourteen years ago.

“So this is it, huh?” Beca asks, mostly because she doesn’t know what else to say.  
“This is it.” Lucy confirms.

Beca and Chloe place the urns down on a rock and take a step back. The splashing of the water is loud but not overwhelmingly so, so they decide this is as good a spot as any.

“So, what do we do?” Lucy asks.  
“Um, I don’t really know. Do you have anything you want to say?I kind of did all of my talking at the funeral.”

Lucy reaches into her shorts pocket and sighs in relief when she feels the crumple of the small piece of paper. She pulls it out and holds it up for the others to see.

“I could read my letter, if that’s okay.”  
“Of course it is, Lou. That’s a great idea.” Beca says.

Lucy unfolds it and takes a few deep breaths. She looks up quickly to her sister and Chloe. She’s met with expectant looks and a gentle smile from Chloe so she starts to read.

“Dear Mom and Dad, You won’t ever read this. I know that. But I was thinking today about Mom telling me when her grandma died that she wrote a letter and attached it to a balloon to send it to heaven. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things actually. I was thinking about your favorite songs and your favorites foods and what you smell like and what your laughs sound like. I was thinking that maybe I should write it all down before I forget it. There’s no one left in the world that knows our family like we do. There’s no one left that knows the feeling of watching tv on the couch on a Thursday, just the three of us; how Dad would fall asleep and pretend like he wasn’t when we would call him out on it. Or the feeling of riding in the car, when mom’s favorite song would come on and she would turn it up, just a little, like we wouldn’t notice if she didn’t bring attention to it. There are a lot of things that I’ve been thinking about, and a lot of things that I don’t ever want to think about ever again.  
Like the way you looked in the hospital bed, your face bruised and cut up. The fact that there is so much you’re going to miss out on; my high school graduation, my college graduation, Beca’s wedding, your grandchildren, everything else that happens to me for the rest of my life. I know you won’t ever read this, but I guess just writing it down makes me feel a little better. I don’t know why. I miss you. I’ll never stop missing you and I know Beca won’t either. I’ll try to make you proud, I promise. I love you both. I hope you’ve found a library up there; find your favorites and write notes in the margins; I’ll be there to read them someday.”

Lucy folds the paper back up and sticks it back in her pocket. Chloe is furiously wiping tears from her cheeks and Beca is clenching her jaw as tightly as she can to stop herself from crying.

“That was a nice letter, Lou.” Beca says, she holds her hand out for Lucy to take it, which she does.  
“Now what?”  
“We let them go.”

Beca hands Sheila’s urn to Lucy and she takes Daniel’s. They open them and neither of them think too long about the fact that this pile of ashes is the only earthly thing left of their parents. They wait for a strong breeze before they pour them out and watch them swirl and disperse amongst nature.

“You know my Mom believed in reincarnation.” Lucy says.  
“What do you think she’ll come back as?” Chloe asks.  
“Something beautiful.”  
“And Dad?”  
Lucy thinks for a moment, “Something sturdy.”

And that is the most accurate thing Beca could ever think of describe Daniel. She pulls Lucy into her side and she feels Chloe place her hand on the small of her back. They stand there until it starts to get buggy.

“Alright, Lou, I think it’s time to go kid.”  
“One more thing.”

Lucy nods and bends down to the ground. She grabs a sharp rock and walks over to a tree. She carves a squiggly ‘DM, SM, 2018’ into its bark.

“They didn’t get tombstones, so.”  
“It’s perfect.” Chloe says.  
“Bye Mom, bye Dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me (or with me): www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	8. I and Love and You

 

The morning of the move comes quickly. Beca and Chloe are both up early but they wait as long as they can to wake Lucy. They have no idea what mood she’ll be in and they want to get as much done as they can, just in case she decides to be difficult.  
Beca isn’t all that surprised to find Lucy awake in her bed when she peeks her head in. She walks over and lays next to her. Lucy moves in closer to her and rests her head on Beca’s chest. Her heartbeat is steady, its comforting. She grips her shirt in her fist and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly while she thinks.

“How did you sleep?”  
“Fine. You?”  
“Alright. Chloe kept kicking me in the shin. She’s such a bed hog.”

Lucy scoffs. Beca holds the silence. She wishes she could pack it up and take it with them. She knows as soon as they get to New York they’ll never find this silence again. Everything is too busy and too loud and too big there. She isn’t sure how Lucy will deal with moving somewhere so different but she hopes that it’ll help. She hopes it will offer enough of a contrast to help her move on.

“Is everything packed up?”  
“Mhm.”  
“Good, you should probably get up. The movers will be here in an hour.”  
“What time do we leave for the airport?”

Beca stands. One look at Lucy and she can tell she’s nervous. She’s had the same habit since she was little; something their dad taught them.

‘When you’re nervous pick a spot on the wall behind the person you’re talking too and stare. Don’t look away from it, stay stoic. Don’t let it show.’

“two.”  
“Oh.”

Beca’s pretty sure there’s something she wants to say, but before she can ask her about it they are interrupted by a loud knock at the door. It’s pushed open. Emily walks into the room with a big smile on her face.

“Hey Em.” Beca greets her.  
“Hey, can I steal our girl for a bit?”  
“Sure.”

Beca places a gentle hand on Emily’s shoulder before she walks out of the room. They spoke last night, she knows exactly what’s going on. Emily bends down next to the bed and pushes a piece of hair behind Lucy’s ear.

“Where are we going?”  
“I have a surprise for you. Hurry up and get dressed.”

And as quickly as she entered the room, she’s gone. Lucy dresses in comfy clothes, not wanting to bother with anything restricting on the plane later.  
She doesn’t normally do well with surprises. And to be truthful, she thought she had enough surprises in the past couple weeks to last her a lifetime, but she trusts Emily. She knows that it won’t be anything bad so she walks downstairs and into the kitchen. Emily is helping move some boxes to the front hall.

“Ready to go?”  
“I would be more ready if you told me where you’re taking me.”  
“That would take all the fun out of it, come on.”

She sends a quick look to Chloe but she is simply met with a reassuring smile. She follows Emily out the door to her car. They drive for a few minutes, toward Barden. It’s a route she knows better than anything else in the world. Emily parks in the staff parking lot and waits patiently while Lucy gets out of the backseat.  
She wasn’t sure that she wanted to come back here before she left but it seems now she isn’t being given an option. She follows Emily into the building where Daniel taught most of his classes. She used to sit in on lectures from time to time. This building is where she learned about Twain and Bronte, Dickinson and Kafka, Shakespeare and Miller and WIlliams. She took it for granted at the time; she thought she would have years of listening to her father pass down his wisdom to his students, to her.

“Okay, so it isn’t finished but I wanted you to see it in person before you left.”  
“What?”

Emily pushes the door open to the main hall. To the left, near the lounge area, up on the wall is a half finished portrait. It’s the beginnings of Daniel’s likeness. She stops where she is, too afraid to move forward. Emily puts her hand on her back and urges her ahead. The closer she gets the more detail she can make out.  
In the background of the painting there are small letters, an excerpt from his favorite novel.

‘We can experience nothing but the present moment, live in no other second of time, and to understand this is as close as we can get to eternal life.’

“How?”  
“Your dad left a lot of money to the school in his will. The board thought this would be a good way to honor him.”  
“Thank you for showing this to me.”

Emily pulls her into her side and kisses her hair.

“No one here is going to forget your dad. Least of all me. I owe a lot to him and to your mom. He was the whole reason I decided I wanted to teach.”  
“You never told me that before.”

Lucy pulls away from her and looks up with curious eyes.

“I’ve never really said it out loud before.”  
“You’re going to be a great teacher, Em. You’ve already taught me a ton of stuff.” She lowers her voice, “Probably stuff I’ll never actually need to know but hey.”  
“Excuse me, when you win Who Wants to Be a Millionaire because you know how many stages are in an ordinary sleep cycle, I expect some of that money.”  
“Or I could keep the money and sleep peacefully through all four of them.”

Emily nudges her.

“I’m gonna miss you so damn much.”  
Lucy nods, “Maybe once you graduate you could come live in New York with us.”  
“Yeah, maybe.”

She can tell by the tone in her voice and the way she looks down when she says it, that she isn’t even considering it.  
  
“Okay, enough being sad, but there’s one more thing.”

Emily pulls her down the hallway. They stop in front of two heavy wooden doors. On the side there’s a plaque that reads: Daniel A. and Sheila R. Mitchell Lecture Hall.

“This is the first hall your dad ever taught a class in.”  
“This is so amazing. He would love all of this.”  
“He would pretend not to though.”  
“Totally.”

Lucy lets her fingertips run over the engraved letters, careful not to leave any fingerprints on the pristine metal.

“I should probably get you back to your sister.”  
“Yeah, probably.”

  
When they get back to the house Lucy gets out of the car but doesn’t move toward the door. She gestures to the much smaller house next door.

“I’ll be in in a minute. There’s just something I have to do first.”

Emily nods and walks into the house. Lucy walks through the yard and up the front steps of the house. She knocks and waits. She can hear shuffling before the click of the lock. She is met with the same gentle, worn features she’s known through her whole life.

“Hi, Mrs. Reed.”  
“Lucy, dear, come in.”  
“I can’t stay long.”  
“Let’s sit then.” She shuffles over to the porch swing and Lucy sits next to her.   
“I just wanted to come say goodbye.”  
“Chloe mentioned you were leaving today.”

Lucy switches her weight from foot to foot. The breeze pushes her hair into her face and she doesn’t move it away; instead letting the air push it wherever it wants.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for us, and for everything you’ve done for like, my whole life.”  
“It’s been my pleasure, sweetheart,” She places a hand on Lucy’s knee, “you are going to be just fine.”  
“Are you sure about that?”  
“I am. Do you know why?”

Lucy shakes her head.

“Because you have people all around you that love you. After Walter died I thought that I would never be able to move on. I thought I would die of a broken heart, but something incredible happened, only a few days later, that saved me from the sadness.”  
“What was it?”  
“The young couple next door had a baby girl.”

Lucy had never heard this story. The way Mrs. Reed talked about Walter, it always seemed like he had been dead forever. Mrs. Reed had been a part of her life since she could remember so it all makes sense, and yet it’s still a surprise.

“Your parents let me take care of you and be a part of your life. Miss Lucy, you have been a gift since you were born and you will continue to be just that for your sister and for Chloe, and for me.”  
“But I’m leaving.”  
“Yes, but we can talk on the telephone and you can come visit. I can go on knowing that you are going to do remarkable things.”

Lucy lets tears fall down her cheeks. It’s in this moment that realizes that someone can make such a deep impact without realizing it.

“Can we make it a weekly thing?”  
“Every Sunday after church.” Mrs. Reed agrees.  
“You can tell me all the gossip with Meredith and Charles.”

Mrs. Reed laughs, her same gentle chuckle she’s always had and Lucy has to push away the fact that it’s the last time she’ll hear it in person, at least for a while. She wraps Mrs. Reed tightly in a hug and doesn’t want to let go.

“I have one more thing for you.”

Mrs. Reed gets up from the swing, with a little help form Lucy and disappears into the house. She returns a minute or two later with a powder blue box. It has a metal hook keeping it closed. It’s decorated with colorful birds and wooden bird houses. She places it in Lucy’s hands, but keeps her own on top of them.

“These are all of my recipes.”  
“I couldn’t take them.” Lucy says, shaking her head.  
“I want you to have them. I don’t have anyone else to pass them along to. Besides, some of my favorite memories in this house have been in that kitchen with you. You used to tie one of my aprons around your waist, it was so big it would sweep the floor, and you would dance around to Ella Fitzgerald and sing your little heart out. This is to remind you to keep smiling and keep creating things that make you happy.”

Lucy looks down at the box, at Mrs. Reeds wrinkled hands. She closes her eyes for just a minute.

“I’ll never forget anything you’ve done for me. You’re one of my favorite people in the world.”  
“And you, mine.”

Mrs. Reed kisses Lucy’s cheek and gestures next door.

“You should get going. Your sister will be looking for you soon, I’m sure.”  
“Yeah, okay. Goodbye.”  
“Goodbye, my dear.”

  
Walking back into the house from the breeziness of the early afternoon makes Lucy choke. It’s hot and noisy and chaotic inside. She immediately puts the box into her backpack that is sitting near the front door.  
Beca and Chloe are moving the last few boxes to the living room while the movers walk back and forth with the furniture from Lucy’s bedroom and some of the other bigger things they’ve decided to take with them.

“Hey, you okay?” Beca asks, setting down the box, labeled books, with a huff.  
“Yeah, I just went to say goodbye to Mrs. Reed.”  
“I’m sorry, kid. I know this isn’t easy.”  
“No, it’s not, but it’s getting a little easier.”

Chloe walks into the room, having come to a realization the night before. Since arriving in Georgia, she hadn’t heard Lucy talk about a single friend from school. No one had come around looking for her or to check on her. There were no kids at the funeral, nothing. She asked Beca about it but she didn’t seem to have any insight.

“Hey Luce?” Lucy looks up at her, “What about your friends from school? Isn’t there anyone you want to say goodbye to?”  
Lucy shrugs, “Not really.”  
“No one? What about a best friend or your teammates from the softball team?”  
“Emily’s my best friend.”

Emily smiles at the compliment but she also knows that Lucy has never had an easy time making friends; she’s too smart and too mature and the other kids could never quite get a handle on that.

“I don’t know, I never felt like those kids were worth getting to know.”  
“Lone wolf.” Beca says in support, but even she knows that it isn’t healthy for Lucy not to have anyone her own age to talk to.  
“Exactly. I have all the friends I need.”

Chloe doesn’t press it any further. She knows that today, of all days, is not the day to delve into that situation. She hopes in New York that Lucy will be able to meet some kids her own age; she definitely will be introduced to a little more diversity there and that could be a good thing for her.

The rest of the moving process goes by quickly. The movers are left to finish up, under the supervision of Emily. A tearful goodbye with Emily, with a promise of a visit as soon as possible and updates from everyone, and then they’re off to the airport.

 

They arrive back in the city a few hours later. Beca pushes the door open to the apartment. It’s the one she and Chloe bought soon after she got her record deal. It’s close to the studio and to Chloe’s school and it fit them perfectly, although now they may need to look into getting a bigger place, yet again.

“So this will be your room, once we clear it out.”

Beca flips on the light and it’s clearly her office. It has a computer, several musical instruments, and some mixing equipment set up on one side with a small couch on the other.

“But until then you’ll be on the pullout in the living room. Is that okay?”  
“Yeah, that’s cool. I’m actually really tired. Can I go to sleep?”  
“Yeah, of course.”  
“I’ll go set it up.” Chloe says.

Lucy changes into her pajamas and she isn’t surprised to find both Chloe and Beca laying on the pullout waiting for her. Beca slaps the empty space on the mattress next to her. Lucy climbs in and covers herself up with the quilt.

“I’m so proud of you, Lou. Today was a big deal and you got through it.”  
“One day at a time.” Chloe says.  
“Mhm.”

Lucy lets the exhaustion from every emotion that’s been running through her, and the traveling and the packing, and everything else that’s been building for the past few days, take over her body. Her limbs feel heavy and her eyelids feel even heavier. Chloe’s fingers tangle in her hair and Beca’s fingertips move up and down her arm until she is sound asleep.   
They both climb off of the flimsy mattress as carefully as possible to go get ready for bed themselves. Today was a good day. It was progress and they both feel a little more confident that they will be able to get through this. One day at a time. One seemingly impossible day at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote is from Children of Men by P.D. James
> 
> Come yell at me (or with me): www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	9. Changing Landscapes

Lucy wakes up in the middle of the night from another nightmare. But if anyone asked it was because of the sounds from the endless traffic. She jumps slightly when an ambulance lets out a loud whoop on the street below. She climbs out of the bed and walks down the hall.

“Beca?” She tries to keep her voice quiet but it still feels too loud through the dark.

Beca’s eyes blink open as she looks to the doorway where Lucy is standing anxiously.

“Are you okay?”  
“Uh, yeah,” She has tears on her cheeks and her voice is shaky, like she’s trying to hold back sobs, “I just, um, you know what, it’s stupid; sorry. I’m sorry.”

Beca sits up quickly and turns on the lamp.

“Hey, it’s okay. Come here.”

Lucy hesitates before she shuffles into the room and sits on the edge of the bed. She didn’t come into the room when they first got to the apartment. It felt like an invasion of Beca and Chloe’s privacy. Beca licks her lips and pulls her hair up into a messy bun on top of her head. Chloe is still sound asleep with her face buried in the pillow next to her.

“I’ve been having the same dream about dad since I got the phone call.” Beca says, “Do you remember the Christmas, you were probably eight, when your mom was working and dad tried to cook us dinner, but he ended up burning like everything. So he took us out to dinner at that Chinese food place.”

Lucy scoffs and nods.

“Then he said something, probably something so small, and I went off on him. I told him he ruined my life and I wish we had never mended our relationship. I said a lot of really horrible stuff.”

There’s a long silence. The cars and the people outside try to fill it but their situation seems to drown them in it, in every long breath and heavy pause. It weighs them down; keeping them from moving.

Lucy had never asked Beca about why they didn’t speak or get along when she was really little, she never felt it was her place. She can see it though, the guilt; it’s in her eyes and her heavy shoulders, it looks the same as it did on their father.

“I can’t take any of that back.”  
“I keep dreaming about the night it happened. Before they left I told them that I didn’t want to see their faces. I actually said that, and now I can’t ever see them again.”  
“They know you didn’t mean it. They know you love them.”  
Lucy bites her lower lip, “Maybe, but I still wish I could take it back.”

Beca puts her hand on her knee and gives it a quick squeeze.

“I guess the only thing left to do is forgive ourselves.”  
“I don’t know how to do that.”  
“Yeah,” Beca sighs, “me either.”

Chloe stirs and groans. Beca places a steady hand on her back and waits to make sure she doesn’t wake up. She signals toward the door and Lucy gets up to go back to the living room. Beca shuts off the lamp and follows her to the pullout couch. She covers them both up with the light blanket. The fall air hasn’t quite hit the city yet, since it’s just now the early hours of September first. She rubs Lucy’s back until she falls asleep.

Beca doesn’t get much sleep herself because her mind won’t shut off. She runs through the list of things she needs to do as soon as she gets to work in the morning. She also makes a mental grocery list, tries to remember if she packed everything Lucy could possibly need from the house in Georgia. She does all this and before she knows it, she can hear her alarm in her bedroom. Chloe shuffles out and hands the phone over.

Beca takes it and shuts off the alarm before it wakes Lucy up. She stands and kisses Chloe. She smiles, the same sleepy smile that greets her every morning and Beca lets herself feel how good it is to be back home with her girl.

“Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?”  
“My guess is better than you did.” Chloe says, pointing to Lucy, still snoring slightly, “You look exhausted.”  
“Well, gee, don’t make me blush.”

Beca smiles and pulls Chloe into the kitchen so she can make coffee.

“You’re sure that you’re okay to stay with her today? Because I can call the guys and-”  
“No way. I know how excited you are to go back to work. This has kept you away for long enough.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Besides, I think it will be good for both of you.”  
“What do you mean?”

Beca pours two mugs of coffee and puts sugar in both. She’s surprised they still have either. She grabs a piece of paper and sits at the table to start writing down the grocery list she has in her head from last night.

“You need to make music again. I’ve seen what it does for you when you’re going through a hard time. I know how much you need it.”  
“But what about Lou?”  
“I think some separation will be good for her. You’re her crutch, Bec.”  
“Isn’t that what she needs right now?”  
“What she needs right now is to find out who she is in this new world.”

Beca sighs and rubs her hands over her face. Every conversation now feels too heavy. It’s barely six in the morning and she feels like she’s already lived the whole day. She takes a big sip of her coffee and pushes her body out of the chair. It almost feels foreign to her, getting ready in her own bedroom and bathroom. While she’s curling her hair, Lucy walks in and sits on the edge of the bed behind her.

“Dude, you look so tired. Go back to bed.”  
“I’m okay,” She twiddled her thumbs, “so you’re going back to work today.”

It isn’t a question and she can hear the anxiousness.

“Yeah, Chloe is going to hang with you here while I get some stuff done at the studio.”  
“Can I come with you?”

Beca turns and looks at Lucy. She notices it again, the smallness, in her stature and in her voice. She can’t remember ever being that small.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s gonna be a crazy day but I promise I’ll bring you over and show you all around as soon as I can, okay?”

Lucy nods but she looks like she’s about to cry. Beca is thankful when Chloe ducks her head in.

“Luce, time for breakfast.”  
“I’m not hungry.”

Chloe pulls her up by her hand, “I know but you need to try.”

Beca finishes getting ready and when she walks into the kitchen it doesn’t look like Lucy has taken a single bite. Chloe follows her eye line and shrugs.

“You look great, baby; very professional.”  
“Well, thank you, I try.”

Beca fills her thermos with coffee; cup two of what she is sure will be many today. She kisses Chloe, letting it linger a little longer than normal. All of the tension in her jaw and shoulders dissipates only to come right back as soon as they separate.

“Go make art, Bec”

Beca winks before she bends down in front of Lucy.

“Have a good day with Chlo, alright?”  
“When will you be home?”  
“I’ll be back by seven. Then we can watch a movie or something. Call me if you need anything. I’ll have my cell on all day.”

She kisses her cheek and walks out the door before one more look at Lucy’s pathetic eyes makes her stay home.

The apartment feels odd without Beca in it. It all feels weird to Lucy. She’s never lived anywhere so small and colorful and loud before. Well, she’d never lived anywhere but home before. Except, this is her home now. She pushes the oatmeal around her bowl and pulls apart the toast but none of it ends up in her mouth. Chloe leans against the counter, nursing her own cup of coffee and toast, watching Lucy carefully. Once it’s abundantly clear that Lucy isn’t going to eat she takes the dishes away.

“Go get dressed, we have errands to run.”  
Lucy lifts an eyebrow, “Errands?”  
“We need to go to the grocery store since we are out of, well we’re out of everything. We also need to go get all the mail from the post office, you need school supplies and I think we are both in need of a good haircut.”  
“That’s a lot of stuff.”  
“So we better get going if we want to be done before Beca gets home.”

Lucy isn’t stupid, she knows exactly what Chloe’s doing. She’s keeping her distracted, like a baby. She knows that spending the day with her girlfriends’ orphaned sister can’t be high on her list of things she wants to do today, but she does as she’s told anyway. In a weird way, she’s thankful for the distraction. By the time they get out of the apartment, it’s raining; not a downpour but a steady drizzle that coats Lucy’s jeans and sneaks into her shoes.  
She walks quietly along behind Chloe. When she looks up around her, she’s in awe at how tall the buildings are and how many people and cars are all around her. She didn’t notice much of anything last night, she was too tired. Chloe slows her pace when she realizes that Lucy isn’t next to her anymore. Lucy has her head tilted all the way back with her eyes squinted against the slight drizzle. Chloe sneaks a picture and sends it to Beca to calm her nerves. She could tell how torn she was about leaving her this morning.

“Luce, you ready to go?”

Lucy nods and takes Chloe’s extended hand. By the time they get through everything they need to do, Lucy is exhausted. Chloe’s plan worked; they didn’t stop for a minute and Lucy wasn’t able to even look at the clock. She puts her pajamas on and lays on the couch. Chloe is putting together dinner with the groceries they bought earlier in the day. Lucy’s phone chimes and unlocks it to a message from Emily.

“Hi Scout, miss you already!”

She knows it was well meant but it makes her want to cry. She texts Beca because she said she was going to be home twenty minutes ago. When dinner is ready and she still hasn’t gotten an answer, she starts to worry. She doesn’t eat anything because her whole world is beginning to spin.

“Beca should be home by now, it’s almost eight-thirty.”  
“I’m sure she’s just busy. Your sister is good at her job, they’ve missed her there.”  
“Can I call her?”  
“You can give it a try, but she’s probably on her way home; there’s almost no reception on the subway.”

 

 

  
When Beca walks into work, she can’t help but feel a little nervous. She’s been talking with Theo and the rest of the guys since she left but she still has butterflies when she taps her card to gain access to the, slightly, audacious building. She steps onto the elevator and adjusts her blazer for the millionth time. She watches the number get bigger as the elevator moves up to the twenty-seventh floor.

She hears the ding and then the doors open. She steps out into the blinding white walls, floors, and furniture. She had never noticed it before, just how bright it is. She waves to the receptionist, she thinks her name is Lauren but honestly she can’t remember.

“Mitchell, you’re back.” She turns her head toward the loud voice, it’s one she became very familiar with, very quickly.  
“Hey Matt.”  
“It’s good to see you. I really am so sorry about your parents.”  
“Thank you. But I’m ready to get back to work.”  
“Happy to hear it. Be in the conference room in fifteen minutes.”

Beca nods. She drops her stuff off in her office; the office she still can’t believe she has. The ceilings seem to high for a building like this, her desk chair has a tall enough back so that when she turns around it doesn’t look like anyone is sitting in it and the walls are covered with art that she doesn’t even pretend to understand.

“Beca.”  
“Theo.” Beca says with a lifted eyebrow.  
“How are you doing?” He asks, as he shuts the door.

He opts to stand, with his arms crossed over his chest. Beca leans back against her desk.

“I’m alright. It’s been a long couple weeks.”  
“I can’t even imagine.”  
“I don’t know why you would want to.”

It was meant to be a joke but it comes out too harsh. She shakes her head and looks down at her shoes; they’re already starting to give her blisters and she remembers now why they were thrown to the back of her closet it.

“Well, it’s good to have you back here. We’ve all missed you.”  
“Even Anderson?” Beca asks, already knowing the answer.  
“Anderson doesn’t miss anyone, except his own reflection when he steps away from the mirror. But I have some stuff that I can’t wait for you to get your hands on.”  
“You could have sent it to me.”  
“It didn’t seem appropriate.”

Beca shrugs.

“Music is the only thing getting me through all of this. Well, music and Chloe.”  
“And your sister? How’s she doing?”  
“As well as can be expected, I guess. Or not, I honestly don’t know.”  
“Beca, if you need to take more time, I’m sure we can-”  
“No,” She pushes herself up to stand up straight, “what I need is to be here now. Sitting around at home isn’t doing anyone any good anymore. At least here, I don’t know, I have some semblance of an idea of what I should be doing.”  
“Okay, but any days you need off, just let me know.”  
“Thanks Theo, I appreciate that a lot.”

 

  
When Beca finally walks into the apartment that night Lucy is curled up on the couch with Chloe. It’s pulled out into a bed but all of the lights are still on. Her head is in the crook of her neck and her fist is filled with excess fabric from Chloe’s shirt. It’s silent but the look on her sister’s face tells her something is up. She looks like she may have been crying, or maybe she’s just really tired, but that’s anyone’s guess.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”  
“You said you would be home by seven and you were late and you weren’t answering your phone.”  
“It died and I didn’t bother to charge it.”  
“But you said you would be home and you weren’t.”

Lucy’s breath is quick and her voice is higher than normal. Beca puts up a hand to stop her. She kneels down in front of her on the floor, her other hand resting on Lucy’s thigh.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I should have called.”

Lucy leans forward and hugs her, tighter than ever.

“I should have called. I’m so so sorry.”

Beca looks at Chloe over Lucy’s shoulder. She gives her a sympathetic shrug. She has been sitting with Lucy for the better part of an hour trying to keep her calm.

“Let’s get you to sleep, alright? It’s late.”

She manages to get Lucy to lay down and wraps her with the light blanket. Chloe leaves them alone so they can talk and Beca can try to get her to sleep. It takes a while but eventually she’s successful.

  
“She’s asleep.” Beca says, through a sigh when she walks into her bedroom.

She flings herself onto the bed, completely exhausted from the day. Chloe is changing into her pajamas.

“She was a wreck.” Chloe says.

She knows it doesn’t help but this is an issue they need to address.

“Sometimes I forget that she was there that night; she talked to them and saw them and had a whole day, a whole week, with them, and they were supposed to come home and then they never showed up.”

Chloe holds Beca’s hand tightly.

“I can’t imagine what that must have felt like. I’ve tried but her relationship with them was so different than mine. I need to be better at being there for her.”  
“You need to go easy on yourself.” Chloe says, “This isn’t your fault. We’re all adjusting and she’ll get that trust back, eventually.”  
“I hope so.”

Beca forces herself up to change into pajamas.

“How was the rest of the day with her?”  
“It was good. Quiet.”

Beca nods. Lucy was always bright and bubbly. She always had a joke or a comment, but now she barely speaks. She’s anxious. She’s a completely different kid.

“Are we doing the right thing?”  
“Yes.” Chloe says, no hesitation, “She needs us, and as much as you may or realize it or you may not want to admit it, you need her.”

Beca leans into Chloe’s side and sighs. She feels Chloe’s fingers tangle in her hair and her soft lips press against her temple.

“We’re a family, Bec. We’ll get through it.”

Beca looks up into her eyes and actually smiles; it’s not her usual cocky smirk, but it’s a smile.

“God, I love you.”  
“I love you more.”  
“Not possible, babe.”

She leans in to give Chloe a proper kiss.

“Tell me about your first day back at work.”


	10. Back to Autumn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this took so long. I really kind of hate this chapter which is why I was so apprehensive about posting it. Also it's a two-parter which is why it ends so abruptly.
> 
> I will post the second part as soon as possible.

The next morning, and the few that follow, are all the same; Beca goes to work and Chloe does her best to keep Lucy occupied until she can get home. Beca has taken to texting Lucy and Chloe throughout the day, trying not to get too buried in her work the way she always used to. They fall into a routine and for a minute Beca feels like they’re safe. Until she walks into their apartment on Friday night.

“Babe, I’m home. I stopped and grabbed the pizza like you asked. I hate to say it, but I was right. It’s way too much.”

She kicks the door closed behind her. It’s something about the silence in the room that makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She puts the pizza boxes down and walks, quietly down the hall.

“Chloe?”

After she peeks her head into their bedroom, that’s when she’s hears it. She pushes the door all the way open to the bathroom. Chloe is holding Lucy’s hair back as she vomits into the toilet.

“Lou, you okay?”

Beca takes Chloe’s place without a second thought. She pulls the hair tie from her wrist and puts Lucy’s hair into a bun. She rubs gentle circles on her back and waits until she sits back up.

“What’s going on?”  
“I don’t feel well.” Lucy’s voice is raspy, like it hurts.  
“She started getting sick half an hour ago.”

Something about Chloe’s voice shakes Beca.

“Something you ate?”  
“Right.” Chloe says, with a scoff.  
“Can you stand up?”

Lucy lets Beca help her up and out onto the couch.

“You okay?”  
“Mhm.”

Beca watches her. The way she curls herself into the smallest ball her bones will allow. The way her clothes are bigger around her shoulders and hips than they were a few weeks ago. She covers her with the quilt and kisses her head.

“I’ll be right back.”

She walks into the kitchen and notices Chloe eyeing her. She sighs, she has a feeling a fight is coming.

“Something you want to say, Chlo?”  
“Nope.”  
“Whatever it is, just let me hear it.”

Chloe fills the tea kettle and sets it on the stove to boil.

“It’s nothing you haven’t heard before,” She starts. “I think we need to take her to Stacie, or to any doctor. She’s sick, Beca.”  
“I’m not taking her to the doctor. Kids get sick, she’ll be over whatever this is in a few days.”  
“You seriously think this is some virus?”  
Beca puts a hand on her hip, “What, the whole not eating thing? That’s not what this is.”  
“I’m sorry, when did you get your PhD in pediatrics?”  
“About the same time you got yours in bitchy comments.”

Beca knows she’s gone too far when she sees Chloe recoil. She lets her hand fall down and she drops her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.”  
“No, I know.” Chloe says, earnestly. “I know you didn't, but Bec, I’m scared this is something really serious.”  
“Look, I know my sister, she’ll be fine. We’re not taking her to the doctor. We’ll nurse her back to health the old fashioned way; ginger ale, saltines, cozy blankets, and Netflix. She’ll be as good as new in a couple days, you’ll see.”

Chloe pushes down the gurgling feeling in her stomach. Beca kisses her cheek and goes back out to the living room to check on Lucy.

 

  
By Monday Lucy’s feeling better, or so she says. Beca is buzzing around the kitchen trying to collect everything she needs for work. Chloe sits at the table with Lucy they’re both watching her.

“Bec, don’t forget we have the school tour today at four.”  
“I won’t forget.”

Chloe looks at her over the frames of her reading glasses with raised eyebrows.

“You better send me a reminder text.”

She leans over and gives her a kiss. Beca slings her bag over her shoulder and picks up her thermos of fresh coffee.

“Are you excited to see your new school, Scout?”

Lucy shrugs, she’s sitting at the table because Beca told her she can’t get up until she takes ten bites.

“You love school and this place, from what I hear, is the best.”  
“If you don’t like it, we can look at some others,” Chloe interjects, “but we do need to make a decision soon. School starts next week.”

Lucy nods again, they’ve had this conversation three times in the past three days.

“I’ll see you there at five.”  
“Four.” Chloe corrects.  
“Four. But I gotta go, I’m already late.”

Beca closes the door and the other two are left in silence. Lucy scrapes her fork against her plate, moving the scrambled egg from one side to the other. She bites the inside of her cheek and lets her eyes go blurry over the blue design along the outside edge.

“Lou, how many bites?”  
“Four.”

Chloe has tried but she can’t push aside the fear in her gut. Not taking Lucy to the doctor is the first thing she and Beca have disagreed on when it comes to Lucy. Chloe tried to convince her to go, but Beca is determined to deal with it at home.

“Beca’s gone. Can I be done, please?”

Chloe scrutinizes her. She looks at the purple under her eyes. She looks at her nails, bitten down to nothing. Her hair is drying from the shower, sending her curls into a while halo around her face.

“Yeah, you can be done. Put your dishes in the sink and then go get ready.”  
“We’re going to the museum now?”  
“Mhm.”

Lucy drops her plate into the sink and drinks the last sip of orange juice from her glass before dropping it in too. She gets dressed and pulls her hair back, trying her best to tame the curls with a headband.  
When she comes back to the kitchen Chloe is also dressed comfortably in leggings and a tshirt. Her hair, as usual, is down, flowing past her shoulders. She flings her bag over her shoulder.

“Ready to go?”  
“I guess.” Lucy says with a shrug.

She grips the excess fabric of her sleeves in her fists as she follows Chloe onto the elevator.

“Hey Chloe.”

A young man with a kind smile and cool sunglasses greets her as they step on.

“Hi Gardner, how are you?”  
“Pretty good. Who’s your friend?”

He gestures at Lucy and somehow smiles even brighter.

“This is Lucy, Beca’s sister. She’s going to be living with us now.”

He takes his sunglasses off. His smile falters, only slightly; Lucy only notices because she’s mesmerized by it.

“Oh, that’s awesome.” He extends his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Lucy. I’m Gardner, I’m your upstairs neighbor.”  
“Hi.” She says, shyly.

Chloe wraps one arm around her shoulders and uses the other one to play with her hair. It’s maternal and comforting. It makes her feel sick. She grabs the hem of Chloe’s shirt and squeezes, looking for anything to ground herself with. She doesn’t listen to anything else they say. She watches his smile, the way his eyes light up when Chloe talks and she realizes why she can’t stop watching him, why she’s so fascinated. It’s because it’s the same way Beca looks at Chloe, the same eyes, same smile. She pulls on Chloe’s shirt a little harder to get her attention.

“Chlo, I don’t feel so good.”

She holds her arm across her stomach.

“What? What’s wrong?” She ducks down so she can hear Lucy, she’s speaking in almost a whisper.

“I don’t know. I’m dizzy.”  
“Okay.” She turns to Gardner, “I’m sorry but I need to-”  
“No, no, do your thing. I’ll see you later.” He says placing a hand on her shoulder, “Feel better Lucy.”

He walks out the glass doors, held open by the doorman.

“Luce, I’m taking you to see Stacie.”

Lucy nods. She doesn’t have the fight in her anymore. She closes her eyes and listens as Chloe asks the doorman to get their car. She catches a flash of his hunter green tie out of the corner of her eye. She can’t remember his name, but she can picture his smile and hear his laugh but it all starts to swirl together in her brain.

“Thank you, Anthony.”

Anthony. That’s his name. Lucy likes him. He always has a joke for her. He also likes women’s soccer; they talked about that for almost an hour yesterday. It was one of the first times since everything that Chloe and Beca have seen her speak with any sort of excitement.  
Lucy feels herself swaying. She can’t describe the feeling; it’s just not good. Chloe keeps her hand on the small of her back to keep her upright.

“You okay?”  
“Yeah, I think it’s passing.”

She opens her eyes but Chloe is staring back at her with concerned eyes, her lips barely parted like there’s something else she wants to say.

“Chloe, your car is all set.”  
“Thanks, Anthony.”

Chloe tries not to drive in the city. It’s usually more trouble than it’s worth but she’s not taking any risks with Lucy. She’s already treading on thin ice. She knows Beca isn’t going to be thrilled with her going to Stacie without asking, but she isn’t here and Chloe is out of options.

“Okay, Lou, we’re here.”

Chloe unbuckles herself and grabs her bag. She watches Lucy closely, that’s actually all she’s been doing for weeks. She feels like she knows Lucy better than anyone else on the planet, but in reality they barely know each other at all.

“Why are we here? Stacie isn’t my doctor.”  
“I know, but your doctor is back in Georgia. We haven’t had time to find you a new one yet. I’m sure Stacie will take you on, but if you want another doctor we can find someone else later.”  
“I feel fine.”  
“You feel fine for now,” She corrects, “but clearly your body is catching up with the fact that you’re not eating or sleeping.”

Lucy notices now that her hands are shaking. She puts them under her thighs in hopes that Chloe won’t notice; but of course she already has. She doesn’t want to move; one because she doesn’t want to get poked and prodded but also because she feels sick again. It’s like her whole world spins around one way, then switches and spins the other; an all too familiar feeling.

“It’s nothing bad. Stacie’s just going to take a look at you.”

Lucy doesn’t move and Chloe prepares for a Mitchell style stand off but she catches something in Lucy’s eyes; a slight quake or something so she remains wordlessly steadfast. Lucy sighs and unbuckles her seatbelt. It looks like it takes a little too much effort for her to get out of the car. Chloe holds her hand all the way up to Stacie’s fourteenth story office.  
When they walk in, Stacie is behind the receptionist’s desk, leaning on it, talking to the two women who work there. She pushes herself up and Chloe almost wants to laugh at the expression on her face when she notices them.

“Chlo, what’s going on? Why are you here?”

She looks between both of them quickly.

“Lucy isn’t feeling well and I was hoping you could take a look at her.”  
“Yeah, of course, I was just about to go on lunch so I can take you now.”

She shows them to an exam room and closes the door behind them. She sits on the rolling stool and waits for Lucy to sit on the table.

“So, what’s going on?”

Lucy looks at Chloe and when she speaks her voice is shaky.

“I can’t eat.”  
“You can’t or won’t?” Stacie asks, it’s not accusatory like when Beca asks.  
“I can’t. My stomach hurts all the time.”  
“Okay and when you do eat, can you keep it down?”  
“Sometimes.”  
“Is anything else bothering you?”

Lucy sighs and looks up at the ceiling.

“I get really bad headaches and my chest hurts a lot.”

Chloe’s whole body tenses. She hadn’t mentioned that to them. Stacie puts her hand on Chloe’s knee, sensing her nervousness.

“Okay, can you lay back for me?”

Stacie’s smile doesn’t leave her face; despite the fact that she almost didn’t recognize Lucy when she walked into the office.

“What are you going to do?”  
“I’m going to palpate your stomach to feel for anything that isn’t supposed to be there.”

Chloe nods, with the best smile she can muster to reassure her. Lucy lays back and shivers when Stacie pushes her sweatshirt up. She presses down all over but doesn’t get any responses from Lucy.

“Okay, you can sit up.”

Stacie pulls out her stethoscope and listens to her heart and lungs. Her face scrunches up into something that Chloe can’t figure out.

“I’m going to give you an I.V. You’re dehydrated. I also want to grab our portable ultrasound and take a look at your stomach.”

Stacie walks out of the room to gather everything she needs.

“Why didn’t you tell us any of that?”  
Lucy shrugs, “I was dealing with it.”

Chloe wants to pull her hair out. It is such a typical Beca answer and she knows where this is going.

“No Luce, you weren’t, or have you forgotten where you are?”  
“Why are you yelling at me?” Lucy asks, the shakiness returning to her voice.  
“I’m not,” She shakes her head, “I’m sorry. It’s just, we can’t help you if we don’t know what’s going on. And that’s what we’re here for, to help you through this, all of this.”  
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”  
“Can I let you in on a secret? None of us do. That’s why we need each other. We may be a mess but we can be a mess together.”  
Lucy scoffs, “Yeah okay.”

Stacie comes back and puts in the I.V. and does the ultrasound. She finds nothing.

“Nothing? So what does that mean?” Chloe asks.  
“My best guess? This is all part of what you’re going through.” Stacie’s voice is filled with sympathy, “Grief can effect our bodies, just as much as our minds, sometimes more. Right now your brain is so busy thinking about everything that’s happened that it isn’t telling the rest of your body what to do.”  
Lucy lets out a sniffle, “I’m so tired.”  
“I know,” Stacie pulls her into a hug, “it will get better, I promise. It’s just going to take some time.”  
“So what do we do in the meantime? Clearly she can’t keep going like this.”  
“What I’m going to do is start a food log. Everything that she eats, and whether it stays down or not, needs to be written down. I’m putting her on nutrition supplements to try to supply her body with the vitamins she’s missing. Also, I suggest trying her on melatonin to help her sleep. It’s all natural so you don’t need to worry about drugging her up.”  
“Thanks.”

Stacie writes it all down and hands the paper to Chloe. Lucy empties two bags of fluids before Stacie lets her go.

“Thank you, seriously, so much. I just didn’t know what to do. Beca’s at work and pretty much unreachable and I-”  
“Don’t worry about it. I said I’m here for you guys and I mean that, anything at all.”

Chloe wraps her in a hug and squeezes.

“Love you, Chlo.”  
“Love you too.”  
“Now move. I have patients to see. People who actually made appointments.” She says with a wink. “Bye Lucy, feel better.”  
“Thank you.”

 

“Chlo?”  
“Yeah babe?  
“I’m really sorry.” Lucy says, from the passenger seat with her forehead pressed against the window.  
“What are you sorry about?”  
“You’re kidding, right?”

Chloe glances quickly at her, not wanting to take her eyes off the road for very long.

“I can’t imagine that this is how you pictured things going for you. I mean, raising your girlfriend’s baby sister doesn’t seem like a dream come true.”  
“Is that what you think this is? That I was saddled with you?”  
“I haven’t exactly made life easy for you guys recently.”  
“And that’s allowed. Right now you get to be as upset and sad as you want.”

Chloe pulls into the driveway of their building and puts the car into park before turning to Lucy.

“When you love someone, you love everything they are, and you are a gigantic part of Beca. I’ve loved her for a long time now, but I’ve loved you almost just as long.”  
“I love you too.” Lucy says, sounding almost embarrassed.  
“So all of this,” She gives a noncommittal gesture, “helping you with whatever you need is never an imposition. Ever.”  
“We never made it to the museum.”  
“We’ll go another day.”

Lucy climbs out of the car and follows Chloe into the elevator.

“We need to get ready for your school visit.”  
“Okay.”

  
When they get to the school, Chloe can feel Lucy tense up next to her. The building is much bigger than either of them expected. One of it’s many brick walls is completely covered in ivy. The front lawn is bright green and perfectly manicured; it looks like something out of a storybook.  
  
“Wow, it’s big, like really big.”  
“Don’t be nervous. You’re going to be great.”

Lucy let Chloe dress her in navy dress pants and a button up shirt but now they feel itchy and too small.

“Beca’s late.” Lucy says  
“Are you surprised?” Chloe asks with a scoff.  
“She said she’d be here, right?”  
“She’ll be here. I sent her like six reminder texts.”

A group of girls walk by them. They are all wearing matching uniforms, carrying equipment and laughing. Lucy watches as they turn the corner around the side of the school. One of the girls stops for just a second to turn and look at her before following her friends.

“Hey Lou, sorry, I got here as fast as I could.”

Beca’s cheeks are flushed and her clothes are slightly askew, but those are the only signs that she was in any kind of hurry.

“You’re fine. I told you four but our meeting isn’t until four-thirty.”

Beca pulls Lucy into a hug and kisses her cheek. She wraps her arm around her shoulder and looks at Chloe.

“Wait, you what?”  
“I know you, babe. You would have been late.” Chloe says, with a raised eyebrow.  
“I wouldn’t have.”  
“It’s almost four-fifteen.”  
“Maybe I secretly knew what you did so I was late to make a point.”  
“Is that what happened?” Chloe asks, knowingly.  
“No.”  
“No.” They both answer at the same time.

They both laugh and Beca kisses Chloe.

“Thanks for looking out for me, baby.”  
“Of course. I kinda like you a little bit and want you to stick around.”

When the conversation falls flat Beca looks back down at Lucy who has been completely silent.

“You ready for this, Lou?”  
“I guess so.”  
“Are you feeling okay? You look a little weird.”  
“Gee thanks. I’m fine.”

Chloe cringes. She hopes Lucy doesn’t say anything about going to see Stacie. She never texted Beca; she isn’t sure how she’s going to take it and she wants to tell her herself.

“You must be Lucy.” An unfamiliar voice breaks them out of their bubble.

An older man in a grey suit and maroon tie is standing a few feet away from them. He has a bright white smile and perfectly styled hair.

“Um, yes, that’s me.” She says meekly.  
He extends his hand, “I’m Dean Weaver. It’s nice to meet you.” He turns his attention to Chloe and Beca.  
“I’m Chloe Beale, we spoke on the phone.”  
“Yes, it’s a pleasure. And you must be Beca.”  
“Yes.” She says, taking his hand into a firm handshake.  
“I have to admit I have heard your name. I have a teenaged daughter myself and she is a big fan.”  
“Oh,” Beca blushes slightly, “well tell her thank you. I would love to meet her sometime.”  
“She’s around here somewhere. She’s the captain of the girls’ lacrosse team.” He gestures toward the building, “Shall we?”

They follow him down a large corridor. Beca’s footsteps echo from her high heels and somewhere unseen Lucy can hear some boys yelling and laughing.

“School hasn’t officially started yet but some of our sports teams and clubs have already started preparing for the year. Are you interested in any clubs or activities, Lucy?”

Behind him she shrugs, but Beca elbows her.

“Um, back home I played softball and I was on the debate team, but I don’t know.”  
“That’s perfect, we have both of those here, along with an extensive list of others if you’re looking to change it up.”

They walk into an office, as beautifully decorated as the rest of the school. It is filled with thick books, lining the walls of shelves. It has heavy wooden furniture with black leather linings.

“Please, have a seat. We’ll chat for a bit and then we’ll take a tour.”

When he sits at his desk he looks more worthy of his title. He adjusts his blazer and gives the same smile as before.

“So, Lucy, Chloe gave me a little bit of information but I’m interested to hear about you, well, from you.”  
“Oh, uh, okay.” Lucy shifts in her seat in between Beca and Chloe.  
“Why did you guys move to New York?”

With this question Lucy’s entire body runs cold. She looks at Beca, pleading in her eyes. Beca understands, she rests her hand on Lucy’s knee and clears her throat.

“We recently lost our parents. Lucy came to live with us after their passing.”  
“I’m so sorry to hear that.”  
“Thank you. We all decided New York would be a good change of pace for a little while, right Lou?”  
“Mhm.”  
“Well, I promise you won’t find a better school in the district.”

It’s clear he has no idea what to say.

“Lucy, I must say your test scores and your grades are quite impressive.”  
“Thank you.”  
“We would love to welcome you to the Vanderbilt family. That is, if you’re interested. What do you say?”  
“Yes, please.” Lucy says.

To be honest she doesn’t care much where she goes to school. She’ll just be happy to be somewhere that no one knows her and what happened. Back home she knows if she had gone back to her old school it just would have been a lot of pitying looks and people saying that they’ll pray for her; as if that would help anything. Her parents are already dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	11. Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is part 2 of the last chapter. Hope you like it.
> 
>  
> 
> I listened to the song Insecurities by Jess Glynne, A LOT while writing this. Give it a listen if you feel so compelled.

“Are you excited to see your new school, Scout?”

Lucy shrugs, she’s sitting at the table because Beca told her she can’t get up until she takes ten bites.

“You love school and this place, from what I hear, is the best.”  
“If you don’t like it, we can look at some others,” Chloe interjects, “but we do need to make a decision soon. School starts next week.”

Lucy nods again, they’ve had this conversation three times in the past three days.

“I’ll see you there at five.”  
“Four.” Chloe corrects.  
“Four. But I gotta go to work before I’m late.”

Beca slings her bag over her shoulder and shuts the door behind her. She locks it and starts down the hallway. She gets thirteen texts between their door and the elevator. She’s scrolling through the text chain from work when the elevator dings and the doors slide open.

“Beca, hey.”

She looks up and groans, or at least she wants to.

“Oh, hi Gardner.”

She joins him on the elevator even though everything in her body is telling her to run the other way.

“How are you? How’s your sister?”  
“She’s, um, fine. As good as can be expected I guess.”  
“Oh good.”

Beca doesn’t make eye contact, not that she could. He’s wearing those ridiculous sunglasses of his and he’s a solid foot and a half taller than her. She rocks back and forth, from foot to foot. She can’t get out of the elevator and out the front doors fast enough.

Work is as chaotic as it ever is when she gets there.

“Beca, hey, I’m glad you’re finally here.”   
“Theo, I’m like fifteen minutes late. You could not have been waiting that long for me.”  
“About fifteen minutes.”

She drops her bag on her desk and sits in her chair.

“I looked over those lyrics you sent me. I assume you have something started to go with them?”  
“I do. But I needed to make sure that they were alright before I went further.”  
“They’re incredible, but are you sure you want to do this?”

Beca pauses. She bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes.

“Yeah, I think this is something I have to do.”  
“Okay, then I’m behind you. We’ll get started tomorrow.”

He starts out of the room.

“Hey Theo, thank you.”  
“For one reason or another, it takes a lot for me to doubt you, Mitchell.”

He smiles and closes the door behind him. It only takes him a few seconds to turn back around and open the door again.

“I almost forgot. Matt wants you in recording room B in five minutes.”

She sighs and picks up her phone. She sends a text message to Chloe.  
  
“In and out of recordings all day. See you at 4.”

 

  
“Good work today, Bec. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,” Matt starts, “we’ve missed you. I’ve been stuck with Anderson in here, that idiot doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.”  
“You can say that again.” Beca scoffs.  
“I’m done repeating myself.” Matt jokes, “You wanna grab a drink?”  
“A drink? Now? What time is it?”

Coming out of the darkened recording studios is always a little disorienting.

“Come on, it’s almost happy hour. It’s almost four o’clock.”  
“Shit, I have to go. Rain check.”

Beca basically runs down the hallway to grab her things. She tries to call Chloe but she doesn’t get an answer. She is half expecting a lecture when she gets to the school. She hears them before she sees them.

“She’ll be here. I sent her like six reminder texts.”  
“Hey Lou, sorry. I got here as fast as I could.”

Through the whole meeting she keeps stealing glances at Lucy. She wishes she knew what she was thinking, and feeling. But more than anything she wishes she could take this all for her and let her be a kid again.

Lucy doesn’t let go of her hand the whole time Dean Weaver is talking and she feels her periodically squeeze a little tighter. She runs her thumb over her knuckles and every time Lucy looks over at her she does her best to smile.

“We would love to welcome you to the Vanderbilt family. That is, if you’re interested. What do you say?”

Beca isn’t sure what Lucy is going to say. She knows that this choice isn’t completely Lucy’s to make; she needs to be a parent at some point. She waits with bated breath until Lucy lets out a small smile of her own.

“Yes, please.”  
“Fantastic. Well then,” he says with a slap on the desk, “let’s take a look around.”

 

As they all leave the office Chloe hears Beca’s phone chime with a message. She glances at it quickly but pockets her phone. Chloe tries to grab her hand but Beca puts them both in her pockets.

“So our first stop is the science lab.”

Dean Weaver leads them down so many hallways that Lucy starts to get dizzy. For the entire tour Beca seems suddenly distant. Chloe tries to catch her eye but it’s like she’s purposefully avoiding looking at her.

“And last, but not least, the sports fields.”

Lucy squints against the bright light when he pushes open the gymnasium doors. The land behind the school seems to extend forever. There’s soccer fields, a football field, softball fields, and an outdoor roller hockey rink.

“Woah.” Lucy doesn’t even realize she’s said anything until she hears Beca scoff. “I’m glad this isn’t one of those stuffy private schools where the kids are all too shoved into their books to play sports.”

Beca pinches her arm but she doesn’t retract what she says. Dean Weaver lets out a good humored laugh.

“Quite the contrary actually. We have several nationally ranked athletes and most of our teams competed in their respective championships last season.”

Her eye falls on the same group of girls from before. They are running back and forth on the soccer field but on either end are smaller goals set up. She points in their direction.

“What team is that?”  
“That’s our girls’ lacrosse team.” His beaming smile returns, “They were undefeated last year and we’re expecting them to take the championship this year. We are all about being well rounded here, so we require each student to take part in two extracurriculars, whether that’s sports or academic clubs or theater, that's up to you.”

Lucy looks at her sister, she seems despondent, like she’s barely listening. Chloe steps in.

“We’ll take a look at the catalogue you gave me, we’ll get some ideas.”  
“I think that sounds like a great idea.” Dean Weaver says, “Sign ups and try outs will be about a week after the start of school.”

They follow him back to the front of the school.

“Well ladies, I believe this is where I leave you. Miss Lucy we look forward to having you in our school. I will see you in a week.”  
“Yes sir, thank you.”

She shakes her hand and Chloe can’t help but smile at how diplomatic it all seems. He shakes both Chloe and Beca’s hands and walks back into the school.

 

Beca’s odd behavior continues through dinner; she barely touches her food and she isn’t on Lucy about eating hers like she usually is.

“Goodnight, Lucy.”

Chloe kisses her head and Beca watches her walk wordlessly down the hallway from her spot at the sink. Beca finishes up the dishes and joins her sister in the living room.

“Did you like the school, Scout?”  
“Yeah, it was good I guess.”

Lucy turns her attention back to her book. She’s curled up under her quilt and the lamp is barely illuminating the pages. She can tell that Lucy isn’t actually reading, she hasn’t turned the page since she opened the book. She just needs to keep her hands busy.

“Dean Weaver seems nice. I think you’re going to like it.”

Beca lifts the blanket up and allows Lucy to scoot down under it.

“Comfy?”  
“Mhm.”  
“We’ll get your bed set up this weekend, I promise. I’m sorry it’s taken so long.”  
“Whatever.”

Beca climbs into the bed next to her and shuts off the light. It’s quiet for a while, other than the cars outside and the hum of the refrigerator.

“Are you mad at Chloe?”  
“What? Why would you ask me that?”  
“Because you barely looked at her during dinner. Usually you guys are all gooey and gross.”

Beca feels Lucy’s head lean on her shoulder. A few pieces of her hair tickle her cheek but Beca doesn’t bother to brush them away.

“We’re fine, don’t worry about us. How are you feeling? Are you okay?”  
“I guess.”  
“You’re sure? I could get you some water or something else to eat.”  
“Bec, I’m fine.”

Her voice is fading, she’s starting to doze, mid conversation, the events of the day finally catching up with her.

“Okay, sorry, go to sleep.”

Chloe is already changed and in bed when Beca gets Lucy to sleep. Beca walks over to the dresser and takes off her necklace.

“Bec, did I do something wrong? Because it kind of feels like I’m in trouble.”

Chloe watches her back. The way her shoulders move toward her ears and her muscles tense. She switches her button up shirt for an old T-shirt and puts on sweatpants. It’s barely nine o’clock but the day has felt much too long.

“Beca.”  
“Stacie texted me, while we were at the school.” She says without turning around. “She asked me if Lucy is on my insurance yet.”  
“Oh.”  
“Any idea why she would be asking me that?”

Chloe’s throat feels dry. She didn’t expect to hide it forever, just for tonight.

“We said we weren’t taking her to the doctor and then you just took her anyway.”

Beca turns and Chloe hates what she sees. It’s not anger, just disappointment and that is always so much worse.

“I never agreed to that and It’s not just for you to decide.”  
“So you just go behind my back? That’s not how this works, she’s my sister. She’s my responsibility.”

Chloe pushes herself up to stand on the opposite side of the bed.

“I thought this was something we were in together. But I see now that I don’t have any actual say in it.”

There’s a long pause. Neither of them know what to say. They’ve never been here before.

“That’s not true.”  
“Right. I’m not her sister so I can’t make the big decisions. I’m just good enough to sit around with her all day but not do any of the actual parenting.”  
“I don’t expect you to do any of that.”  
“I’ve told you countless times that I’m here for all of it, and yet, you still don’t want to hear it.”

Beca’s breath is heavy, she blinks rapidly, keeping her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

“Beca, I feel like you don’t trust me with her, not like you say you do.”  
“That’s not it.”  
“Then what is it?”

Chloe can hear the shudder in Beca’s breath. She shakes her head as several tears drip out of her eyes, falling onto the floor. She bites her lower lip and looks over Chloe’s head to a spot on the wall.

“It’s not you. I swear it’s not you. It’s, it’s me, and her, and everything.”

Chloe wants to go to her, but she’s still kind of mad. She watches the way Beca folds and unfolds her arms, the way she doesn’t know exactly what to do with her limbs so she fidgets; the way her dad always told her was unprofessional and unladylike. Her eyes move back and forth but never look into Chloe’s.

“I feel like, we just got her and she’s already sick. I never know what to say to her and now I feel like I’m not around enough and I can’t fix any of it. I feel like I’m failing her already.”  
“Baby, you aren’t failing anyone.”  
“It really feels like I am.”

Beca moves toward Chloe and takes one of her hands in both of hers. She squeezes tightly and tries to stop her breath from doing the hiccup-y thing that she hates.

“You’re doing the best you can and that’s all anyone can ask from you.”  
“But what if it isn’t enough? What if I do my best and she still comes out the other side messed up? What if she never gets over this and she drops out of school, or does drugs, or joins a cult?”

Chloe can’t help but let out a little laugh despite the seriousness of the situation. In all honesty, she's been waiting for this moment. She’s been waiting for Beca’s calm, cool demeanor to dissolve into one mess or another.

“Okay, honey, I think you’re over thinking it.”  
“You can’t overthink the most important thing in your life. I think that’s kind of the point.”

Chloe pulls Beca over to the bed and sits her on the edge. She sits next to her so their thighs are touching.

“The fact that you describe her that way should prove that you can do this. Anyone could take in their sibling, but it takes a big person to make them their priority. The guilt and the fear and the anxiety that you’re feeling right now, that’s all the proof that you need that everything is going to be okay.”

Beca is finally able to pull in a deep breath but the look on her face proves that what Chloe is saying isn’t fully sinking in. She didn’t expect it to. Chloe pulls her in close and kisses her forehead. She runs her hand up and down Beca’s arm and just sits with her.

“I’ve missed you.” Beca says.  
“What do you mean?” Chloe asks, again with a slight giggle.  
“I just, I missed this, we haven’t had any time like this lately.”  
“We’ll start to get this stuff back, it’s just going to take some time.”

Beca lifts her head up and stares into Chloe’s eyes. She leans forward and kisses her; deeper and with more emotion behind it than she feels like she ever has. She pushes her back onto the bed and kisses down her neck.

“Bec, are you sure you want to-”  
“Sh, I’m sure.”

Chloe doesn’t put up any other argument.

 

In the morning Chloe wakes up first. She trails her fingertips along Beca’s spine. The sheet has fallen on her lower back, leaving a plethora of skin exposed to the morning sun. Chloe leans over and kisses her shoulder.

“Beca, baby, wake up.”

Beca groans but she doesn’t open her eyes or even move.

“Bec.”

Beca turns her head toward Chloe. She opens one eye and then the other. A smile breaks out across her face.

“Morning.”  
“Good morning,” Chloe says with a laugh, “are you feeling better today?”  
Beca takes in a deep breath, “How could I not be after last night?”  
“Shut up.”  
“Seriously babe, that was,” She pauses, looking for the right word, “explosive.”

There’s a knock on their door and they are suddenly made very aware of their lack of clothing.

“Thank God, I locked that, huh?” Beca whispers, jumping up to find the closest coverage she can find.  
“Beca?” Lucy’s voice is muffled through the door.  
“Hang on, Scout. I’m coming.”

When she opens the door she is met with a confused and very tired expression. Beca wraps her arms tightly around her torso and leans against the doorframe. Chloe has disappeared into their walk-in closet to get dressed and hide her blazing red cheeks.

“Why was the door locked?”  
“Sorry, I must have done it out of habit last night. What’s up, are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I wanted to go for a run but I obviously can’t go alone. I wanted to ask Chloe to go with me.”

Chloe reappears now dressed in leggings and a long robe.

“I don’t know that a run is a good idea, not until you’re feeling better.” Chloe says and she notes the downtrodden look on Lucy’s face, “But we could take a walk, we need to go to the pharmacy to pick up the stuff Stacie wants you to take. How does that sound?”  
“Alright.”

Lucy walks back down the hallway to find her shoes and wait for Chloe to be ready.

“I’m staying home today.” Beca says. “I’ll go with you guys and then maybe we can do something fun, the three of us.”  
“Really?”

Chloe catches her arm before she is able to walk away.

“Baby, are you sure you’re feeling alright?”  
“You don’t need to worry about me, babe. I’m a rock.”  
“That’s exactly why I’m worried. You don’t need to be a rock for me.”

Beca pulls her into a hug and kisses her cheek.

“I thought you liked the strong silent type.”  
“If that’s what you think you are, then we need a new mirror.”

Beca shoves her gently but pulls her immediately back to her.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”  
“If I don’t get to be a rock, how about we settle for a tree.”  
“I could get behind that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any ideas of the fun thing they could do in the next chapter, let me know! I'm open to suggestions.
> 
>  
> 
> Come yell at me on tumblr: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com


	12. Broken People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! First let me start by apologizing profusely for how long this has taken. I fell into a rut writing this story and struggled really hard with writing this chapter. I have a few ideas for future chapters and hopefully will find some momentum with it soon. As always, thank you for reading and for all of your kind words. I hope you enjoy!

Lucy and Chloe had done a little exploring since they’ve been back in the city but it had been a bit like pulling teeth. Chloe did all of the talking and Lucy trudged along behind her. Then, of course, their museum trip had been derailed by the trip to Stacie. But today, Lucy seems in good spirits.

The weather is perfect, some of the trees already starting to turn to their fall colors and a slight breeze, just enough to keep the sweat off their backs. Lucy walks in between them on their way to the pharmacy. Chloe watches Beca closely; there’s still something off, she’s too stiff and quiet and just not Beca.

When they get to the pharmacy Chloe goes to the vitamin aisle to pick up the stuff Stacie had written down for her. She walks down the aisle slowly looking back and forth between the list and the items on the shelves to make sure she gets the right stuff.

“Chloe, hey.”

She turns at her name and has to look up at the tall figure.

“Gardner, what are you doing here?”  
“Just picking up a few things.”

She looks at his empty hands and raises an eyebrow.

“Toothpaste.” He says, giving his trademark smile. “What about you? Beca leave you a honey-do list?”  
“No, just grabbing a few things myself.” She says, keeping it vague for the sake of Lucy’s privacy.  
“Well if you have some free time today, I’d love to take you for a coffee or something.”  
“Oh, um, actually-”  
“Gardner, what a surprise.” Beca says, appearing behind Chloe, not sounding surprised in the least.

She puts her arm around Chloe but doesn’t take her eyes off of him.

“Hey Beca, no work today?” He asks, one of his hands reaching up to rub the back of his neck.  
“I took a personal day.”  
“Oh, nice. Well, enjoy. I should probably get going.”

Beca gives a tightlipped smile and nods, but Chloe gives a friendly wave. Once he’s out of earshot Chloe turns to Beca looking less than pleased.

“You didn’t have to do that.”  
“Didn’t you find it a little weird that he was here?”  
“In this public pharmacy? Not really, no.”  
“He always just seems to be around; especially lately. I don’t like it.”

Chloe gets a flash of Beca’s face from the night before and she sighs.

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not going anywhere.”  
“It's not you that I’m worried about.”  
“Bec, I know you’re going through a lot right now.”  
“This isn’t about any of that,” Beca says with a bite to her voice that wasn’t there before, “this is about this guy needing to know when to back the hell off.”

She takes the list from Chloe in an attempt to not make eye contact. Chloe notices that same damn wall go up. She puts her hand on the small of Beca’s back and kisses her temple.

“You don’t have to worry about him. I promise.”

Beca nods but it’s pretty clear there’s no changing her mind.

Lucy is standing in front of the rack of magazines, reading over all of the covers until her eye falls on a picture of her sister’s face. It’s one of the trashy tabloids her parents always told her to avoid. The headline reads: Beca Mitchell’s Career Crumbles After Tragedy. She takes a few deep breaths before reaching out to pick it up.

“I wouldn’t if I were you.”

She jumps and pulls her hand back. She turns and Gardner is standing behind her.

“I just mean nothing in there could possibly be true, right?”

She shrugs.

“There’s no way your sister sees it like that.”  
“I guess you’re right. What are you doing here? Don’t you have to be at work or something?”  
“I’m a writer, I work from home. I just came to pick up a prescription.”  
“Oh, that’s cool. What do you write?”  
“Fiction mostly. I’ll let you take a look sometime, but I should be going.”  
“Yeah, right. I’ll see you later.”  
“Sure thing, bye Lucy.”

She watches him leave before walking further down the aisle to look for a notebook like Chloe asked her to. When she finds one she goes to find Beca and Chloe. They have several bottles in their hands and it seems a little intimidating.

“Hey Lou, you all set?”  
“Mhm.”

They pay for everything and walk back outside to the beautiful day.

“What are we doing today?” Lucy asks, she knows Beca didn’t take a day off just to go to the pharmacy.  
“We’re going to Central Park. Beca said you’ve never been and it’s way too nice to be inside somewhere.”

They walk a few blocks before Lucy sees something familiar.

“Isn’t that the Museum of Natural History?”  
“Yup.”

Lucy has always wanted to go. She’s done research on its exhibits and has watched documentaries on some of the artifacts.

“We’ll go one day, I promise,” Chloe says, “but today, we’re going to the zoo.”

Lucy laughs a little and Beca does too, but not without an eyeroll or two.

“Don’t be like that, Bec. I know you love it.”

It’s true. The Central Park zoo was one of the first things they did together when they moved to the city. Chloe wanted to see the animals and Beca just wanted to see Chloe smile. It was a day a lot like this one and Beca can’t wait to see Chloe’s eyes light up and to hear her laugh. It’s been too long since they’ve had a carefree day; so she grips Chloe’s hand in one of hers and Lucy's with the other and they walk around the entire zoo.

Watching Lucy at the zoo, walking hand in hand with them, laughing, and smiling, Beca is almost able to forget; forget the loss and the struggle and all of the bullshit that is going to follow them forever and sneak up at times like this. She should be happy, she knows that, but she also knows that the sunshine and cute animals can only mask the darkness for a few hours.

“Beca, look!” Lucy nearly shouts.

She pulls her hand from Chloe’s and runs to the fence. Beca follows, much slower, but she can’t help but smile when she sees what’s inside the exhibit. She wraps an arm around Lucy’s shoulders.

“Look at how cute they are.”  
“I knew you were gonna freak out.”  
“You knew they were here the whole time and you didn’t say anything?”

Lucy's eyes widen.

“I wanted the red pandas to be the last thing we saw, the big finish.” Beca says, “Did we deliver or what?”

Lucy has already turned back to look at the animals but Beca feels her nod against her shoulder. They stand there for a while, the sun is starting to go down and the breeze is picking up. Beca turns when she hears slight sniffling next to her.

“Lou, you okay?”  
“Can we go home now, please?”

Beca and Chloe make eye contact over her head.

“Sure, let’s go.”

The walk home is silent, except for Lucy’s sniffles and occasional hiccup. When they get home, Lucy plops onto the couch and Beca takes it as a win that she doesn’t run right to her room. Beca and Chloe walk into the kitchen to get her some water and talk in private.

“Are we ever going to have a normal day?”  
“Today was a good day, Bec.”  
“For a while, sure. But it wasn’t a normal day.”

Chloe puts her hand on Beca’s lower back and keeps her voice as soft as possible.

“We’ll figure out a new normal, eventually. It’s only been a month.”  
“Yeah, well it feels like a lot longer than that.”

Beca grabs a glass of water and takes it out to the living room, but Lucy is already sound asleep. Beca pulls the blanket from the top of the couch and covers her. She stops to look at her face, the red circles under her eyes from rubbing the tears away. Beca hesitates, she knows that Lucy can sleep through the night on her own, she’s not a baby, but she also doesn’t want her to wake up alone and get scared.

“She’s fine.”

Beca looks up at Chloe and nods.

“Why don’t you go lay down too? I’ll make you some tea.”

The rest of the night echoes their walk home; quiet and tense. Chloe studies, and Beca works on the stuff she missed at work and they wait to see if Lucy wakes up before morning. She sleeps until ten o’clock before she wakes herself up by nearly rolling off the couch. She stretches her arms over her head and groans.   
She pushes herself up and walks quietly down the hall. She is about to go get into her bed when she hears the television on in Beca and Chloe’s bedroom. The door is cracked and the light from the bedside lamp is glowing into the hallway. She pushes it open and peeks her head in. Beca is staring intently at her laptop and Chloe has a book in her lap.

“Hey sleepyhead.” Chloe greets her with a big smile.

She’s wearing her reading glasses and Lucy smirks. She always thinks she looks so much different with them on. Chloe opens her arms and waits for Lucy to climb into the bed to wrap her up.

“You okay?” Beca asks.

She closes her laptop and rolls onto her side to look at her sister.

“Mhm, I’m sorry about earlier.”  
“Don’t apologize, okay?” Beca says, pushing a piece of hair out of her face.  
“Can we ask what made you so upset?”  
Lucy sighs and shakes her head, “That’s the thing, I don’t know. I just got really sad all of a sudden.”  
“Alright, and that’s okay.” Chloe says, “As long as that sadness isn’t getting to be too much.”  
“What do you mean?”

Beca’s tense shoulders and scrunched up features don’t go unnoticed by Chloe. She reaches her free hand out to intertwine their fingers.

“I mean, as long as it doesn't make you want to hurt yourself or do something that you can’t undo.”  
“No,” Lucy says, her eyes widening, “never, I promise.”  
“Okay,” Chloe says, trying to keep Lucy calm, she plants a kiss on her hair and shushes her, “okay. I’m just checking in with you.”  
“And we’re going to keep checking in with you.” Beca adds.

Lucy falls asleep again quickly against Chloe’s chest.

“Do you want me to move her?” Beca asks.  
“No. she’s fine. I kind of like having her in here with us. It’s one less thing on my mind.”  
“I know exactly what you mean.”

Beca feels tears prick at her eyes and she doesn’t want Chloe to see her cry. She gets out of bed and walks into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She leans against the counter and her eye catches the calendar that Chloe keeps posted near their front door. Lucy starts school in three days and she isn’t sure how any of them are going to take it.

She takes a few sips of her water before she places the glass in the sink and walks back into the bedroom. Chloe has fallen asleep so she turns the lamp and television off and climbs back into bed. Her chest feels heavy and she feels like she can barely breathe but one look at the two of them, wrapped up together, right there, makes it a little easier.

The next morning she isn’t surprised that Chloe isn’t in bed. Lucy is still sound asleep next to her. She looks peaceful for once so Beca tries her best not to wake her.

“Good morning, baby.” Chloe greets Beca from the stove.  
“Morning, something smells good.”

Beca walks up behind her and wraps her arms around her waist, sneaking a peek at what she’s making.

“Eggs, bacon, and pancakes. I figured something here is going to look good to Lucy.”  
“Well, it all looks good to me.”  
“A combo plate coming up.” Chloe says with a smirk. “How did you sleep?”

Beca knows that when Chloe asks this time there’s more to it than usual morning chit chat. Beca pours herself a cup of coffee and takes a long sip before she answers her. She isn’t sure if she wants to answer truthfully or not.

“Fine, I guess.  
“Any nightmares?”  
“Not really.”  
“Beca, I think-”

She’s cut off by Lucy shuffling out into the kitchen and looking, bleary-eyed, between the two of them.

“Good morning.” She greets, her voice is slightly raspy and her face is pale.  
“Hey Lou.”  
“Hi sweet girl. Thanks for being my cuddle buddy last night.”  
“Any time.”

Lucy sits at the table and lets Chloe put a plate of food in front of her. Along with it she puts the bottles of vitamins and her probiotics on the table.  
  
“I know this looks like a lot but you’ll get used to it, I promise.”

It takes almost an hour and a half for her to eat a quarter of the food on the plate and take all of the pills.

“I’m done.” Lucy says, pushing the plate away from her.

Chloe tries her best not to look disappointed, she knows Lucy is trying.  
“Okay, we’ll write that down, and then we need to get ready to go shopping.”

Lucy and Beca both groan.

“Yeah, yeah, I think you’ll survive. We need to do it unless you want to start at your new school naked.”

Lucy laughs and walks out of the room to get dressed.

 

  
“I look like a total nerd.” Lucy groans.  
“Yeah, but the good news is everyone is going to look just as nerdy as you do.” Beca says.

Lucy pulls at the plaid skirt she’s trying on and then wraps her arms around her torso, the white button up shirt pulling at her shoulders.

“Beca, leave her alone. I think you look adorable.”

Beca and Lucy both roll their eyes.

“She could be wearing a trash bag and you’d think she looks adorable.” Beca says.  
“Because she would.”  
“Can I wear pants instead?”

Chloe picks up the school handbook they received during their meeting with Dean Weaver.

“I don’t see anything in the rules against it. Would you be more comfortable in pants?”  
“Definitely.”  
“Okay, then pants it is.” Beca says.

Lucy walks back into the dressing room to change into her own jeans.

“You think she’s doing okay?” Beca asks, scratching at her temple.  
“She seems to be.” Chloe says, pulling Beca’s hand into her own, “I think she’s just nervous about fitting in.”

Lucy has been tightlipped, as usual, about her new school. She and Chloe have been looking over the catalogue of extracurriculars and making calls to her old school to make sure everything is in place for when she starts in two days.

“You couldn’t pay me enough to be a teenager again.” Beca says, shuffling the few articles of clothing they’ve already decided on.

She holds up a shirt they picked out and scrunches up her face.

“What’s wrong?”  
“It’s just so small.”  
“I know but those supplements and the food journal, well, they’re a step in the right direction, right?”   
“Mhm.” Beca hums, clearly not convinced.

Lucy walks out of the dressing room, now dressed in her own clothes and eyes both of them, suspiciously, when they stop talking and look at her.

“I know you were talking about me. You guys are really bad at hiding stuff, you know that?”

They share a look and Chloe has to turn her head away to keep herself from laughing. Lucy takes the clothes from Beca and slings them over her arm. Beca pushes her lightly which makes her laugh.

“All set, kid?”  
“I was all set an hour ago.” Lucy says, looking pointedly at Chloe.  
“I got excited, sue me.”  
“I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer.”

Lucy leans on Beca when they walk out of the store and start walking back toward their car.

“Is it time to go home yet?”  
“One more stop.” Beca says.

She’s thankful that Lucy doesn’t ask any more questions. When they get in the car, Lucy sticks her headphones in her ears and closes her eyes, one of the only ways she can drive comfortably in a car.

After about half an hour, Beca is pretty sure she’s fallen asleep. She sneaks a look to the backseat and she is sure of it; Lucy’s breathing is even, her mouth is slightly open and her hair has fallen half in front of her face.

“She’s so cute when she’s sleeping.”  
“Now who’s obsessing over her?” Chloe asks, smugly.  
“She’s my baby sister, I’m allowed to obsess over her.”  
“Mhm.”  
“She’s gonna lose her damn mind.” Beca says.

The smirk hasn’t left her face since they left the store and she can barely contain her excitement herself.

“She needs this.”  
“I agree.”

When they pull up to their destination neither of them wake Lucy. Instead Beca gets out of the car and opens the trunk.

“She’s sleeping.” She says, slinging the suitcase into the trunk.  
“Are you going to wake her?”  
“I thought you could do the honors.” Beca says, receiving a big hug.

Lucy’s door opens, slowly so she doesn’t topple out. Her earbuds are gently taken from her ears which is enough to rouse her from her nap. Her eyes blink open and she pushes the hair from her face.

“Hi Scout.”

It takes a second, and then another, before she tries to sit forward. The seatbelt locks and she struggles for a couple seconds before she is able to undo it and lunge forward to take Emily into the tightest hug she can manage.

“I missed you so much.”  
“You’re here.”  
“I am.”

When they pull apart Beca can’t help but laugh at the confused look on her sister’s face.

“Why are you here?”  
“I couldn’t miss your first day of school.” Emily says, climbing into the backseat of the car.  
“No way, why are you really here?”  
“I have a conference here tomorrow and Sunday but I’m going to stick around for a few days after that. Is that okay?”  
“Duh.”


	13. Are There Any Survivors? (Am I Here Alone?)

“Did you check in with Mrs. Reed?” Lucy asks.  
“I did and she wouldn’t let me leave without these.”

Emily pulls a cookie tin out of her bag and Lucy puts her head down and smiles. She takes it and hugs Emily.

“Thank you for doing that.”  
“Of course.”  
Lucy looks at Beca, “Can I go call her?”

Beca smiles and nods. She watches her walk out of the room before turning back to Emily and speaking quietly.

“Seriously, thank you for doing that. I know she’s been worried about her.” Beca pauses, then scoffs, “It’s so weird. She had this whole world back in Georgia that I have no idea about. I get little glimpses, you know, when she mentions Mrs. Reed or talks about what you guys would do together, but,” She shakes her head, “I don’t know. I feel like thinking about anything before all of this just seems wrong.”  
“Things like this can feel too big to look past.”

Beca nods. Her shoulders sag and she leans more heavily against the back of the chair.

“Anyway, how are things with you?”  
“Good.” Emily tries to stop the smile that creeps onto her face but she can’t help it. “I, um, I met someone.”

Chloe turns around from her spot at the stove and Beca sits up straighter again.

“Oh yeah?”  
“What’s he like?” Chloe asks, coming to join them at the table, temporarily forgetting the food.  
“His name is Keegan, he’s a new professor at Barden.”  
“That’s great, Em.” Beca says.  
“Yeah, he’s great. We’ve only been seeing each other for a couple weeks, we’re taking things really slow, mostly because of Ella.”  
“Ella? Please tell me that's not an ex-wife.” Beca says, with a grimace.  
“No, it’s his daughter.”

Both women are silent for a minute.

“I know what you’re going to say. A kid is-”  
“I think it’s great.” Chloe says, cutting her off.  
“You do?”  
“Totes. I mean, it’s a different situation, sure. But having a daughter probably makes him more cautious which isn’t a bad thing. It probably means that he’s not going to rush into anything with you and that he’s thinking of his daughter. Those are all good things.”

Emily lets it all sink in. Beca can tell she’s letting it all process because she has the same look on her face she used to get when they would learn a new arrangement.

“I just don’t want to tell Lucy yet. If that's okay with you guys.”  
“Hey, legacy, it’s your business.” Beca says, raising her hands in front of her.

Beca stands to take over the cooking while Chloe and Emily chat more about Keegan and Emily’s work for the university.

After dinner Emily puts her plate in the sink and turns to look at Lucy.

“Hey Scout, feel like taking a walk with me?”  
“Sure.”

When they step outside, Lucy wraps her arms around herself, it’s a little cooler than she thought it was and the wind against her bare arms gives her goosebumps.

“Are you getting used to it around here yet?”

Lucy shrugs.

“Yeah, well, it’s only been like a week so I get that. What about school, are you excited for that?”  
“I don’t know.”

Emily sighs. It was never this hard getting Lucy to talk to her before, she misses the easy conversation they used to have.

“It’s a chance to start over, right? So that’s good at least.”

Lucy looks up with just her eyes, her head still tilted down toward her feet as she walks.

“I think this is going to be really good for you. It’s a new place where no one knew your parents. So you can tell them as much or as little as you want.”  
“I don’t want to tell them at all.”  
“I don’t think that’s a great idea. You deserve friends, real friends, that know you. I really hope you don’t think this is something to be ashamed of.”

Lucy shrugs. She finally looks up when an ambulance flies past them with its sirens blaring.

“This is something you never should have gone through and it’s something that is going to make you stronger.”

Lucy lets out a heavy sigh that mixes with the night air. When she speaks, it shakes.

“That doesn't really seem fair. That I have to go through all of this just to make me strong.”  
“You just have to believe that there’s a bigger reason for it.”  
“Whatever reasons the universe has, none of them could ever be good enough for me.”

Emily reaches out to take Lucy’s hand in her own.

“But I’ll try, with the other kids I mean.”  
“Good.” Emily stops in front of a small bodega on the corner. “What do you say we grab some ice cream?”

Lucy smiles and nods, Emily is finally able to take a deep breath. She didn’t know what she would be walking into after only a few weeks; she still isn’t sure. But in that smile she sees the slightest glimpse of the old Lucy and it gives her hope.

  
Monday morning comes much too quickly for all of them. Having Emily around has been incredible; it’s lightened the mood and given Lucy something to do. But now it’s time, once again, to return to reality and they are all dreading it.

Chloe peeks her head into Lucy’s bedroom to find her still sound asleep in her bed. She has a light blanket pulled up over her face but one of her feet is sticking out. Chloe walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, pulls the blanket back and kisses Lucy’s cheek.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”  
“No.” Lucy groans.   
“It’s your first day of school, lets get moving.”

Lucy opens one eye and then another. She looks up at Chloe like a sad puppy.

“It’s gonna be great, Lou.”  
“You don’t know that.”

Emily walks into the room, holding a mug of coffee. She leans against the wall and watches the interaction. She’s loved watching Chloe and Beca in this new arrangement; of course she wished it didn’t happen in the way it did, but she always pictured the two of them with kids. Chloe, outwardly loving and soft spoken, Beca giving tough love, but deep down loving harder than anyone else ever could; they are the perfect match.

Lucy sits up and gives a sleepy smile to Emily. Her hair is pushed up and matted against the left side of her head and it makes Emily laugh.

“Chlo, she doesn’t even need to get ready, she looks great as is.”  
“Shut up.” Lucy says, tossing a pillow at her but missing on purpose.  
“If you get going I can curl your hair.” Chloe says.

Lucy swings her legs over the side of the bed and walks over to her closet. She has several days worth of uniforms put together, hanging side by side. She picks the short sleeve button up, shorts and the white sneakers. She ushers the other two out of the room so she can get dressed and when she walks out into the kitchen Beca is placing a plate of eggs and bacon on the table.

“Hey Lou.”  
“Hi, aren’t you going to be late for work?”  
“I told them I was taking the morning to take you to school.”

Lucy smiles into her plate and all of them pretend not to notice. She pushes the food around and takes a few bites here and there but she is fighting the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. She drinks her juice and takes all of her vitamins. Chloe, dutifully, writes it all down and closes the book.

Emily appears from the bathroom wearing a dress and a blazer, slipping on her heels as she walks.

“I have to go, I have a seminar at nine but I’ll be around tonight for you to tell me all about your first day.”

She drops a kiss to Lucy's head, gives a wave to Beca and Chloe and leaves.

“Alright, that’s our cue too, or else you’re going to be late.”

Chloe tries her best to fill the silence on their walk to the school but Lucy tunes her out. She focuses on her breathing, she can hear her blood pumping in her ears and her hands are shaking but she tries her best not to let it show. She doesn’t notice either of them stop and she runs right into Beca.

“Sorry.”  
“That’s alright. You ready? Do you have everything you need?”  
“I think so.” Lucy says, hiking her backpack higher up on her shoulder.  
“Do you want me to walk you in or is that totally lame?”

Lucy wants to say yes. She wants Beca to stay with her all day but she knows its better to just rip the bandaid off right now.

“I think I’m good.”  
“Okay then.”

They all stand. None of them want to make the first move. Eventually Beca pulls her into a tight hug and whispers in her ear.

“Be brilliant.”

It’s something their dad used to say to them. Lucy’s breath catches in her throat but it gives a strange feeling of courage, like Beca had cast a spell on her. She nods and moves over to give Chloe a hug.

They both watch her until she disappears into the building. Chloe takes Beca’s hand in hers.

“She’s gonna be great.”  
“Yeah, I know.” Beca doesn’t sound convinced.

  
Lucy looks at the piece of paper with her locker assignment on it, but it doesn’t do much good because she doesn’t even see any lockers. She stops in the main lobby of the school and looks around her. There are kids jumping on each other and yelling, others are standing in circles laughing and talking loudly. She grips her backpack strap and takes a deep breath. She starts in the direction that she thinks may lead to her locker.

“You’re new.”

There’s a boy suddenly in front of her. He is about an inch shorter than her but his volume is enough to rival Amy. She takes a step back.

“At least I think you are. I’ve never seen you before and I’ve been going here since kindergarten. So, you’re either new or very good at hiding.”

Lucy doesn’t know what to say, or if she should say anything at all. She notices a girl standing a few inches further away but watching the whole thing. She’s hoping if she stays quiet they’ll think she’s weird and leave her alone, but then Emily’s words echo in her head, It’s a chance to make a new start. So she smiles and nods her head.

“I’m new, although I am a nationally ranked hide-and-seeker.”

She waits, holding her breath, she’s never been known as the funny one. The boy laughs as the girl gives a dramatic sigh.

“Thank God, we’ve been looking for a fifth for our team.”

Lucy doesn’t hold back her own laugh.

“I’m Penelope, but everyone calls me Poppy, and this loud mouth here is Matteo.”  
“I’m Lucy.”  
“Are you looking for your locker?” Matteo asks, taking the paper from her hand, “Oh, you’re right near us. We’ll show you.”

Lucy follows them in the opposite direction that she had been heading before.

“So, did you just move here or something?” Poppy asks.  
“Yeah, from Georgia.”  
“Ooh, a southern belle.” Matteo says, with a horrible drawl that reminds Lucy of her old Spanish teacher.  
Poppy elbows him, “Just ignore ninety percent of what he says, that’s what we do.”  
“Hey, your dad said you have to start being nicer to me or he’s going to give you detention.”

Lucy quirks an eyebrow.  
  
“Oh yeah, I might as well tell you now, my dad is the dean.”  
“For real?”  
“Yeah, so I get it if you want to run the other way.”   
“I tried but she got her talons in me before I could.” Matteo says. She hits him again. “See?”  
“I think I’ll take my chances.”  
“Cool. You can sit with us at lunch.”

Lucy’s heart skips. She hadn’t expected this, definitely not on the first day. She looks at the paper again and realizes her first class is in the room right near her locker. She walks inside and gets ready. It’s English, this makes her feel a little better. She’s good at English. She sits at the first open desk she sees. Poppy and Matteo follow her and sit at the desks behind and next to her. She fights the urge to smile, but it disappears quickly as soon as the teacher enters the room. He is a tall man with a slight bald spot, a cleanly pressed suit paired with a tie, and scruff covering the lower half of his face. She swallows around the lump in her throat. She stares at him and blinks away the image of her dad that overlays his own face.

“Good morning, settle down,” he says to quiet the murmuring conversations that are still happening, “thank you. Hello everyone, as some of you know, I am Mr. Proctor.” His eyes fall onto Lucy, “For those of you who don’t, nice to meet you.”

He carries on to talk about the syllabus and the first few assignments, just as all of her teachers do, but she can’t focus. The day seems long, it feels like she hasn’t been to school in years. Normal things feel odd now, like she shouldn’t be doing them without her mom and dad.

“Lucy over here.” Poppy’s voice carries across the noisy cafeteria.

Lucy walks awkwardly across the room, she feels like everyone is watching her. She sits in the empty chair next to Matteo with her bagged lunch that Chloe packed for her this morning.  
  
“Hey, new girl.” He greets her, already with jelly all over his face.  
“Lucy, this is Alice and Lincoln.”

Two more girls give gentle waves. She is starting to get overwhelmed by all the new faces and she can’t wait to go home.

“So you’re from Georgia? That’s so cool.” One of the girls, Alice, says.

She’s small, just like Lucy. She has hair so light that it’s almost white that falls on her shoulders.

“Yeah, it was alright. Really different than here.”  
“What made your parents wanna move here?” Lincoln asks.

She’s tall, with dark hair and beautifully tanned skin. Her hair falls down past her shoulders in perfect curls and she has her button up shirt sleeves rolled up to her elbows; which Lucy knows is a violation of the dress code. Before Lucy can answer her question another boy walks over to their table.

“Hi Poppy, hey Lincoln.”

He doesn’t acknowledge any of the others at the table, he just stares at Lincoln. She gives him a half smile.

“Hi Weston.”

Other than a polite greeting she doesn’t give him any more attention. He waits to see if she’s going to say anything else, when she doesn’t he walks away.

“Weston Dillinger has had the biggest crush on Lincoln since forever.” Poppy says.  
“You’re not interested?” Lucy asks, not really sure why she cares.

Lincoln just shrugs. For the rest of lunch, and for the rest of the day, Lucy is able to fade into the background. By the time the final bell rings she’s fully convinced she’s never been so tired.

She packs all her new textbooks and supplies into her bag, already saddled with a load of homework. She slings it onto her back and nearly falls over. When she makes it outside Chloe is waiting for her. She’s already found a group of moms and she is chatting away happily. Lucy walks up and waits patiently by her side. She’s a little embarrassed when she realizes that none of the kids her age have a parent waiting for them and all of the moms she’s talking to have little kids. Chloe bids them goodbye and turns her attention to Lucy.

“Hi sweet girl, how was your first day?” She asks.

She takes Lucy’s backpack with a small huff.

“It was pretty good.”  
“Yeah? That’s great.”

She had half expected her to be completely silent for the rest of the afternoon, but she has seen such a huge difference in her demeanor since Emily came to town.

“You like your classes and your teachers?”  
“Mhm.”  
“Did you make any friends?”  
“There were a couple kids I talked to.” She says, adding another shrug, trying her best to feign indifference.

When they get back to the apartment, it’s the quietest that it’s been in days. Lucy flings herself onto the couch and looks around the room.

“Where’s Em?”  
“She’s spending the afternoon with Stacie and Bella. She’ll be back later. Are you hungry, do you want a snack?”  
“No, I should probably get started on my homework.”

She picks up her bag and Chloe wonders how she doesn’t just fall over. She closes her bedroom door behind her and almost immediately Chloe can hear classical music playing. She settles at the table to do her own schoolwork that has been sorely disregarded for far too long.

  
She is still at the table, hunched over her laptop and textbooks, when Beca gets home a few hours later. She drops her stuff by the door and kisses the top of Chloe’s head before she takes the seat next to her. Chloe peels her eyes off the seemingly endless text to look at Beca; already staring into Chloe’s tired eyes, giving a sparkling smile.

“Hi gorgeous.”  
“Hi baby, how was work?”  
“Eh,” Beca flings a hand in front of her, “crazy as usual. Anderson was an idiot, Theo’s on my ass about a new project, and our newest artist is a tween with a serious attitude problem.”

Chloe can’t help but laugh at the last part. She knows dealing with the other artists is Beca’s least favorite part of her job. Chloe pushes a piece of hair behind Beca’s ear and rests her hand on her thigh.

“Speaking of tweens, where’s Lou?”  
“In her bedroom, I went in to give her a cup of tea about an hour ago but I haven’t seen her since.”  
“I’m gonna go check on her.” Beca leans in and kisses Chloe, a proper kiss this time. “I missed you today.”

Chloe smiles and Beca leaves the room. When she knocks on Lucy’s bedroom door, she isn’t completely surprised when she doesn’t get an answer. She pushes the door open and scoffs. Lucy is asleep sitting at her desk, her cheek pressed firmly into the page of her history textbook. Beca won’t be surprised if when she sits up she has a paragraph about the Boston Tea Party imprinted on her skin. Her mouth is slightly open, her hair cascading over her shoulders and down her back. She’s only changed out of half of her uniform, her button up shirt now matched with a pair of Barden sweatpants. Beca walks over and gently places her hand on Lucy’s lower back, not wanting to startle her. She hears Lucy make a nearly inaudible grunt before her eyes flutter open and she almost falls out of her chair. She sits up looking like she is on another planet.

“Good morning, sunshine.”  
“It’s morning already?”

Lucy looks up at her and rubs her eye.

“No, it’s 6:15. At night. It’s time for dinner. Why don’t you finish changing and then come out to the kitchen.”  
“Mkay.”

Beca kisses her head and leaves her to change.

“Was she sleeping?” Chloe asks. Beca nods. “I had a feeling. She looked tired when I picked her up this afternoon.”  
“It was a big day for her. Did she say anything to you?”  
Chloe shrugs, “Not much.”

Beca is about to say something but Lucy walks into the room; now fully changed into her pajamas. She walks over to Beca and leans into her side.

“What do you want for dinner?”  
“I don’t care.”  
“Leftovers it is, because I don’t feel like cooking.” Beca quips.  
“Seconded.” Chloe says, hand raised above her head.

Beca pulls out cold pizza and Chinese take out containers. They all fill a plate and Beca puts more on Lucy’s when she isn’t looking. Lucy sits down and brings one knee up to her chest. She rests her cheek on it and sighs.

“So Scout, tell me about your day. How was school?”  
“It was school, I don’t know.”

Her tone is suddenly defensive and Beca knows better than to keep asking questions. Unfortunately Chloe doesn’t.

“You said you made some friends. Who are they, what are they like?”  
“They’re just people. I talked to them for like twenty minutes.”  
“What about your teachers, did you like them?”  
“Can we just talk about something else?”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing, God, just leave me alone.”  
“Hey,” Beca interjects, her voice is stern, “don’t be rude. If you don’t want to talk that’s fine, but you don’t talk to Chloe, or me, that way, ever.”

Lucy stands up.

“Where are you going?”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
“Sit your butt in that chair.”

Emily opens the door but when she hears the tone in Beca’s voice she closes it as quietly as possible and stands out of the way.

“I don’t feel like it.”  
“I don’t know what your deal is, why all of a sudden you’re so angry, but you need to listen to me.”  
“Why do I have to? You’re not my mom, Beca.”  
“Yeah, well I’m all you have left. So you better get used to it.”

Lucy pushes her chair in too hard, it knocks against the table and sends a glass of water toppling over. She storms down the hallway but not before Beca gets a glance at the devastated look on her face. The bedroom door slams closed and Beca drops herself down into her chair. She shakes her head and puts her hand over her mouth.

“Beca.”  
“I just fucked up, Chlo. I shouldn’t have said that.”  
“We all say things when we’re upset.”  
“What I said was shitty and it was a major overreaction.”

Emily clears her throat and they both realize for the first time that she’s there.

“Oh, Em, I’m, uh, sorry you had to see that.”

Emily shakes her head and takes the seat next to Beca. Chloe starts to pick up the spilled water and dishes.

“You don’t have to do that.” Emily says.  
“Do what?” Beca asks.  
“Pretend like you have it all together and like things are going smoothly. It’s only been a few weeks.”  
“She’s my sister, I feel like I should be better at comforting her. I feel like I should know her better.”

Emily moves over to sit in the chair next to her.

“Some things we need to get through on our own. You can’t help her with all of it, no matter how hard you try. And I think there’s some healing you need to do before she’ll be completely okay.”  
“I don’t know what that means.”  
“It means you lost them too, Bec. You’re focusing all of your attention on her, putting all of the pain on her, because it’s easier than admitting that you’re feeling the same things she is.”  
“It’s worse for her. She lost both parents. I lost one.”  
“You’re going to sit here and tell me that Sheila wasn’t just as much your mom as she was Lucy’s? Because I don’t think you actually believe that.”

Even with her back turned, Chloe can hear the hitch in Beca’s breathing and she knows what’s coming next.

“How am I supposed to replace them?” Beca says through hiccuping breaths.  
“You’re not. No one would ever expect you to. Your job is to keep that little girl safe and to raise her to be someone Daniel and Sheila would be proud of; someone like you.”

Beca falls into sobs and collapses into Emily’s waiting arms. Chloe takes the opportunity to slip out of the room and down the hall. She knocks on Lucy’s door but doesn’t get an answer. She knocks one more time before opening the door anyway.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Lucy says, without turning her back.

She is lying on her side, facing the window. Chloe walks over and sits on the edge of the mattress.

“I don’t blame you.”

Lucy turns her head, only slightly, when it’s Chloe’s voice and not Beca’s. She expected to get yelled at, to be punished. Instead, Chloe places a gentle hand on her hip and continues in a soft voice.

“We never want to talk about the hard stuff. We talk about books and movies and weird things we see people do on the street because it’s easier than talking about what’s actually going on, right? But sooner or later we’re going to need to talk.”

Lucy doesn’t say anything but she sits up and criss-crosses her legs. She looks up at Chloe and waits for her to continue.

“You and your sister are a lot alike. I know I’ve told you that before but right now, those similarities aren’t really the good ones. Right now you’re bravado and your stubbornness are making this really hard. Not just for yourselves but for each other.”  
“What do you mean?” Lucy asks, hesitantly.  
“I mean, if you two would just talk to each other, really talk about what you’re feeling then I think we would be in a better place.”  
“I don’t think talking is going to help us.”  
“It’s worth a shot though, right?”

Lucy’s eyes flit around the room, looking for something to focus on, but every time she gets pulled back to Chloe’s eyes.

“I didn’t like what she just said.”  
“Then you need to tell her that.”  
“Fine.”

Lucy walks back out to the kitchen and pauses in the doorway when she sees Beca crying. She hasn’t really seen her cry during all of this and it makes her stomach hurt. She grips Chloe’s hand tighter before she hears her whisper, ‘it’s okay.’ She steps forward and clears her throat.

“Beca, can I talk to you?”

Beca wipes her eyes before she sneaks a look at Emily who nods. Emily follows Chloe out of the room.

“I’m sorry for pushing the chair.”

Beca crosses her arms over her chest and looks up at Lucy.

“But what you said hurt my feelings.”  
“And I’m sorry for that.” When Beca speaks, it’s slow, “But there’s something you need to understand. When I tell you to do something, or not do something, it’s for your own good. And I’m gonna make mistakes and I’m gonna mess things up because I’m new to this. Like what I just said, that was a mistake.”  
“I’m sorry for being so moody.”  
“You don’t need to apologize. Trust me, the moodiness, I get it.”

Lucy quirks an eyebrow.

“You do?”  
“I do,” Beca pushes a piece of hair out of Lucy’s face, “I cried in a bathroom stall for twenty minutes yesterday because I was working on a song and a few of the chords vaguely sounded like Blackbird.”  
“Dad loved the Beatles.”  
“Exactly.”

Lucy makes an ‘O’ shape with her lips.

“I didn’t know you cry. Not until, like, right now.”  
Beca scoffs, “Of course I do. I’m sorry I tried to hide that from you. It wasn’t fair for me to make you think you were alone in all of that sadness.”

Lucy pulls her sleeves down over her hands, staring at the grey fabric. Beca taps her knee to make her look back up at her.

“We’re all sad right now and I wish I could tell you when it was going to go away, but there is one thing I can tell you.”  
“What is it?”  
“All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”

Lucy’s lips turn up slightly on the left side and there is a nearly unnoticeable shake of her head.

“Helen Keller.”  
Beca nods, “They’re not gone, Lou. They’re just here in a different way. And I think we’ve both, maybe, been a little afraid to make the other person mad.”  
“So what do we do?”  
“We make a promise. We’re honest with each other and the other person needs to listen and whatever the situation may be, we work it out together.”  
“Okay, that sounds fair.”

Beca reaches her pinky out and Lucy smirks before wrapping her own around it.

“So, can I ask you a question now, and you promise not to get mad?”  
“Sure.”  
“How was school?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com
> 
> Chapter title from the song Survivors by Passenger, the acoustic version inspired this chapter quite a bit.


	14. The Whole World is Moving (and I'm Standing Still)

The next morning, when her alarm goes off for school, Lucy’s stomach doesn’t have the same twisted up feeling it did the day before. Now she knows there will be a few friendly faces there. She dresses in nearly the same outfit as yesterday; she definitely could get used to not worrying about what to wear.

“Hey Scout,” Beca peeks her head around the door, “I’m going to work but I’m gonna pick you up today.”  
“You are?”

Beca senses a hint of… something. Lucy pulls her hair up into a ponytail.

“Yeah, I was going to leave work early. I thought we could grab dinner just the two of us.”  
“Oh, um, okay.”  
“What?”

Lucy shakes her head.

“Honesty, remember?”

Lucy hesitates but eventually she sighs and says,

“It’s just, people know you.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You’re like, famous, and it’s kind of easy to forget that because you’re just my sister but now that I’m in New York it’s more obvious. I just want people to get to know me for me first.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry,” Beca says, shaking her head, “that’s fair. I didn’t really think about it. I’ll have Chloe pick you up and we can go to dinner after.”

As quickly as she appeared, she’s gone and Lucy scrunches up her face to try to get the weird feeling in her gut to go away.

 

 

  
“Lucy, hey!”

Lucy tenses when she hears her name and she is still holding Chloe’s hand. She pulls her hand away and turns, instead gripping her backpack strap. She looks around for the face to match the voice. Amongst all the other kids in their navy and white, her eyes land on Poppy.

“Oh, hi Poppy.”

Poppy walks over, her smile even whiter than Lucy remembers it being. She pushes a piece of hair behind her ear and Lucy notices her eyes flit between her and Chloe.

“Hi, I’m Poppy.”

She, so diplomatically, extends her hand for Chloe to take, which of course she does; offering her own smile. They somehow mirror each other and Lucy feels weird.

“I’m Chloe, it’s nice to meet you.”  
“We should probably go.” Lucy interrupts, maybe a little too loudly, “We don’t wanna be late for English.”  
“Yeah, okay.” Poppy says, following Lucy closely.

Lucy feels guilty and if she were being honest, she doesn’t really know what made her do that. She sends a little wave to Chloe who smiles and blows a kiss to let her know all is forgiven.

“Is that your sister or something?”

Lucy thinks about lying but all of her ideas seem awful. She grips her backpack strap tighter and speaks quietly.

“She’s my sister’s girlfriend.”

It doesn’t occur to her that she might not be okay with them both being girls until it leaves her mouth. But Poppy doesn’t waver.

“That’s nice that she brought you to school today.”  
“Yeah, they don’t want me walking from our house alone.”  
“That’s fair, and hey, it could be worse. You could show up in the same car as the Dean every day.”

Lucy waits for more questions but they don’t come.

 

 

  
Chloe watches Lucy and Poppy walk together until they disappear through the oversized doorway. She turns to start walking home but stops when she notices Gardner at the newsstand across the street. She furrows her brow and debates whether or not she should talk to him. She knows Beca wouldn’t like it but she can’t be rude. She crosses the street in front of a bus, and taps him on the shoulder. When he turn his face brightens.

“Chloe, what are you doing here?”  
“I’m dropping Lucy off at school,” She gestures behind her, “what are you doing here?”  
“I had to drop a couple things off at my publisher, a few blocks away, and I just hit a wall. Eight A.M. Is a little earlier than I’m used to.”

He grabs his coffee from the man working and hands it to Chloe. He gives the man a gesture and he seems to understand what it means because he starts to make another.

“Lucy goes to Vanderbilt, huh? She must be one smart cookie then.”  
“You can say that again. She’s so much like her mom, it’s a little hard to be around her sometimes. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for Beca.”  
“I don’t want to be rude, but can I ask what happened?”  
“It was a car accident. I guess there had been some heavy rain that night and the car skidded off the road and into an embankment.”  
“That’s terrible, I’m so sorry.”  
“Thanks, and thank you, for the coffee.” She says, lifting the cup up.  
“No problem. Can I walk you home?”  
“Sure.”

 

 

  
Beca walks into work and plops herself down into one of the rolling chairs in the conference room.

“What’s wrong with you?”

She fights the urge to roll her eyes when her least favorite coworker, Anderson, is the first one of speak to her.

“Why do you care?”  
“I don’t. You’re just really annoying when you’re moody.”

This time she does actually roll her eyes. She takes a sip of her coffee.

“My sister doesn’t want me to pick her up from school today because she doesn’t want anyone to recognize me.”  
“Yeah,” Matt chimes in, “that makes sense. You’re blowing up, Mitchell. It’s bound to happen.”  
“And it has, I guess. I just never thought about how it would affect her.”  
“A little selfish if you ask me.” Anderson says.  
“It’s a good thing no one asked you then.”

Matt interferes before anything can escalate.

“There must be so much going through your mind. It’s impossible for you to think of everything.”  
“It seems like a pretty big oversight.” Beca grumbles.  
“You’ll figure it out, just like every other celebrity with a kid has.”  
“Sure, but most of those kids haven’t just lost both of their parents.”

Anderson puts his mug down on the table with a ‘clunk’ that’s just a little too loud. Beca grits her teeth and braces herself for whatever it is he’s going to say.

“Look, I’m going to, reluctantly, give you some advice.”  
“Oh goodie.”  
“Trying to keep her away from it is only going to attract it more. Don’t make a bigger deal out of it than it really is. Besides, she’s not a baby. I’m sure she can take care of herself.”  
“She’s twelve. She shouldn’t have to.”

 

 

  
Lucy is working on her in-class English assignment when she feels a tap on her shoulder. She tries to ignore it, she’s already having a hard enough time focusing without another distraction but she feels another tap so she turns her head, only slightly, she knows Matteo won’t stop.

“Who was that gorgeous redhead you were with this morning?”  
“What?”  
“The one that walked you to school. I was going to come over and say hi, and ask her haircare regimen, but she left too quick.”  
“Oh, um, that’s Chloe.”  
“Cute name. But who is she?”

Once again the excuses start to filter through her brain. She isn’t so sure why she feels the need to lie but she was just never comfortable with people knowing her business. Before she can say anything she hears a deep clearing of the throat and Mr. Proctor speaks.

“Lucy and Matteo this is independent work.” They both put their heads down. “Thank you.”

 

 

  
“Maybe I should just stick to the producing side of things for a while, you know; keep my face out of the press.”

Beca is now sitting in Matt’s office. She’s been going back and forth with herself all day. Lucy’s words don’t seem to leave her mind. Even through the music and the meetings, Lucy is still there in the back of her brain,

“And stop performing? No,” He shakes his head, “no way. You’re way too talented for that. And besides, you’re under a contract; if you want to get technical.” He gives her a smirk.

He slides a white box across his desk. It's filled with mock-ups for potential album art; for her first full album. She takes a deep breath but waits a few seconds before letting it out slowly. She doesn’t want to let any part of this moment go, and yet, she wants nothing to do with it at the same time.

“You’ve already given up so much for your sister. Don’t throw away your whole life, simply for the sake of hers. Because in a few years, she’ll be eighteen, out of your house, and you’ll be done with that job. Then what will be left?”  
“It’s just scary. I never know if what I’m doing is actually the right thing.”  
“The only way to know is to do it then wait and see.”  
“Patience isn’t really my thing.”  
“So I’m learning, but maybe faith could be.”

Beca pulls one of the photos from the box and her breath, once again, sticks in her throat. It’s a black and white version of a photo, taken the day Lucy was born. Beca’s hand, holding her sister’s; so fragile and tiny.

“If not for you, then do it for her, if that’s what you need to tell yourself. Because for as much as you think this is going to hurt her, it’s going to help her so much more.”  
“You really, honestly, believe that?” Beca asks, desperately needing some honesty.  
“I do.”  
“Okay then, let’s do it.”

 

 

After English class Lucy nearly runs to her next one to avoid anymore questions but she can’t avoid everyone. Lincoln is in her biology class. She feels her slip into the chair next to her at the lab table. She’s wearing one of the uniform blazers, but it’s oversized, and her shirt is unbuttoned to the third, not the second, another rule violation; Lucy wonders how she gets away with it.

“So, what’s your deal?”

Lucy doesn’t turn her head, only moves her eyes to look at her.

“What do you mean?”  
“I don’t know. You just kind of showed up like every weird drifter in any book I’ve ever read.”  
“Gee, thanks.”  
“You don’t talk about yourself and the second anyone asks you a question, you get all twitchy.”

Lucy turns her head and has to tilt her chin up to look her in the eye

“I just don’t like talking about myself, that’s all.”  
“Neither do I.” She clicks her tongue. “That isn’t it. You’re hiding something, Peach.” She smirks and something about it makes Lucy’s stomach twist. “I’m gonna figure out what it is.”

Lucy takes a deep breath and tries to do the 6-4 breathing that Stacie suggested, but it doesn’t work. The rest of the day, just like the day before, all blurs together and for a brief second she wonders if she’ll ever learn anything ever again.

“Hi sweet girl.”  
“Hey Chlo.”

Lucy rushes out of the school and checks over her shoulder a few times for Matteo and Lincoln.

“How was school?”  
“It was fine. Can we go?”

Chloe nods and sends a quick wave to the women she was talking to. Lucy recognizes them from yesterday. She walks quickly down the street; Chloe right on her heels.

“Hey, Lou, are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just ready to be home.”

Lucy evens her pace and takes Chloe’s hand when she extends it toward her. Chloe pulls her in close and plants a kiss on her temple.

“I missed you today.”  
“I missed you too. What did you do?” Lucy asks, loosening up, only slightly.  
“I studied, a lot. I have a big test coming up and I just don’t feel ready at all.”  
“I hate that.” Lucy says, scrunching up her nose. “I could help you study tonight after dinner if you want.”  
“Thank you, but I think I’ll be alright. Besides, you have your own homework to do.”  
“Don’t remind me.” Lucy groans.  
“It’s kind of my job now, babe.”

When they get to the apartment, Beca and Emily are both there.

“Hi guys.”

Lucy greets them and it hits Beca’s heart. Something about the tone makes her feel nauseous and nostalgic. It’s both familiar and foreign.

“Hey Lou, how was school, kid?”

Lucy walks over and sits herself in the same chair as her sister. Beca’s hand goes instinctively to her hair and she kisses her head.

“It was alright. Are we still going to dinner?”   
“Yes ma’am. Go get changed and start on homework. We’re leaving in an hour.”

Lucy hops up and goes to her room. Beca catches Chloe’s eyes linger on the closed door.

“Baby?”  
“Hm?”  
“Everything alright?”

Chloe looks back to both Emily and Beca staring at her. She sits down in an empty chair.

“Oh yeah, she just seemed a little weird when I picked her up.”  
“Weird how?” Emily asks.

She’s been trying not to go into full on psychologist mode around all of them but sometimes it’s hard.

“Dodgy, I guess. I don’t know.”  
“She’s adjusting,” Emily says, “Lucy has never been an open kid. So moving to a new city, starting a new school, it’s going to make the other kids stare and ask questions. I’m sure she’s just having a tough time with that.”  
“Probably.” Beca says, that pit in her stomach becoming more and more like a sinkhole, “So where are you going tonight?” Beca asks, wanting to change the subject.  
“I don’t know I figured we could go to one of the million restaurants on your street.” Emily says.

 

  
Beca and Lucy sit at the table and both look through the menu. Beca keeps looking up to see if Lucy is actually looking at it; she seems to be. After a few minutes of silence the waitress comes over and they order. When she walks away they are left in their own silence again. It intermingles with the murmurs of other’s conversations and the clinking of glasses to make it a little more bearable. Lucy shifts to sit with her hands under her thighs and Beca taps her nails against her glass of water.

“So you said school was good today?”  
“Yeah, it was fine. How was work?”  
“It was fine.”

Lucy looks around. Her eye catches on another kid around her age and her heart skips. She doesn’t know him but it’s at that moment she realizes they could run into one of the kids from school anywhere, not just at school. She looks back at her sister, who she notices is strategically placed facing away from all of the windows and has one of her hands near her mouth to cover some of her face. She never in a million years would have ever guessed Beca would be famous or that she would want to be. When the Bellas started getting more recognition, it made a little more sense. It wasn’t just her, but now it’s all her and she can’t tell if she’s happy about it.

“Can I ask you something?” Lucy asks.  
“Sure.”  
“How do you deal with it?”  
“With what?”

Lucy realizes Beca wasn’t in her head just now and is a little embarrassed by the brashness of her question.

“With people knowing who you are and like taking your picture and stuff.”

Beca laughs, a little breathy laugh, “I don’t, well, not really.”

Lucy pulls her eyebrows together and waits for more of an explanation. Beca leans forward in her chair and puts her chin in the palm of her hand.

“It definitely gets to me. You know, people putting cameras in my face and asking personal questions, but the thing that really drives me crazy is when people act like they know me. There are only a handful of people that actually get me; you and Chloe.”  
“And the Bellas.”  
“That’s right. The thing I learned pretty early on is that when you have something that other people want, they’ll pretend to be your friend to benefit from it. You just have to grow a thick skin and an even better judge of character.”

Lucy nods along with Beca’s words.

“Is that what worries you about these kids at your school?”  
“I guess. I don’t know why I’m so worried about it now I never needed friends before.”  
“Everyone needs friends, Lou. Especially in times like this.”  
“But I have you and Chloe, and Em.”  
“We’re your family. You need people your own age to talk to and joke around with and maybe get into a little trouble with. Don’t tell Chloe I said that last part.”

Beca makes a grabbing motion and Lucy pulls one of her hand out to put in hers.

“I know you’ve never needed friends before, but you’ve never been here before. So many things are different now, so maybe this needs to change too.”  
“So you’re gonna make me find friends?”

Beca chuckles; the grimace and the tone reminds her of herself when she first showed up at Barden.

“I’m not going to show up at your school and hold interviews or anything. All I’m saying is to keep an open mind. I know you didn’t have a lot in common with the kids at your old school, but New York is very different than Barden. I think you might be surprised by what you find.”

 

 

  
Chloe and Emily are in a restaurant across the street from the apartment, deciding to forego the taxis and subways. It’s intimate, or what most people would call cramped with dim lighting and a single waitress for the whole place. They tuck themselves into the two-seater corner booth and wait.

“Are you all set for your flight tomorrow?” Chloe asks.  
“Yeah, I think so. We’re still doing an early dinner with Stacie?”  
“Mhm.”

Emily sighs and fiddles with the menu.

“I really wish I didn’t have to go.”  
“Believe me, I wish you didn’t either.”  
“You guys are going to be alright?”

Chloe looks into Emily’s face and smiles. It still amazes her how much she has grown up since they met. She’s the perfect mix of innocent and knowledgeable, professional and fun, dorky and pulled together, and she has made a huge difference for Beca and Lucy since she’s been here, but Chloe knows her whole life is back in Georgia.

“I think we’ll be fine. We’ve managed so far. Besides, you have a man to get back to.”

Chloe catches a blush and she lets out a light chuckle.

“Seriously though, we’ll be okay. I’m already noticing little things going back to normal, or moving toward whatever our new normal is going to be.”  
“You’re my hero, Chlo.”  
“What?” Chloe asks, genuinely surprised. “Why me?”  
“You’ve been so graceful through all of this. All I’ve heard from Beca and Lucy is how you’ve been so strong and kept them going since the accident. Not that I’m surprised. You’ve always been one of the most supportive people I know.”  
“I don’t know about that.”  
“I do. I just want to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself too.”  
“I’m fine.” Chloe says, maybe a little too defensively.  
“Are you? You don’t seem very happy.”  
“My girlfriends parents just died.”  
“I know, but I don’t think it’s related. I could be wrong, it’s happened once before but, I think there’s something else going on.”

Chloe doesn’t speak right away. She can’t seem to pull her eyes away from Emily’s and the longer she stares, the more she feels her resolve crumble. She takes a sip from her water glass and sighs.

“I don’t think I want to be a veterinarian anymore.”  
“Oh. Really?”  
“I know I’ve been saying it’s what I want for a long time but I’m just not sure anymore.”  
“Well, that’s okay.”  
“I haven’t told Beca yet. I’m just afraid she’s going to think…” Chloe trails off.

Their conversation is put on hold when the waitress finally makes her way over to their table. Once she’s gone again Emily looks back at Chloe and says,

“Whatever you’re scared about with Beca, don’t be. She just wants you to be happy. And if you need more time to figure out what it is that’s going to get you there, then she’ll be more than willing to wait.”  
“I hope so.”

Emily taps Chloe’s knee with her own and they both smile.

“Did I mention that I don’t want you to go?”

 

 

The next morning, Beca wakes up early to Lucy in her bed and Chloe nowhere to be found. Normally she wouldn’t bat an eyelash at waking up after her girlfriend, but at five in the morning, it’s a little odd. She rolls out of bed, trying not to jostle her sister. Her first thought is that she’s sick so she checks the bathroom but she’s not in there. So she walks to the other end of the apartment. Chloe is sitting in the living room on her laptop.

“Hey babe.”

Chloe jumps at the sudden intrusion of her voice. She shuts her computer and pushes it off of her lap. Beca finds this a little strange but doesn’t say anything. She walks over and stands in front of her.

“What are you doing up? This is early, even for you.”  
“I don’t know. Just couldn't sleep.”  
“Are you feeling alright?” Beca asks, putting her palm on her forehead.

Chloe smiles, sleep still very present in her bright blue eyes. She couldn’t have been awake for very long.

“I’m fine.”

Beca wants to push but she knows it’s too early and it could lead to an argument. Instead she sits down on the couch and pulls her hair up into a ponytail.

“When did the little one join us?”  
“Somewhere around midnight I think.”  
“Bad dream?”  
“She didn’t say.”

Beca bites her lower lip.

“It’s kind of crazy, right?”  
“What is?” Chloe asks, she watches Beca’s eyes move around the room.  
“Our life. I mean, I kind of always figured we would have kids because you’re so amazing with them. I just never thought we would start right out with a twelve year old.”  
“We could, if we adopt one.”  
“I think we’re a ways away from that; especially now.”

There’s a long pause before Chloe speaks again.

“You always pictured us with kids?”  
“Yeah. Didn’t you?”

Beca rests her head on Chloe’s shoulder, the exhaustion settling back in.

“I think so. I always wanted them. I just wasn’t sure it was something you wanted.”  
“And that’s something you were willing to give up for me?”  
“I don’t know.” Chloe answers earnestly. “I think so. But seeing you with Lucy, I know that if that time comes for us you’ll be an incredible mom, and that little girl in there will be the best aunt our kids could ask for.”  
Beca nods, “Do you think she’ll feel displaced?”

Chloe kisses Beca’s head and pulls her in tighter.

“We have plenty of time to think about it. You haven't even proposed to me yet.”

Beca scoffs and turns her head to give Chloe a proper good morning kiss, because it’s very clear neither of them are going back to sleep.

 

 

Later that morning, while on her way to school, Lucy doesn’t hear much of what Chloe is saying. Instead she’s thinking about what Beca said the night before.

“Alright Lou, have a good day.”

Chloe’s words pull her from her thoughts. She realizes she’s now standing in front of the school.

“Oh okay, yeah, I will.”  
“Love you.”  
“Love you too.”

Lucy hikes her backpack up higher on her shoulder and starts up the front steps. Matteo is sitting on the railing by the main door. As usual, he has a huge smile on his face, and he is kicking his legs back and forth. Next to him is Alice. She is harder to read but in the moment she looks contented.

“Hey Lucy.”  
“Hi guys, what’s going on?”  
“The mystery redhead returns.” Matteo says, ignoring her question altogether. “Are you finally going to tell me who she is, or do I need to guess? Is she your mother and this is some kind of Benjamin Button situation?”

The word ‘mother’ hits Lucy in the gut but she knows it’s just a joke.

“Or is she your nanny? Or, oh I know, is she your sugar mama?”  
“Dude gross.” Lucy says, actually letting a laugh escape. “She’s my sister’s girlfriend.”  
“Oh, lesbians. Cool.”

Lucy lets out a boisterous laugh this time. This was not the reaction she was expecting.

“Tell your sister, good pull. She’s stunning.”  
“Oh my God.” Poppy says, walking up next to Lucy. “Are we still talking about the redhead?”  
“Wait, you knew she was the girlfriend this whole time and you didn’t tell me who she was?”  
“Wasn’t for me to tell.”

And just like that Lucy feels like she can trust Poppy. She kept this secret, if you can call it that, from her best friend for a person she barely knows.

“You’re too altruistic for your own good sometimes, Weaver.”  
“Yeah, yeah, nice vocab word.”

Lincoln walks up just as the first bell rings and they all go their separate ways. Some of them go to their lockers, but Lucy and Poppy go right to their English class.

“So can I ask you something?” Poppy asks.  
“Sure.”  
“You said you live with your sister. Why?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com
> 
> I'm going to start posting songs on their under the tag #DOPMixtape   
> Basically just all the songs that have been incorporated or have inspired this story. For example this chapter's title is taken from the song The World Spins Madly On by the Weepies.


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